This is a Japanese zit cream commercial.  Impressive how much weirdness they can cram into 15 seconds. [ohhaveyouseenthis]

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Chodin’s second Uproxx contribution, TLC’s five most disturbing series. |Uproxx|
• Game over, man, game over.  The Bill Paxton pinball machine. |GammaSquad|
• Between two ferns with Zach Galifianakis — Ben Stiller. |WarmingGlow|
• Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi “get personal” at a charity event. |SmokingSection|
• Ron Washington likes cocaine. |WithLeather|
• Five gifs to cure your hangover. |TheChive|
• Common Facebook interests and what they really mean. |Guyism|
• “Cat Scan”.  That is all. |Urlesque|
• Why is John Cusack always in the rain? |InsideMovies|
• Emperor Palpatine is having way too good a time. |UnrealityMag|
• Play Holy Taco’s March Madness douchebag tournament. |HolyTaco|

Hangover Sun Bear says: “C’mon, just this once, could I not be a Sun Bear?  Frankly, I’m not even feeling like an Any-Type-Bright-Light Bear. Oh God, this is un-bear-able, seriously you guys.”

Well folks, it’s 2009 and sadly, you’re still you.  It’s also New Year’s Day so obviously I’m not working.  Instead, I hope you’ll enjoy the musical stylings of this hamster… on a piano… eating popcorn… on a piano.  This video is why the internet was created.

[Thanks, comedy.com]

The sci-fi remake I Am Legend was the number one film, grossing $76.5 million, per studio estimates compiled Sunday by Exhibitor Relations. The CGI-updated Alvin and the Chipmunks was a super-size number two, with a $45 million take. Fox was the studio that had been expecting a $20 million bow from Alvin and the Chipmunks, while Warners was the beneficiary of Smith’s biggest-ever opener.  [Yahoo/E! Online]

You know what that means, kiddies!  Expect more zombie flicks and creepy CGI adaptations.  I could quote reviews for Alvin to support my assumption that it sucks sloth nuts (moldy!), but the fact that the first trailer involved poop eating really says it all.  

Elsewhere, the Golden Globe-nominated Juno, pound for pound, theater for theater, put up the best numbers of the weekend, grossing $1.4 million ($2.2 million to date), and almost cracking the Top 10 on the strength of—not 1,000, not 100, not even 50—but 40 screens. By comparison, August Rush needed 2,007 theaters to cobble together a take of $1.8 million ($28.1 million overall) and nab a 10th place finish. 

And, since it may be January 4th before Juno gets released in some of the smaller markets, I have another three weeks to thumb my nose at the common folk as I ride by on my carriage (pulled by my high horse, of course).  Foolish peasants! Stuff your dirty faces with gruel if it pleases you.  Meanwhile, I shall dine on quail stuffed inside chicken stuffed inside pheasant stuffed inside turkey stuffed inside lamb stuffed inside beef.  You and I are practically different species!