Ender’s Game has a trailer, so it’s definitely a movie

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.08.13

Ender’s Game is a sci-fi novel written by Orson Scott Card that’s been adapted to a film starring Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley, Asa Butterfield, and Hailey Steinfeld, directed by Gavin Hood, whose American films, Rendition and Wolverine, have been underwhelming so far. It opens November 1st. Here’s the Wiki synopsis of the book:

Ender’s Game (1985) is a science fiction novel by American author Orson Scott Card. Set in Earth’s future, the novel presents an imperiled humankind that has barely survived two conflicts with the “Buggers”, an insectoid alien species. In preparation for an anticipated third invasion, an international fleet maintains a school to find and train future fleet commanders. The world’s most talented children, including the novel’s protagonist, Ender Wiggin, are taken at a very young age to a training center known as the Battle School. There, teachers train them in the arts of war through increasingly difficult games including ones undertaken in zero gravity in the Battle Room, where Ender’s tactical genius is revealed.

So… Starship Troopers, but younger, basically? And the bugs are a metaphor for the gays? I always find it weird when sci-fi works so hard on creating some crazy universe unto itself and then gives a key plot element a vague name like “Buggers” or “unobtanium.” “Here’s a mysterious robot powered by light that controls all life on the universe.” “Ooh, what’s it called?” “Eh, I dunno, a doohickey.”

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Harrison Ford is joining Anchorman 2

Written by Vince Mancini / 03.04.13

Hot off the presses comes the news that Harrison Ford, who once played a crotchedy news anchor in that one movie about

Ford will play a legendary newscaster a la Tom Brokaw in the Adam McKay-helmed comedy, which begins shooting this month in Atlanta. [THR]

Pretty much every comedy actor you’d ever heard of at the time had at least a cameo in Anchorman, and the sequel adds to the originals Kristen Wiig, as Brick Tamlan’s wife, James Marsden, who won me over on 30 Rock, as a “hot young anchor,” and now Harrison Ford. And supposedly they’re trying to get Jeff Bridges to play a “Ted Turner-esque character.

We could spend all day discussing the inherent difficulties in trying to recapture the magic of a beloved comedy classic (Caddyshack 2 anyone? The Austin Powers sequels?), but I’d much rather spend this time speculating about what Harrison Ford’s character’s name will be. Ron Bergundy, Veronica Corningstone, Brick Tamlan, Wes Mantooth – the best thing about Anchorman was the names. What could Harrison Ford’s character’s name be? We’ve compiled a list of possibilities:

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Harrison Ford Gonna Rock That Han Solo Joint Again

Written by Laremy / 02.15.13

After Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull everyone was down on my main man, Harri-Fo. Not so fast suckers, because El Mayimbe (Spanish for “The Mayimbe”) broke the news today that Ford will return for Star Wars VII. What?! Shiver me timbers and call me Sally the Southern Biscuit, this news has the “Warsians” (why do they call themselves such a weird name?) all in a lather.

Slate has cautioned this might be false info, but they are correct about The Mayimbe’s general veracity. I drank once with that dude and he seemed pretty legit to me. He didn’t order a flavored vodka or anything like that.

There’s not much more to say other than to note that both R2-D2 and C-3PO passed on the project out of “respect for the original work” and “not wanting to be an easy target for South Park“.

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This Week in Posters, With Tyler Perry’s Latest Masterpiece

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.06.12

Here’s the poster for Tyler Perry’s latest, Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor (oh, man, that title). With the snake circling the lady’s face shaped like an apple, you almost get the feeling there’s going to be some religious overtones to this one, am I right? Or maybe I’m just reading too much into this one. I can do that sometimes, where I see Biblical imagery in something totally innocuous, like a snake circling an apple on a red background with TEMPTATION in giant letters below it.

By the way, I’d love to be a marriage counselor in a Tyler Perry movie. That would be the easiest job in the world. “Hmm, let’s see… so you’re currently trapped in a loveless marriage in which your husband is a cold, distant workaholic who beats you and belittles you in front of the children, and you’re wondering if you should leave him for the attractive, independently wealthy widower with six-pack abs who sends you flowers every day and coaches softball for dyslexic kids? ….You know, I’m gonna be honest, this doesn’t seem like much of a conflict.”

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Harrison Ford “open” to playing 70-year-old Han Solo in Star Wars VII

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.06.12

By far the worst thing about the announcement that Disney was acquiring LucasFilm and planning a Star Wars Episode VII was knowing that it would mean probably five years of fact-free Star Wars speculation. So get excited for that. (*puts together 50-page slideshow of ‘EPISODE VII PLOTS WE’D LIKE TO SEE’, counts money*)

Today’s non-story? Harrison Ford would be “open” to returning as Han Solo. In other words, Harrison Ford is not allergic to money.

“Harrison is open to the idea of doing the movie and he’s upbeat about it, all three of them are,” said one highly placed source, referring to Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher, the trio that made a hyper-speed jump to global fame on May 25, 1977, the opening night for George Lucas’s original Star Wars film.

Who is this “highly-placed” source who happens to be BFFs with Ford, Hammill, and Carrie Fisher? Somehow I doubt those three are partying together on the weekends. Meanwhile, as even EW’s Geoff Boucher who broke the story, is quick to point out, Harrison Ford has long seemed not all that thrilled about Star Wars.

The actor, now 70, is plenty proud of Indy, Jack Ryan, John Book, and Dr. Richard Kimble but in the past he didn’t disguise his disdain for Solo. “As a character he was not so interesting to me,” the frosty Ford explained in an ABC interview in 2010.
As Ford told ABC in the same interview: “I thought he should have died in the last one to give it some bottom…George didn’t think there was any future in dead Han toys.” [...]
In the 29 years since the red carpet premiere of Return of the Jedi, Ford has declined hundreds  – if not thousands — of offers to appear at Star Wars events and cast reunions even the ones sanctioned and run by Lucasfilm. In fact, in all those years was only one offer he accepted: He attended a 30th anniversary screening of the The Empire Strikes Back in 2010 to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.
About 400 fans (including Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan, Jon Favreau, and Kevin Feige) paid $100-$175 each to hear Ford reflect on his Millennium Falcon days. I was the moderator for the event and the star arrived in a cheery mood but, after watching the film, he was weary of the crowd’s zeal for something he could never love.
“I don’t know that I understood it very well,” Ford said in a flat tone of the franchise’s ascension in popular culture. “I’m not sure I understand it yet…I was very happy to be involved. I was pleased to be a part of an ensemble.” [EntertainmentWeekly]

Back in 2010, Movieline even ran a piece called “Harrison Ford’s Long History of Hating Star Wars.”

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