A historian’s take on Lincoln

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.18.12

I did my best when I reviewed Lincoln, and it was pretty good because I’m a certified genius, but to a certain degree, my analysis of it as entertainment value doesn’t matter nearly as much as how accurate it was as history. Because while certain biopics about historical figures go more for historical fiction than literal history (Braveheart, say), the ones that do purport to be factual have a certain amount of responsibility. It’s scarily easy for popular myths to drown out actual truths in the popular memory, like that time Teddy Roosevelt ate three whole pheasants and still mollywhopped a Cossack. I’m not a Civil War historian, so I leave the historical analysis up to the experts, like Associate Professor of History at Connecticut College Jim Downs, who recently wrote a nice piece on Lincoln for Huffington Post.

Downs’ take on Lincoln is, predictably, nuanced. He refutes other historians charges that Spielberg portrayed blacks as passive, arguing that the subtlety of their objections to the proceedings in the movie actually seems period accurate. He praises Gloria Reuben’s performance as Lincoln’s housekeeper, Elizabeth Keckley, as “a masterful portrayal of subtlety and dissemblance” – a delicate balancing act of dual consciousness, fulfilling white expectations while maintaining an inner self.

Meanwhile, Downs takes Spielberg (or screenwriter Tony Kushner, depending on how you look at it) to task for failing to present Lincoln and others’ true motivations for wanting to abolish slavery, a good deal of which was economic. (This part involves some spoilers):

At that point, I wanted to jump up in the theater in the spirit of Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry Maguire and exclaim, “show me the money.” Were there no economic motivations for abolishing slavery? Economic concerns were integral in starting the war — the South wanted to move west to expand cotton production and needed slave labor to ensure its capital growth. The North feared that if slavery expanded to the West, then the Northern economy would crumble as a result of competition and the general desolation that slavery left in its wake. Yet Spielberg’s Lincoln never tips his stovepipe hat to economic considerations for ending slavery nor do any of the members of Congress who speak ardently for passage of the bill. In the film, the Speaker of the House, in an unprecedented move, interrupts the proceedings to announce that he wants to add his vote to the tally, claiming that he was breaking parliamentary procedure and voting for the bill in the name of history. Are we really supposed to believe that the whole of Congress voted to end slavery based solely on how they thought history would remember them, or did their economic self-interests play a part?

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Tarzan to be an interracial buddy-cop movie starring Alexander Skarsgard & Samuel Jackson

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.14.12

Making a Tarzan movie sounds like a horrible idea, but if you’re going to do it, you might as well cast a tall, handsome, Swedish version of Ryan Gosling that loves to party like Alexander Skårsgard. I’m not saying he’s handsome, but theaters should probably invest in a gutter system to collect all the melted panties. Skårsgåååård is reportedly director David Yates’ (Harry Potter) first choice for the role, and it’s nice to see handsome people finally catch a break.

An imposing physical presence at 6’4″, Skarsgard is Yates’ choice to play the vine-swinging hero, sources tell Variety.

Skarsgard doesn’t have an offer and the studio hasn’t finalized any casting decisions for the film, which has yet to go before the studio’s greenlight committee. However, with a summer start date being planned, it is expected to be greenlit before the end of the year, as WB is high on Yates and wouldn’t tie up his schedule with a movie it has no intention of making.

Should Yates convince Warners brass to sign off on Skarsgard’s casting, the Swedish thesp would play John Clayton III, known around the world as the famous “ape man” Tarzan. Years after he’s re-assimilated into society, he’s asked by Queen Victoria to investigate the goings-on in the Congo. Tarzan teams with an ex-mercenary named George Washington Williams to save the Congo from a fierce warlord who controls a massive diamond mine.

Wait wait wait, so it starts with Tarzan wearing a suit talking to the queen, and he has to go back to the jungle  and keep from going native? Holy crap, this is like the movie version of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. JUST TAKE MY TEN DOLLARS ALREADY! Oh, and did I mention it’ll be a 19th century colonial interracial buddy-cop movie where one of them is an ape man? Because sh*t yeah, that just happened:

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‘Lincoln’ Has A Teaser Trailer, Spoiler Alert: He Dies

Written by Ashley Burns / 09.11.12

On Thursday, people who actually use their Google+ accounts can log in for a special Q&A Google Hangout with Lincoln director Steven Spielberg and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who plays Robert Todd Lincoln, after the official trailer for the film that is going to win eleventy billion Oscars is released. If you’re unfamiliar with the story of Lincoln, he is generally regarded as one of the greatest presidents in American history. Born in a log cabin, Lincoln’s father was a pioneer in a special kind of logs that made it even easier for people to build their own homes, and that was important because small children were often left to run entire families since the average life span of that era was 9 years.

Eventually, Lincoln grew really tall and people were like, “Well you’re the tallest bro, so you get to be president” and Lincoln was all, “Only if I get an awesome hat” and the Supreme Court voted 4-3 that he could have that awesome hat. Soon, a giant war broke out between the North and the South, because British people were still really pissed that we weren’t sending money home anymore, so they told the southern states that the North was saying really f*cked up things about them. That war became known as the War of 1812.

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16-year-old Nicole Kidman discusses her work in ‘BMX Bandits’

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.08.11

Kidman-16-BMX-banditsOn March 15th, Severin Films is releasing on DVD and Blu-Ray the 1983 cult classic BMX Bandits, which was basically the Surf Ninjas of its time. It was a film about stolen walk-talkies, radical bike tricks, and 80s synth-pop singalongs. But best of all, it starred a 16-year-old future Oscar winner in Nicole Kidman.  (For an added bit of trivia, it was directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith, director of Turkey Shoot, one of the most awesomely-terrible exploitation films you will ever see).

Here we see a 16-year-old Kidman, rocking a poodle perm and painted one-piece, looking like the flyest Fly Girl at Jazzercise (don’t laugh, that’s how you were conceived), discussing her role in the film.  She then introduces a clip which seems to pre-date the “BMX Joust” segment on Jackass by almost 20 years.  And if that weren’t radical enough, after that there’s a sing-along segment.  To be honest, I’m not sure whether it’s part of the film clip or just part of the show she’s on.  All I know is that the “singing kids wearing helmets” reaction shots are SIMPLY. AMAZING.  My God, they’re so wholesome, and so retarded-looking.  They’re like the special-ed tabernacle choir.

BMX-bandits BMX-Bandits2 BMX-Bandits3

I wonder where they are now.  Probably dead.  Dingos got em.

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