Remember how James Franco was supposed to be working on a gang fight movie with Harmony Korine? Well apparently one of the gangs is made up of naked chicks. Two things: I hope that’s a picture of himself on the shirt.  And two, I hope those pole things he’s holding are instruments of pleasure. |animal via Buzzfeed {both NSFW}|

MORNING LINKS

Week In Review: Got An Elephant Problem? Go Daddy Will Solve It [UproxxNews]

WE INTERVIEWED PARRY GRIPP!  Listen to that sh-t.  |Frotcast|

Pam’s back tat on Archer was a Lord Byron poem. |WarmingGlow|

Here’s some new Doctor Who stuff, which I’ll continue to just nod and smile at when you guys talk about. |GammaSquad|

New ways to make lawn mowing fun [WithLeather]

A round-up of April Fool’s Day pranks.  Ahh, the most annoying day of the year. |TheDailyWhat|

Improv Everywhere actor gets beaten on a subway, though probably not really because it’s April Fool’s. That would’ve been cool though. |Buzzfeed|

Old dude loves Zeppelin. |GorillaMask|

The 10 Worst People Who Work In Your Office [Brobible]

A Gallery Of Classic Happy Meal Toys From McDonald’s [EgoTV]

Courtney Cox was all like “DURRR” and then her titty popped out. |WWTDD|

Lindsay Lohan snorting coke off the sidewalk. Or praying to Allah. Or being fall down drunk. |TheSuperficial|

15 sexy movie characters with pigtails. |ScreenJunkies|

Chick gets roughed up by the cops gif. |HolyTaco|

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My plan to get a PhD in James Franco studies from James Franco University is looking less attractive today after Franco was the second boredest guy at the Oscars last night (behind Tom Hanks).  But there’s news to cover and JAMES FRANCO NEEDS ATTENTION, DAMMIT!  The latest is that he’s supposedly working with batsh*t filmmaker Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) on a piece of “violent video art” that they hope will climax in a real knife fight between rival LA gangs.  A knife fight, eh?  Seems like it might be a step back for a guy who’s already watched gay dudes sword fight.

Our source said, “They are looking to film two actual street gangs doing a fight scene. [which they hope will climax in a gory battle at an iconic location such as the Griffith Observatory.] The twist is they want the two gangs to fight, using real knives. The production team is panicked that they’ll end up with blood, injuries and potentially dead bodies on set.”

Korine had been working on a video called “Fight Harm,” filmed by illusionist David Blaine, which included Korine engaging strangers in street fights in New York. But he was hospitalized after six fights and forced to abandon the project. He said in 2000, “I got a lot of bones broken, I was thrown in prison and I had really bad court costs.”

A Korine rep told us, “I can confirm that there is indeed a piece of video art in the works involving gang fights by James and Harmony,” but declined to comment further. [NYPost]

“You say your name’s ‘Harmony’?  That’s an interesting name, what do you do?”

“Fight strangers, mostly.”

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I always liked Netflix, mainly because they’re not Blockbuster.  On top of that, their business model was superior, they didn’t have late fees, and they had a great selection.  But according to the film’s distributor, Netflix is refusing to carry Harmony Korine’s Trash Humpers on the grounds that it’s “too inappropriate” for their subscribers.  Isn’t it awesome when a middle man suddenly starts acting like a taste maker?  Imagine your real estate agent refusing to sell you a house you want because it’s “inappropriate.”  NOT YOUR DEPARTMENT, F*CKFACE.

America’s video rental service of choice has all the previous Korine films – Mister Lonely, julien donkey-boy and Gummo. They offer the film he wrote the script for, Kids. They’re also making available the following films: Antichrist, Irreversible, Emmanuel in America, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and all the Jackass films. What do all these films have in common? They all feature more full-frontal nudity, on-screen sex, violence, rape and/or murder than is featured in Trash Humpers. [...]
From their perspective, they may be right: they certainly know their subscribers and their tastes, and might have a better awareness of their breaking point (we thought that might have been f*ckin’ Avatar). So it’s hard to fault them. But we do love a challenge! We don’t expect Netflix to carry anything they don’t want to, for whatever reason, but it reminds us that this is the price paid when we allow one entity to control the lion’s-share of content distribution. For a list of actual-factual mom-and-pop DVD sales-and/or-rental stores still fighting the good fight and carrying Trash Humpers for sale and/or rent, click here.  [Statement from Drag City via ThePlaylist]

You’ll be happy to learn, however, that they do still stock Taintlight. How is that on matters of “taste”, we always end up deferring to the stupidest people?  I’m a grown-ass man and I want to watch people hump trash, okay?  Thank God they’ve still got Rock of Love reruns, or else I don’t know what I’d do.

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At some point during Jackass 2 when Johnny Knoxville and Spike Jonze were terrorizing the neighborhood in old person makeup, I’m pretty sure I said, “Oh man, I could watch two hours of just this!”  Well, it sounds like Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) took that as a challenge on his latest, Trash Humpers, which plays this week at the Toronto Film Festival.

The movie apparently follows a group of elderly people (read: actors wearing old man make-up a la Jackass) who vandalize and terrorize everything around them. It is also partially a musical… go figure. [FilmJunk]

Harmony Korine is on a lifelong campaign to convince you that he’s weird, but after watching the trailer for his latest, I feel like Homer Simpson when he got his giant beer in the Australia episode.  I mean, I guess it was pretty weird.  It’s just that when I hear a movie called Trash Humpers, I expect there to be some GD trash humping.  This barely has trash foreplay.  These bait and switch tactics are the reason this country’s in the sh’tter.

ADDITIONALLY: I got a free personality profile from eHarmony Korine once. I didn’t get any dates, but a gay midget poisoned my cats.

This is the trailer for Mister Lonely, from Harmony Korine, the writer of Kids (when he was 22) and director of Gummo and Julien Donkey Boy. Korine makes movies that hipsters swear are amazing, but I’ve thus far avoided them on account of the whispery cheeseball voice overs in the trailers.

This one (which at least doesn’t look like it was shot on a butt cam) is about a Michael Jackson impersonator falling in love with a Marilyn Monroe imprersonator in a land of celebrity impersonators.  Whispery voice over quotes include:

You are the reason why I’m here.  You make this place beautiful.
There are miracles!  There are miracles to happen to everybody!
If you’re pure enough, you will fly.
A little faith can take us a long way.
You must stay strong, Michael.  Keep searching.
They’re all chasing a great dream.  They’re all looking for answers.  What they don’t realize is that they have found it already.  They have found it in one another.

I’m sure it will be an emotional tour de force, revolutionary in its subtlety (expository dialogue is way more subtler when you whisper).