Remember when they tried to make American Psycho more accessible to today’s youth? You probably don’t. But it totally happened. Just watch. [via it Makes no Sense]

MORNING LINKS
Pictured: Arnold Schwarzenegger crushed a car with a tank today |Film Drunk|

Laremy talks about his New Year’s Eve movie marathon, and rubs it in about seeing Zero Dark Thirty |Frotcast|

Never change, John Mayer. [via Pleated Jeans]

Meet The Awesome Mom Who Made Her Son Sign An 18-Point Contract To Get His First iPhone |UPROXX|

The Best And Worst Of Geek Culture 2012 (Part 1)
|Gamma Squad|

The Vikings May Have Lost, But This Minnesota Local News Report Wins Everything |Warming Glow|

The Best Of Vintage WWF Royal Rumble Promos |With Leather|

Vampire Weekend To Release Third Album This Spring |Smoking Section|

Ray Lewis Bid Farewell To The Dirt |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

You can’t explain that |theChive|

13 Actors Whose Faces You Know From TV But Names You Don’t |Buzzfeed|

Of Course Chris Brown’s Cheating On Rihanna |The Superficial|

27 Cats Who Can’t Believe What They Just Saw |HuffPost Comedy|

Puking Robot Is My Favorite Robot |Videogum|

The 12 Most Important Sneakers Over The Last Decade |Giant Life|

Worst Video of 2013 |Holy Taco|

Napoleon Wasn’t Short, Vikings Didn’t Wear Horned Helmets, and 3 More Historical Misconceptions
|Mental Floss|

JWoww Posted A Video Of Her Butt |IDLYITW|

What to Say When Someone Knocks on the Bathroom Door |College Humor|

An Open Letter to Judd Apatow |NextMovie|

Cinema’s Most Dynamic Duos of 2012 |Pajiba|

Who Is This Year’s Channing Tatum, A.K.A. the Next Big Thing of 2013? |Film.com|

Blackface Is Still Totally Cool in Germany, Apparently |Hypervocal|

Flesh-Slapping Drum Solo |Clip Nation|

Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks |Smosh|

“Top 10 Worst Solo Albums by Superstar Band Members” is just begging for a fight |Fark|

20 Athlete Crushes from Your Childhood |Brobible|

A Close Encounter With A Polar Bear |High Definite|

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This is probably a little too inside baseball, but the Twittersphere is all full of vinegar and vagina sand today over GQ writer Edith Zimmerman’s profile of Chris Evans, with whom she got drunk and kind of swooned over.  Now, predictably, people are whining about her “unprofessionalism.”  Which neglects to mention that “professionalism” in journalism is usually just a synonym for “dishonesty” or “obfuscation.”  When someone’s actually honest about being smitten and starstruck by a handsome movie star instead of just portraying their idea of “boring entertainment reporter,” the “terrible” result is an actor profile that people might actually want to read.  (Also, anyone who uses the word “horrified” to describe anything other than war crimes can pretty much go f*ck themselves).  Aaaaanyhooooo, long story short, it’s a fun article, and Chris Evans seems cool.  Here’s my favorite bit:

“The point is that when I see a sunset or a waterfall or something, for a split second it’s so great, because for a little bit I’m out of my brain, and it’s got nothing to do with me. I’m not trying to figure it out, you know what I mean? And I wonder if I can somehow find a way to maintain that mind stillness.”

“That’s what alcohol is for, right?” I said, which was too cute and too prescient.

“Boom.” He high-fived me. It’s hard to say which he did more: high-five when he was pleased about a joke of his or mine, or make jerk-off gestures when he was sick of hearing himself talk.

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