A few days ago, a judge threw out a suit by an EOD soldier against the makers of The Hurt Locker, saying that the film version of the guy was different enough to be “transformative,” and refuting the guy’s assertion that the film had somehow slandered his reputation. But since Hurt Locker writer Mark Boal had been embedded with the plaintiff’s unit (hehehehe…), the suit at least made sense. Today, we learned of Michael Alan Rubin, a California man who is suing the makers of The Hangover II, who he’s never met, saying they stole his life story. Because that makes sense. What kind of lawyer would even take this case?

Rubin is representing himself in the case…

Ahh, it’s all becoming clear…

According Rubin’s federal lawsuit, filed last week in Calfornia, he married a Japanese woman named Tamayo in 2007 in Japan. Together, the couple honeymooned in Thailand and India where differences started arising over Rubin’s financial condition. During the honeymoon trip, Tamayo refused to share a hotel room with the luckless plaintiff.

In India, Rubin says he met a Bollywood producer who gave him work as a leading actor on several films. At which point, Rubin wanted to turn his experience with Tamayo into a feature film, so he wrote a script entitled Mickey and Kirin and allegedly deposited a copy with the Writers Guild of America. He later heard from a Hollywood friend about Hangover II, the story of some Asian misadventures by Americans on the road to a wedding.

“The production of Hangover 2 is not a complete ‘literary’ or ‘artistic’ works of the Hangover Defendants as credited in Hangover 2,” says the complaint. “In fact, the production of Hangover 2 was a result of infringement of the Plaintiff’s treatment ‘Mickey and Kirin’ and exploitation of the private real life of Plaintiff in an insulting manner.” [THR]

“First they stole my life story verbatim! Then they insulted me by changing all of the events and details! And your honor, may it please the court, I’d like to ask that the jurors cover their heads in tinfoil to keep from being influenced by my neighbor’s parrot, who’s always had it in for me, and can change people’s thoughts. He’s very sneaky.”

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Warner Bros has settled its $30 million lawsuit by Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist. meaning they won’t have to digitally scrub Ed Helms’ face for the DVD version (meanwhile, the football team will still be “digitally scrubbing” your sister’s pussy under the bleachers this Friday). When the artist, S. Victor Whitmill, sued back in May, it seemed like a typical case of a guy who suffered no damages looking for a paycheck, and probably was.  However, it was interesting in that Whitmill had taken the unusual step of copyrighting the tattoo. When WB didn’t pay Whitmill after the tattoo appeared in the first movie, he had no case, presumably because Tyson had already paid Whitmill for the use of his work on Tyson’s body, and WB wasn’t required to make a second, separate agreement for the tattoo.  But in the second movie, when they put the same tattoo on Ed Helms, that would require an agreement about compensation, barring some kind of fair use argument.  Of course, now we’ll never get to see how that case plays out, because WB figured it was just easier to throw money at it to make it go away like one of your sister’s abortions.

Terms of the settlment were not disclosed. When asked for comment, Whitmill attorney Geoff Gerber provided THR the following statement: “Warner Bros. and Mr. Whitmill have amicably resolved their dispute. No other information will be provided.”
Warners attorneys must have been concerned that Judge Perry suggested she saw merit in the case, even referring to the studio’s defenses as “silly.” In subsequent court filings, Warners said that it planned to digitally alter the tattoo for the home video version of the film if the case didn’t settle quickly.  And now it has. A notice of dismissal is expected to be filed shortly. [THR]

No one knows how much he got paid, but considering the Hangover II has grossed more than $500 million worldwide, it was almost certainly more money than I’ll make this year.  Perfect. Next thing you know, gilded butterflies will be coming out of the woodwork every time Megan Fox makes a movie.

If you’ll remember, Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist, S. Victor Whitmill (a tattoo artist with an initial for a name, I wonder if he works with a monocle), sued Warner Bros over Ed Helms’ Hangover II tat at the beginning of May.  A few weeks later, a judge denied the artist’s request for an injunction to stop the film from being released, but allowed the suit to go forward.  Now the judge has set a trial date for February 2012, even though the DVD comes out in December. Warner Bros. may have to take out the tattoo digitally for the DVD, but only because they basically volunteered to do that to postpone the trial.

Whitmill and his lawyers at St. Louis’ Brickhouse Law Group had sought a trial in August. But Warners, in opposing that extremely expedited schedule, submitted court documents arguing that such a quick resolution wasn’t necessary because the studio plans to whitewash the offending mark from the movie after its theatrical run, thus eliminating any further alleged damages to Whitmill from his copyrighted tattoo appearing in the film.
Warner Bros. got its wish, with Judge Perry declining to set a trial date in August. But a February trial, after the planned DVD release, would require the studio to spend big to remove the tattoo from all the offending Helms scenes. From our recollection, he’s got the tattoo in pretty much every scene after the 20-minute mark or so; we don’t envy the special effects wizard charged with scrubbing the mark from each frame.
As we’ve said from the beginning, this case is probably headed for settlement way before trial. To that end, Judge Perry has scheduled a private mediation for June 16. Hopefully both sides can work out a resolution. [THR]

Jesus, did anyone else fall asleep reading that?  Court sucks. Lawyers suck.  How long could it possibly take to learn all the facts here?  This guy made a tattoo.  Warner used it in a movie. This case has a judge, right?  Make a goddamned decision already.  If I wanted to hear six months of “on the one hand, on the other hand” I’d watch CNN.

"Chill out, dude, it's just a cliché."

The Hangover II rode its monkey to the highest-grossing opening weekend ever for a live-action comedy ($86 million from Friday to Sunday), earning $137.5 million in five days, and contributing to a best-ever Memorial Day weekend for the film industry (list of highest-grossing Memorial Day openings after the jump).  With an $80 million budget and probably double that including marketing, Hangover 2 is well on its way to earning “a buttload” (as the analysts say).  Hey, anyone who watches Community could tell you that Annie’s Boobs is a real crowd-pleaser.

Meanwhile, Kung Fu Panda 2, with a $150 million budget, was a moderate disappointment, grossing $47.8 million from Friday to Sunday and $68m total.  Good numbers, but less than the first one. Luckily, Jack Black has to be used to disappointments by now, as are my parents.

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WEEKEND MOVIE GUIDE: If you’re looking to squander this fine holiday weekend inside, you’ve got The Hangover Part II, Kung Fu Panda 2, and Tree of Life: Electric Boogaloo (in some locations). One second… okay, I’m being told Tree of Life is not actually a sequel. Sorry for the confusion.

THE HANGOVER PART II: Some dudes wake up in Thailand, and you’ll never believe this, but some wacky stuff happens.

RottenTomatoes: 34%

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Somebody must have roofied me. I left The Hangover Part II feeling dazed and abused, wondering how bad things happened to such a good comedy.” -Peter Travers

“In Roseanne Barr’s recent exposé of TV culture, she got to the core of this dishonesty by cutting through the media’s hypocrisy about Charlie Sheen’s meltdown. Barr dared to describe his TV series Two and a Half Men as the first TV show about a john. That’s the same lowlife behavior that The Hangover movies salute; they come from the same Hollywood sewer. Phillips and Galifianakis pretend that without a steadying, accountable presence, The Hangover Part II is satire. Fact is, it’s unrepentant indulgence.” -Armond White

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