^{I have this wallpaper.  Not on my computer, on the inside of my van.}

Hack of all hacks Adam Shankman recently spoke to Collider about his upcoming third Step Up movie.  He revealed that the sequel to Step Up 2 the Streets will be called… *drumroll* …Step Up 3-D.  *fart sound*

“We were blown away with the tests we just did (for Step Up 3D). Seeing the dance in 3D, and an arm coming out and flips that are going by your head. It was such an incredible experience.”  Since he sounded excited about the footage he saw, I then asked if he would consider doing Hairspray 2 in 3D. He said, “Yeah, that would be cool in 3D because it has a pop-sensibility. 3D should be regulated [sic] to things with a pop-sensibility because that’s the experience you want from those kinds of films. Anything you really want to think about, you don’t want to see in 3D.”

Reached for comment, Paul McCartney said, “Oh, so ‘pop-sensibility’ means ‘by and for stupid people’ now?  That’s cool.  I guess I’ll just go f*ck myself.”

A lot of people don’t realize that Hairspray was a John Waters movie before it was a broadway show before it was a creepy John Travolta abortion. And although John Waters’ movies aren’t all masterpieces, they’re rarely boring.  Anyway, Waters wrote a treatment for a sequel (to the remake) that sounds kind of cool, but remake director Adam Shankman apparently has veto power.  And why not?  He knows lots about writing scripts.  He is after all a choreographer who directed The Pacifier.

“It’s crazy,” Shankman laughed. “[The treatment] is amazing, but it’s crazy. There are things in there that I was like ‘Can we do that?’ It’s real John Waters-y stuff, and it was more like a sequel to his movie than to our movie. Which I love, because then that becomes re-interpreted.” Shankman admitted that while Waters does indeed want squeaky-clean Zac Efron to take acid (“or something like that”), the director will likely yank out that controversial story detail before they go to script. “I think that’s probably part of the treatment that won’t get used. That’s the kind of stuff where you’re like: ‘Yeah, I don’t know if that’s going to work.’”

The director did say, however, that he’ll most likely keep John Travolta’s weight-loss storyline. “It has Edna getting hooked on diet pills,” he said of the parts he liked about Waters’ treatment, including a possible title. “Let’s put it this way: It’s called ‘Hairspray 2: White Lipstick.’ [That’s a] butch title. That’s what the treatment was called!” [MTV]

OMG, everything’s outrageous when you lack the capacity for creative thought! At first I read some crazy stuff in the treatment that was so crazy that I had to text John Waters OMG your crazy I wrote.  I mean some of the stuff was great, but I kept having to ask myself, ‘It’s good, but is it watered down and shitty enough to be a Shankman joint??  And then I’m like when do they get to the dancing LOL!’