A few weeks ago, you may remember Danger Guerrero bringing you the story about Hilary Swank (along with Jean-Claude Van Damme) getting paid a fee rumored to be in the six figures to attend a birthday party for autocratic Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov (pictured, left), a dude who Human Rights Watch has said presides over a regime responsible for kidnappings, torture, and executions. At the party, Jean Claude was filmed on stage telling Kadyrov “I love you,” and Swank wished him a happy birthday. (No word on whether she worked in any references to her movies, but I think it’d be neat if she’d said “Birthday boys don’t cry, you look like a million dollars, baby!”).

The party also included performances by Seal and a famous British violinist, fireworks, acrobats, a floating stage on the river Sunzha in Grozny, and portraits of Kadyrov displayed throughout the city, leaving little doubt that this dude parties way harder than Kirk Cameron, who celebrated his birthday with extra mayo. Now, in the fallout from all the anti-murder-and-kidnapping shrivs blowing up her spot, Swank has offered to donate her appearance fee to charity and fired her manager.

The Independent on Sunday understands that Jason Weinberg, Swank’s friend and manager of eight years, was unceremoniously fired last week. Amie Yavor and Josh Lieberman, two of Swank’s representatives at Hollywood’s most powerful talent agency, CAA, and the people who made the Chechen booking, also face being moved off her team.

Can one be ceremoniously fired? That’d be something I’d like to see. I hope it would involve tearing a fancy seal off someone’s jacket in front of everyone. I’m also curious as to how many members there are of “Team Swank,” and what they do all day.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Roc is in the building.

Hilary Swank and Jean-Claude Van Damme have found themselves in some hot water after attending the 35th birthday party of Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov, who Human Rights Watch has said presides over a regime responsible for kidnappings, torture, and executions, among other human rights abuses. From The Hollywood Reporter:

According to the Human Rights Foundation, Jean-Claude Van Damme stood on stage and said, “I love you Mr. Kadyrov” while Swank said she was honored to be in Grozny and wished Kadyrov a “Happy Birthday.” After Swank spoke, British violinist Vanessa-Mae performed for a reported half a million dollars. There were fireworks and performances by acrobats. The celebration was held on a floating stage on the River Sunzha; portraits of Kadyrov were displayed throughout the city.

According to one talent rep, stars are paid in the six figures to attend such events. Their perks routinely include private jets and first-class hotel suites.

Okay, first and foremost, allow me to clear up a common misconception and state that I am FIRMLY against kidnapping and murdering innocent people. Like, all the way. Maybe that puts me outside your precious “mainstream,” but I don’t care. It’s just a stand a have to take.

Second of all, what the butt, you guys. After a significant amount of thought, I’ve narrowed the most important non-murdery parts of the story to these five issues:

Read the rest of this entry »

It’s always interesting to see what fights a studio will pick over casting choices, because their demands always seem a bit strange and arbitrary.  Right now Sam Raimi is making a Wizard of Oz prequel at Disney called Oz, the Great and Powerful, about “the tale of a young illusionist with a grandiose attitude who is forced to flee a traveling circus. His hot air balloon is swept up by a tornado to the land of Oz, which is run by two magical wicked witches.”

With James Franco is set to play the wizard, Raimi reportedly wants two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank (Boys Don’t Cry and Million Dollar Baby) to play one of the elder witches, but Disney is pushing for Michelle Williams instead.  It’s a weird fight, because it’s not like either of them is box office poison or a surefire draw.

It’s unclear how far Raimi is willing to take his fight, but one agent familiar with the director notes that he can be doggedly tenacious in such situations: Infamously, when Sony’s Columbia Pictures brass and virtually everyone else involved with producing the first Spider-Man were pushing American Beauty star Wes Bentley for the role of Peter Parker, it was Raimi alone who insisted on — and obviously ultimately succeeded — in getting Tobey Maguire approved for the star-making part. [Vulture]

Huh.  I guess good on Sam Raimi for sticking to his guns, but really, it’s not like they were trying to stick him with Willow Smith or something.  Instead, it’s just another acclaimed actress I find oddly boring for being a reasonably attractive woman with above-average breasts.  We should find out who actually managed to stay awake during these discussions and hire them as air-traffic controllers.

I apologize in advance for yet again making you aware of a new Kate Hudson rom-com, but I find this project fascinating.  First, the awesomely rom-commy title, “Something Borrowed,” should tell you everything you need to know.  But if that’s not enough, you also get a trailer that sets up the story — Ginnifer Goodwin’s best friend Kate Hudson is marrying her super-handsome-but-platonic male friend.  MY GOD, I’VE NEVER SEEN A ROMANTIC COMEDY BEFORE, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN BETWEEN THE TWO ATTRACTIVE PLATONIC CAUCASIANS BEFORE THE CREDITS ROLL??  Oh, but it doesn’t stop there.  It also introduces a brand new, even-more-intelligence-insulting character to the crappy rom-com family: EXPOSITORY JOHN KRASINSKI!

BUT WAIT, I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THE SUBTEXT OF THE THING THAT HAPPENED FIVE SECONDS AGO, PLEASE BREAK IT DOWN FOR ME, JOHN KRASINSKI! HEY, MAYBE WE COULD EVEN HAVE CHARACTER CONFESSIONALS LIKE ON THE HILLS! Ooh, ooh, what else can we cross off the lazy hack writer checklist?

• Irrelevant dance montage
• Character chokes on wine at dinner party, OH NO, NOT THE FREUDIAN WINE CHOKE!
• Running through the rain

Also, this isn’t really a cliché, but it’s such a stunningly nauseating example of yuppie mouth puke that I thought it bore mention… F*CKING BADMINTON ON THE BEACH WHILE DRINKING CHARDONNAY:

Read the rest of this entry »

In my favorite headline of the day, Gloria Allred has scheduled a press conference this morning in which she reportedly has “particularly strong words for Hilary Swank.”  But she better bring more than strong words, because last I checked, Hilary Swank knows karate.  (…And kinda looks like a dude).

Allred’s strong words are in reference to Swank’s upcoming film Conviction, in which blah blah blah this isn’t really that interesting…

The movie is based on the story of Kenneth Waters [played by Sam Rockwell], who was convicted of brutally murdering Katharina Brow in 1980. Waters was released from prison after serving 18 years when DNA showed the blood samples used to convict him were not a match.
The flick — which opens Friday — chronicles the steps Waters’ sister took to free him, but Swank and company never contacted Brow’s kids.
Allred says, “The murder victim’s children feel that no proper respect or compassion has been shown by Ms. Swank [who's also an executive producer on the project] for the murder victim and her family.” [TMZ]

And by “proper respect”, I imagine she means “money.” At this point, do people really think Gloria Allred is going to represent their interests?  Everyone knows she’ll do anything for the chance to scowl at some TV cameras.  I like to imagine the sign language interpreter at her press conference doing a yap yap yap thing with one hand and circling his ear as if to say “cuckoo” with the other.  My uncle likes to say her name’s “Allred” because she’s “always on her period.”   Ha, women, am I right?

Read the rest of this entry »