You’d think the rights to Terminator could be bought for cheap considering the last film made $380M and the rights holder, Halcyon, still went bankrupt.  But you’d be wrong.  Because you used logic, classic mistake.  Anyway, as of yesterday, Sony and Lionsgate had teamed up to acquire the rights, with a plan for “a complete re-boot, back to basics, with real emotional stories, and effects that will be secondary.”  Instead…

Sony and Lionsgate dropped out at just under $29.5 million when it became clear that Santa Barbara-based hedge fund Pacificor “was willing to pay almost any amount of money for Terminator.” [DHD]

Part of the reason Halcyon went bankrupt was because they owed this hedge fund Pacificor a bunch of money, and as part of the deal, Pacificor is erasing that debt as well as paying off Halcyon’s other creditors.  No one knows what Pacificor plans to do with the franchise, but if I know anything about finance, it’s that hedges are really expensive to maintain.  Why, obtaining one must be nearly as difficult as finding… a shrubbery! Ni!  Ni! God I’m a dork.

(Least sexy shoe-cam photo ever.)

Terminator Salvation wasn’t the worst movie in the world.  It had some cool action sequences, but it followed them up with Christian Bale yelling for no apparent reason and a final 15 minutes that challenged the last 15 of Indy 4 for dumbest ever.  When I saw it I got so mad I punched the wall and lava came out.  Now Halcyon has filed for bankruptcy and is selling the franchise.  Problem is, no one wants to buy.  But that didn’t stop McG from planning two more movies.  He made the comments during a special event in which people who bought the Blu-ray could listen to live commentary from McG.  Sadly we don’t have the transcript, just a pretty great live blog from Gizmodo.  Poor McG.  He seems like a good guy who’s just a little too stupid for his own good.  He’s like the friend who really wants to be in your band, and you’d totally let him, only he can’t play an instrument and keeps drooling on the tambourine.  Also, he seems strangely cocky.  McG, I mean.

6:55: McG just compared his movie to The Dark Knight.

6:57: Audience question: how do you feel about making the horrible Charlie’s Angels films?

6:57: McG: “I really like those movies. If you don’t like them you can f-ck off.” [He later added, 'You're stupid and ugly and this is all just a defense mechanism.' -Ed]

6:59: “I want feedback from the audience if you want another movie or not?”

7:00: From the comments the director’s making, it seems like McG isn’t really a fan of subtlety. I don’t want to get too negative or anything…but yeah. [Editor's note: think of this as foreshadowing.]

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After already changing hands a bunch of times, the rights to the Terminator franchise were bought by Halcyon (Derek Anderson and Victor Kubicek) in 2007 for $25 million.  They subsequently released Terminator Salvation this year, but despite the film earning $371 million worldwide, Halcyon is in bankruptcy court owing creditors between $4 and $32 million.  Since the rights to the Terminator franchise are their only asset, they’re selling them, and they want $60 million.

“We’re going to be contacting a variety of studios and independent companies,” said Kevin Shultz, senior managing director at FTI. “We think the values are considerably in excess of the purchase price.”

In a previous bankruptcy court filing, Anderson claimed that the Terminator rights are now worth more than $60 million, more than double what he and Kubicek paid. Shultz said his firm will conduct its own analysis. Such valuations, which are based on forthcoming cash flow from “Salvation,” which has yet to be released on DVD, as well as potential further sequels, can vary widely because the performance of future films is so difficult to predict. [LA Times]

If someone pays $60 million for the rights — which they probably won’t — but if they pay anywhere near that, it’s hard to imagine they’d spend that much unless they were planning to make another Terminator movie.  (Then again, it’s hard to imagine someone paying $25 million for the rights, making a movie that earns almost $400 million, and still ending up bankrupt, but that’s another story).  I can only hope Fox buys the rights and hires Randi Mayem Singer to write the script.  In a world, where John Connor is raised by an African-American family, one straitlaced robot will learn how to loosen up, and one community will be turned upside down. Starring Sinbad, Duane the Rock Johnson, and Channing Tatum.  Terminator 5: I’ll be Black.  Opens Judgement Day, August 29th 2011.