“What have I told you about letting Peter Farrelly make movies?”
Opening Everywhere: Movie 43, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Parker. God help us, it’s January. God help us all.
FilmDrunk Suggests: I suggest that you sit down and buckle up, because someone cut the brake lines on the negative train and I’m about to crash this sucker into Cynic City, USA.
Guess which one’s an Oscar winner
With lots of new films hitting DVD today, there’s something for every discerning fan of cinema. Besides The Paperboy (pictured above) we’ve got new films with Jake Gyllenhaal, Patton Oswalt, Danny Trejo, and Olivia Thirlby. There’s films about universal soldiers, imposters, fat kids, phone-sex workers, and samurais. There’s warriors of witchcraft and witch’s brew, and even one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films.
The DVDs:
End Of Watch
The Paperboy
Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
Nature Calls
Death Race 3: Inferno
Searching For Sugar Man
For A Good Time, Call…
Nobody Walks
The Imposter
Officer Down
Tai Chi Zero
Fat Kid Rules The World
Hara-Kiri: Death Of A Samurai
Hansel & Gretel: Warriors Of Witchcraft
Night Of The Templar
Derby Dogs
Hold Your Breath
Dead Sushi
Witch’s Brew
Zombie Ed
Streaming: Check out your choices here.
Can’t remember which one of these films is an Oscar-nominee? Continue reading to find out. Want to know why nobody walks? Maybe it’s because fat kids rule the world, but you should continue reading just to be sure. If you don’t really care and just want something to stream on Netflix, click the link above, but you’ll be missing out on a movie that gets the Dove Seal of Approval, despite featuring attempted vehicular manslaughter and scenes of people being covered in human excrement. The choice is yours. Read the rest of this entry »
Not Pictured: His Frankenweenie. Sorry. I guess that headline’s a little misleading.
It’s a new year, and there’s plenty of new DVDs to discuss. Yes there’s Dredd and Frankenweenie, but there’s so much more. Almost all of this week’s offerings are movies you’ve never heard of starring people you have -assuming you’ve heard of people like Michael Weston and David Morse. Even if you don’t know those names, there’s films with Nicolas Cage, Gary Oldman, Kurt Russell, Anne Heche, Martin Sheen, Dakota Fanning, and Melissa Leo. We’ve got flicks about football players and priests, terminal cancer patients and musicians, lesbians and fast-food workers. There’s ghouls and witches, and WWII soldiers. There’s even a movie all about guns, girls, and gambling!
The DVDs:
Dredd
Frankenweenie
House At The End Of The Street
Hit & Run
Stolen
Guns, Girls, And Gambling
Touchback
That’s What She Said
Stella Days
Now Is Good
Brooklyn Brothers Beat The Best
Collaborator
Compliance
Excuse Me For Living
Jack & Diane
Ghoul
Hansel & Gretel
Pathfinders: In The Company Of Strangers
The Wise Kids
A Dangerous Place
Streaming: Check out your choices here.
Want to know which flick’s all about guns, girls, and gambling? Continue reading. At least one of these films features time travel. The only way to know which one (or ones) is to continue reading. Of course you can skip straight to the Netflix streaming suggestions by clicking the link above, but then you’d be breaking that New Year’s resolution you made about reading more things more often, and nobody wants to give up on their resolutions yet. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ll take pretty much any excuse I can to post this video, but today I have a good one: the writer/director behind Død Snø (the movie this clip comes from, which opens in 
Tommy Wirkola has an idea: “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.” Wirkola pitched Will Ferrell’s production company on the idea of exploring how things played out for the poor siblings 15 years after that whole gingerbread house incident. Simply put, they’re now specialized bounty hunters looking to put down the cackling black-hat set.
“The idea is, they’ve grown up and they hunt witches,” Adam McKay said. “It’s a hybrid sort of old-timey feeling, yet there’s pump-action shotguns. Modern technology but in an old style. We heard it and we were just like, ‘That’s a freakin’ franchise! You could make three of those!’” [Yahoo]
Okay, settle down, spaz. In the original, Hansel and Gretel burned the witch alive in an oven. But if I know anything about bounty hunters, it’s that the worst thing they do to anyone is shoot them with mace or paintball guns. Oh, and they hate black people. So basically, this is a modernized version of a germanic fairy tale in which the protagonists burn people in ovens and hate black people. Talk about The Reader all over again.
