For a guy who hasn’t made a feature since Rush Hour 3, Brett Ratner’s name sure gets attached to a lot of projects. My sense is that he just shows up, collects a paycheck for a while, and then leaves when the nachos run out.  The latest project for which he’s reportedly “in talks” is Hercules.  I just hope they’ll treat it with all the respect they showed Conan, by which I mean hire a guy from a Baywatch spinoff to star.

Mustard my corn dog, LA Times:

Ratner is in talks to direct Lerner’s long-developed tale of the mythological god (Hercules to the Romans, Heracles to the Greeks). The producer has been developing the movie for more than three years, with the project gaining new momentum of late, though it’s still in the development stage. Little is known about the specifics of the new version, though it’s expected to bring Lerner’s classic action ethos to the larger-than-life character.

If this project ever happens (which it won’t), I guaran-godd*mn-tee you they will try to get Taylor Lautner to star. They should just re-release the original from 1970 in which Arnold Schwarzenegger fights a bear.  This is one of my favorite clips of all time:

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Folks, sometimes we here at FilmDrunk like to take a time out from movie news to ponder the big questions.  Questions like, “Who’s better at fighting bears, Walker Texas Ranger (Chuck Norris) or Hercules (Lou Ferrigno)?”

Hercules seems to be a clear winner, on account of him beating up the bear and throwing it into outer space (though the bear’s ghost does growl menacingly at us).  Meanwhile, Walker defeats his bear simply by looking into his soul, like some kind of pacificist, new-age pussy.  What’s up, Chuck? I thought you were a Republican. Or maybe I switched on Walker Canadian Mountie by mistake? If so, my bad. 

*mouths “PUSSY”*
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If you heard “Hercules movie” and instantly thought it would be some low-budget, b-movie joke, guess again. Hercules: The Beginning is set to be directed by none other than Sheldon Lettich, whom you may remember from his masterpiece, Double Impact (see above and after the jump). I can’t wait.

[Variety]
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Peter Berg (Hancock, The Kingdom) is set to direct Hercules: The Thracian Wars, based on Steve Moore’s five-issue comic book of the same name, which came out in May. This project, of course, is not to be confused with War of Gods, from Tarsem Singh and the producers of 300 about a war between Gods and humans.  Nor should it be confused with Clash of the Titans, to be directed by Louis Leterrier (Incredible Hulk).  And oh yeah, they’re also making a sequel to the 300 that they’re even admitting is a sequel to 300.

Hollywood these days is like hanging out with four coked-up dudes in a bathroom where one guy says something and the other three are so quick to agree that they just repeat what the first guy said but with "Yeah" at the beginning.  Which would be okay if the first guy’s idea was the scene where Arnold feeds the deer in Commando because that shit was awesome.

[Variety]