Guess which one’s an Oscar winner

With lots of new films hitting DVD today, there’s something for every discerning fan of cinema.  Besides The Paperboy (pictured above) we’ve got new films with Jake Gyllenhaal, Patton Oswalt, Danny Trejo, and Olivia Thirlby.  There’s films about universal soldiers, imposters, fat kids, phone-sex workers, and samurais.  There’s warriors of witchcraft and witch’s brew, and even one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films.

The DVDs:
End Of Watch
The Paperboy
Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
Nature Calls
Death Race 3: Inferno
Searching For Sugar Man
For A Good Time, Call…
Nobody Walks
The Imposter
Officer Down
Tai Chi Zero
Fat Kid Rules The World
Hara-Kiri: Death Of A Samurai
Hansel & Gretel: Warriors Of Witchcraft
Night Of The Templar
Derby Dogs
Hold Your Breath
Dead Sushi
Witch’s Brew
Zombie Ed

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Can’t remember which one of these films is an Oscar-nominee?  Continue reading to find out.  Want to know why nobody walks?  Maybe it’s because fat kids rule the world, but you should continue reading just to be sure.  If you don’t really care and just want something to stream on Netflix, click the link above, but you’ll be missing out on a movie that gets the Dove Seal of Approval, despite featuring attempted vehicular manslaughter and scenes of people being covered in human excrement.  The choice is yours. Read the rest of this entry »

Not Pictured: His Frankenweenie. Sorry. I guess that headline’s a little misleading.

It’s a new year, and there’s plenty of new DVDs to discuss. Yes there’s Dredd and Frankenweenie, but there’s so much more. Almost all of this week’s offerings are movies you’ve never heard of starring people you have -assuming you’ve heard of people like Michael Weston and David Morse. Even if you don’t know those names, there’s films with Nicolas Cage, Gary Oldman, Kurt Russell, Anne Heche, Martin Sheen, Dakota Fanning, and Melissa Leo. We’ve got flicks about football players and priests, terminal cancer patients and musicians, lesbians and fast-food workers.  There’s ghouls and witches, and WWII soldiers.  There’s even a movie all about guns, girls, and gambling!

The DVDs:
Dredd
Frankenweenie
House At The End Of The Street
Hit & Run
Stolen
Guns, Girls, And Gambling
Touchback
That’s What She Said
Stella Days
Now Is Good
Brooklyn Brothers Beat The Best
Collaborator
Compliance
Excuse Me For Living
Jack & Diane
Ghoul
Hansel & Gretel
Pathfinders: In The Company Of Strangers
The Wise Kids
A Dangerous Place

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Want to know which flick’s all about guns, girls, and gambling?  Continue reading.  At least one of these films features time travel.  The only way to know which one (or ones) is to continue reading. Of course you can skip straight to the Netflix streaming suggestions by clicking the link above, but then you’d be breaking that New Year’s resolution you made about reading more things more often, and nobody wants to give up on their resolutions yet. Read the rest of this entry »

Michael Bay and his production company (not the one that makes crappy horror remakes) is set to produce a 3D, FX-driven action film based on Hansel and Gretel.  If that idea sounds familiar, it’s because Will Ferrell and Adam McKay announced they’d be teaming up with the Død Snø guys for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters about a year ago.  I wouldn’t worry, I’m sure this one will be much more generic.  From the press release [via ScreenJunkies]

“Hansel and Gretel in 3D” is an action packed visual FX filled version of the classic Grimm Brothers’ fairytale. In addition to the infamous witch in the gingerbread house, the film showcases the legendary creatures of German mythology. These Teutonic beings will be designed by Joseph C. Pepe, the lead character designer from Avatar. The film is live action. The movie is being produced by The Institute and Kalliope Films. The Institute was co-founded by Michael Bay and Scott Gardenhour.  The movie is scheduled for a spring 2011 shoot on location in Germany.

God I love press releases. “Hey, Marge, what’s another word for ‘German people’?  Ooh, ‘Teutonic beings’, that’s good.”  And if that wasn’t generic-sounding enough, check out The Insitute’s mission statement (also stunningly generic: it’s called ‘The Institute’):

Their unique model employs consumer engagement, marketing, production, financing, and distribution, resulting in marketing and entertainment products that correspond with consumer demand.

GRR, ACTION WORDS!  You see, it’s a unique business model. Because first, they attempt to get the attention of people who will buy stuff from them. Then, they spend money to produce stuff to sell. Then they ship those things to places where those people can buy them.  HOLY SH*T THIS IS A F*CKING GAME CHANGER!  MULTI-PLATFORM ANALOG AND E-COMMERCE INTERFACE BUSINESS SYNERJIZZING WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!  MAKE ME A POWER POINT PRESENTATION AT ONCE!

Conclusion: This movie is going to be awesome.