No good news again this weekend, with High School Musical 3 hitting number one with $42 million as expected, followed by Saw V with $30.5.  Believe it or not, it was the first Saw film since the original not to debut at number 1.  If only Seltzer and Freebird had had a movie out this weekend, my vision of a dystopian future would’ve been fully realized. 

In other news, I’ll bet everything I own that the High School Musical franchise will continue, and we know there’s going to be a Saw VI because of Scream Queens on VH1 – which “will gather 10 unknown actresses who will vie for an unprecedented prize – a break-out role in Saw VI.”

Good luck, ladies!  Maybe someday you’ll be a household name like Shawnee Smith or Bahar Soomekh or even Athena Karkanis!  (full top ten after the jump).

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High School Musical 3 opens this weekend, and I shit you not, experts are predicting a $40 million-plus opening weekend.  According to Nikki Finke, HSM3 currently accounts for 85% of all movie tickets sold on MovieTicket.com, and 86% on Fandango.

This movie is going to make a billion dollars. You know what I call that?  Poetic justice.  This is exactly what all of you sex and violence-hating pussies deserve: a nation full of gay kids.  Because you know what you get when you take nudity and gun fights out of movies?  You get a bunch of f-cking kids doing a big musical number about basketball on the basketball court. Then you hand your son a basketball and tell him to go play and wonder why he just stares at it like it’s a stage prop.  Look at that f-cking picture!  I gazed at it a little too long and all of a sudden I was French-kissing a man.  Just imagine your kid sitting through two hours of that.  That would make a lumberjack love cock.

But I’m sure it’s fine.  Just make sure you send him to one of those camps that cures gay people, where they make him bunk with 20 other gay kids and all the counselors are guys who were gay until they learned how to conquer their queer with Jesus.

With an intro by Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, here’s the new trailer for High School Musical 3, which will premiere in theaters for the first time. Look, I’m all for tolerance and crap, but I’m not sure a world where kids don’t get beat up for doing stuff like this is a world I want to live in.

The new poster from High School Musical 3: Senior Year, seems to imply that your favorite pseudo celebrities that I’ve been trying to ignore for the last few years are finally graduating.  Hooray, I got an A in Jazz Hands, they appear to be saying.

Why is it every time people try to make something "wholesome" they end up with "really really super duper gay"?  It’s a mistake the pastors and priests seem to be making a lot lately too.  If they’re really as worried about their kids catching the gay as they say they are, they’d be better of getting them into death metal.  Plus, having your kids running around singing Battery Acid Enema or F-d With an Axe is a lot less annoying than Banana Milkshake or whatever Efron’s songs are called. 

Here’s some news for you hardcore filmophiles – E! reports that Freckletits’ little sister is auditioning for High School Musical 3.

Producers of Disney’s upcoming High School Musical 3 are considering Lohan—that is, LiLo’s 14-year-old sister, Ali—for a part in the flick, which finds Troy (Zac Efron) and Gabriella (Vanessa Hudgens) as high school seniors preparing for college.

A source tells me Lohan could be up for the role of a spoiled little princess. Think of her as a Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) in training.

Gosh, this sounds like a great idea.  We all know the happiness and piece of mind fame has brought her sister.   I wonder if this will be a chapter of Dina Lohan’s parenting book!  You know what chapter I bet isn’t in it?  School.  Nothing kills your career like books.

Oh, and I think if we’re calling Freckletits "LiLo", shouldn’t her sister’s name be "ALoha"?  Crap, I shouldn’t have said that…