Watching The Hangover Part II, it’s easy to see why intellectuals would hate Todd Phillips.  It’s an unnecessary sequel, half the jokes rely on outrageousness and nudity, there’s a monkey sidekick, gay panic jokes, stock characters galore, Thai scenery straight of the It’s-a-Small-World-After-All book of national stereotypes, and the whole enterprise is imbued with that Entouragey sense of boys being boys that snoots love to despise**. The reason Todd Phillips is a genius, however, is that even with the hackiest, most idiot-pandering setup in the world, he can still deliver a punchline that only the smarmiest of uptight dickweeds would refuse to laugh at.  Yes, monkey sidekicks are almost as overused a trope as amnesia, BUT OH MY GOD, IS THAT MONKEY WEARING A MINIATURE MOTORCYCLE HELMET WITH A BANANA ON IT?! I THINK I LOVE YOU, MOTORCYCLE MONKEY COKE-MULE!

The second installment moves the action from Vegas (one exec actually passed on the first Hangover when Phillips wouldn’t call it “What Happens in Vegas”) to Thailand, where dorky dentist Ed Helms is set to marry possibly cross-eyed, too-hot-and-young-for-him Jamie Chung (Sucker Punch), much to the chagrin of his future father-in-law, a disapproving Asian caricature (YOU BLING SHAME TO FAMIRRY, ROUND EYE!).  Before you know it, Helms and the boys have woken up in Bangkok not knowing how they got there (“It happened again!”), with a tattoo on Helms’ face and his 16-year-old brother-in-law Teddy (Stanford pre-med, cellist, apple of his father’s eye, played by Ang Lee’s son, Mason) missing. The setting is an upgrade, as is the Macguffin, the only clue as to Teddy’s whereabouts being his severed finger.  “Give it up, Bangkok has him now,” everyone tells them.  Whereas the foundation for the wackiness of the first Hangover was a yuppie who might not make it to his wedding, this time around, there’s an actual edge, a heart of darkness vibe that gives it more depth than just DUDE BRO WE HAD SUCH A CRAZY NIGHT DOZER PUNCHED A COP IT WAS SICK.

Read the rest of this entry »

Todd Phillips famously began an interview with Movieline last year by saying “this website is the worst, but go ahead,” and I’m happy to report that the Hangover/Old School director still grips it and rips it, lives life with a lot of flair, and generally keeps it real as sh*t. He recently sat for a video interview with David Poland which began much the same way, with Phillips carefully outlining the various ways in which Poland sucks, with Poland laughing along uncomfortably and trying unsuccessfully to make a joke out of it.  Some of the money quotes:

“Let’s do it.  It’s going to be aggressive because I’m not a fan of Poland’s or the site.”

“I will say, having read your site here and there, you might be the worst box office prognosticator on the planet Earth, let alone that has a website. Literally.  You are wrong 99% of the time.”

“You have this bizarre attitude that you know things about the business.”

“And I’m only talking numbers because I know you love to talk numbers on your site, but you are out of control wrong all the time.”

“Yes, there is a bit of revenge in making the movie, particularly with people like you.”

“Yes, sure I think this movie is going to do well overseas, but more specifically, I think I remember you telling me before the [Hangover One press tour] interview started, saying, you know, ‘Warner Brothers has this idea that your movie’s going to do $100 million, and no offense, it’s a good movie, but I see it topping out at $60 or $70, but there is a limit on an R-rated comedy with no stars…’  AND, you went on to tell me, ‘and by the way, I saw Land of the Lost, and it’s a pretty good movie…’ and you started telling me how brilliant Land of the Lost was.  Which I didn’t like, and I love Will Ferrell and I love Brad Silverman, I’m not being a hater — and you trying to antagonize me saying it was a bad idea to open against Land of the Lost.  Cut to, we do $45 million on the weekend.  You thought we were going to do $60 TOTAL.”

“You told me to my face, and I was okay with it, that Land of the Lost was a superior film.  And I defy you to find three people that agree with you on that.”

“I did visit your site the other day, and I don’t know what you did, but it looks horrible.  What happened?”

(*towels off, lights cigarette*)  Oh man.  That is some good schadenfreude.  Nothing against David Poland specifically — I’ve heard his name, but I’m not familiar enough with his site to have any specific beefs (unlike, say, Nikki Finke, who seems like the kuntiest human alive, or Pete Hammond, whose transparent shilling is an insult to anyone who’d actually read his columns) — but it’s always nice to see movie bloggers get sh*t on.  In general, we’re terrible people.  And the worst are the self-appointed experts who are so good at self-promotion that they can fool people into forgetting that they don’t actually have any credentials and are almost never right, much like Mel Kiper does for sports.  Do you realize Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is STILL tracking 77% recommended on RottenTomatoes?  SEVENTY-F*CKING SEVEN PERCENT. MORE THAN THREE-FOURTHS OF SO-CALLED FILM EXPERTS ADMITTED LIKING THAT MOVIE. Go ahead and read the reviews, I promise they weren’t being satirical.  Thank God for people like Todd Phillips.  He wasn’t mean, he wasn’t vindictive, just smart enough to realize that the whore blowing him might not actually care about his family.  My God, he’s almost cool enough to make me question my policy on guys named “Todd.”

"I'll f*ck you and your dog until you love me, Dr. Fagg*t."

Three weeks ago, the man who gave Mike Tyson his infamous, er, iconic face tattoo had filed suit against the producers of The Hangover II, asking for an injunction to stop the film’s release, scheduled for this Thursday. The original complaint read in part:

“When Mr. [S. Victor] Whitmill created the Original Tattoo, Mr Tyson agreed that Mr. Whitmill would own the artwork and thus, the copyright in the Original Tattoo,” argues the complaint. “Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. — without attempting to contact Mr. Whitmill, obtain his permission, or credit his creation — has copied Mr. Whitmill’s Original Tattoo and placed it on the face of another actor … This unauthorized exploitation of the Original Tattoo constitutes copyright infringement.”

Now you’ll never believe this next part, but it seems a multi-billion dollar corporation can afford better lawyers than a guy who makes his living giving tribal face tattoos.

A St. Louis judge just ruled against  Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist’s request for an injunction, allowing The Hangover 2 to be released as scheduled on Thursday. [Deadline]

The case, however, isn’t over, this just means the judge won’t block the release. (If they resolved these things quickly, the lawyers couldn’t get paid so much).  Whitmill is still asking for $30 million in damages, and the judge even said he had a “strong likelihood of ultimately succeeding.”

Read the rest of this entry »

MONKEY IN A DRESS! MONKEY IN A DRESS!

A monkey in a dress stole the show at last night’s Hangover 2 premiere in Hollywood, which is a fine metaphor for all movie premieres.  If the world does end tomorrow, this is probably how I deserve to be remembered: giggling at a monkey wearing a dress, trying to think of a pearl-necklace joke.  Pictures come courtesy of the Daily Mail, where I found this, perhaps the finest line in the history of journalism:

“But it wasn’t Crystal’s outfit that stole the show at the premiere of the Hangover 2 last night, but the fact she’s a monkey.”

Game over, man, game over.

Holy. Sh*t. Quick, someone put that monkey over a vent that blows her skirt up.

This is the essence of every Hollywood movie premiere.  “DANCE MONKEY! SHOW US YOUR DRESS!”

If they started doing inter-species versions of “Who wore it best” I would read the sh*t out of US Weekly.

“Oh hey, girl.  Yeah, it’s Dolce & Banana.”

[thanks, Chino]

“Try to snap one her getting out of cab!  See if you can get a shot of her monkey fufu!”

"Uh, I'm here for the gangbang?"

Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. was there.  I think he stole Mickey Rourke’s outfit.  Nice boots, brah.  He must’ve tucked the pants into them to keep out the monkeys.  (*taps temple with index finger*)  Smart.

[DailyMail]

Things have obviously been a little crazy around here this week, what with all of the Gloria Allreds of the Interwebs putting a bounty on Vince’s testicles. That’s why I thought a great way to turn the page and start fresh would be to offer up a little peace treaty to all you intelligent, classy broads out there. In fact, even as our beloved Chodin has been away on assignment on Fire Island, he still found time to whisper in my ear from behind that we should give the ladies some eye candy to show that FilmDrunk isn’t a sexist haven for the web’s derelicts.

With that said, there’s no better way to say, “I respect females” than by giving them a gallery of the upcoming summer’s hottest movie bulges. An action hero isn’t an action hero if he doesn’t have a divine codpiece or some sort of crotchal decoration that screams, “This crotch belongs to a mother f*cking star!” And this summer is full of decorated crotches, so we hope that you ladies – and movie codpiece enthusiast men – enjoy this little trivia challenge that we’ve put together for you.

See if you can score 100 and become a Divine FilmDrunk Crotch Hound…

Read the rest of this entry »