(Julia Roberts sits down for tea with one of the lesser-known Kardashian sisters, Kurry)

With The Dependables and Michael Cera’s Lesbian Hair Affair opening this weekend, I worry that a fine, life-affirming drama like Eat, Pray, Love might slip through the cracks, like so much moist queef air.   I posted Jim Norton’s review yesterday (“she falls in love with the smell of garbage”), but even that didn’t seem to build anyone’s enthusiasm.  Well, what if I told you the movie was so powerful that it caused a Hollywood actress to adopt an Eastern religion?  That’s right, who’s laughing now?  This is unprecedented.

In her September Elle magazine cover story, Roberts anounces that since her film-making sojourn in India, she and her family now worship as Hindus and go together to a temple to “chant and pray and celebrate. I’m definitely a practicing Hindu.”

Roberts, who was brought up Christian, has already named her production company Red Om Films,” drawing on the mystical syllable Hindus say encompasses the universe. [USA Today]

I wonder if Hindus worry that their status as one of the world’s least-annoying religions will be jeopardized by its association to famous actors.  No one wants to be the next Kabbalah.  But you have to admit at least this much: a six-limbed elephant God is way more awesome than anything the other religions have, unless you count Scientology, and no one does.  Speaking of six-limbed elephant gods, I wonder if Japan has ever produced any Ganesh porn.  Seems right up their alley.

In a related story, Nicolas Cage now believes he’s a sorcerer.

Everyone knows that when James Cameron’s Avatar opens next month, it will fundamentally alter the fabric of reality as we know it.  What most people don’t know is that Hindus are pissed about it:

The Universal Society of Hinduism and its president Rajan Zed are demanding Cameron put a disclaimer before and after the new 3-D flick saying it has diddly squat to do with the Hindu religion and its concepts … and the title is just a coincidence.
The concept of “avatar” — commonly known as incarnation — is a central theme in Hinduism and prominent Hindus are worried the movie will completely botch it if Cameron doesn’t bother to explain himself.
Ironically Cameron’s film will reportedly be the biggest ever Hollywood release in India. [TMZ]

Hate to break this to you, Rajan, but there are probably three or four other things people think of before Hinduism when they hear the word “avatar,” so you’re certainly right about the coincidence part.  But as long as the Hindus are trying to send a message to James Cameron, I think a severed elephant head in his bed would do the trick.  In related news, diddly squats are Roman Polanski’s favorite exercise.

According to CinemaBlend, The Universal Society of Hinduism is demanding an advance screening of Mike Myers’ new movie The Love Guru for Hindu leaders.

The request comes from a fear that the movie appears to be lampooning Hinduism while tossing about Hindu terminology frivolously, according to a press release issued by the group. President of the Society, Rajan Zed, stated that Hinduism should not be taken lightly, as the oldest and third largest religion in the world.

Reached for comment, Rajan said, "’His karma is huge’?  What does that even mean?  Is that supposed to be some sort of lame dick joke?  If one is to make a double entendre joke, at least one of the words in it has to have more than one meaning – that is the basic definition of double entendre! Rajan does not believe that is the case here.  Do not get me wrong, Rajan loves dick jokes. But ‘His karma is huge’?  That is not funny.  That does not even make sense.  Rajan watch movie trailer and the whole time Rajan think, ‘Has not Rajan already seen these jokes somewhere before?’  And then Rajan think, ‘Austin Powers!  Rajan already saw all these dumb gags in the Austin Powers movies.’  Rajan is offended by this Love Guru, for he presumes Rajan has never seen an American comedy movie before.  Rajan has seen many comedies.  Rajan loves Wedding Crashers.  But Rajan thinks Love Guru deserves direct-to-DVD release.  That is all – Rajan has spoken." 

MINI UPDATE – As pointed out by commenter "The Luchador", Myers may think he’s getting a pass because he’s buddies with Deepak Chopra [ha, more like DeeBAG Chopra - Ed.]. Relevant video after the jump. 

Ahh, nothing better than a comedian who will seriously discuss "his craft", is there?