Nikki Blonsky, sassy sugar dumplin of pure cheerfulness and star of Adam Shankman’s unwatchable* hit film Hairspray, went on to guest roles on various shows, eventually toplining an ultimately-failed weight-loss camp comedy for ABC Family, Huge. But now she has a new gig: selling shoes.

Here’s the story, from a Perez Hilton post where literally every sentence that’s not a direct quote ends in an exclamation point. Seriously. Every. Single. Sentence. So much energy, that guy! He must be a delight, and not at all punchable.

Apparently, the actress has taken a hiatus from the entertainment business…to work behind the register at a high-end shoe boutique in Great Neck, NY called Steven Dann!
According to sources:
“Steven says she’s one of the best employees he’s ever had! Nikki had known Steven for a long time. When she started her career she got shoes, bags and accessories from the store for red carpets but recently approached him about working at the store. So it was done. Customers come in and see her and ask, ‘Oh my God! What are you doing here? Are you shopping?’, and she laughs and says, ‘No, I’m working!’ It’s a little uncomfortable for [Nikki] obviously, but the customer will ask her to sign her autograph on the receipt and she does. She’s really sweet to the little kids that come in the store. She even sings and dances for the customers, busting out the tunes from Hairspray! She’s supposedly working on a project that will catapult her career, something bigger than Hairspray.” [PerezHilton]

Now I know, “selling shoes in Great Neck, New York” sounds like one of the stories Verbal Kint would’ve told in Usual Suspects, but let’s not start writing sad articles about how cruel Hollywood can be just yet. Lots of us would kill for a cushy, decent-paying gig like selling high-end shoes. Don’t act like it’s some huge decline. Besides, Al Bundy once scored four touchdowns in a single game, you know.

*I can barely stand to look at the stills, I can only imagine what the full movie is like.

Between John Travolta playing a terrifying six-foot tranny and stumpy smile factory Nikki Blonsky playing his four-foot daughter, Hairspray creeps me out more than Christian Slater’s forehead and little kids with speech impediments combined.  In a recent interview with MTV, Queen Latifah revealed that they were planning a sequel, because God hates me.

“I got a secret e-mail about that recently,” the Queen has revealed to us, insisting that her character of Motormouth Maybelle is in for a comeback alongside co-stars John Travolta, Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes and others.

“I don’t know what he’s writing or what the concept is,” added Latifah, likely referring to [original Hairspray director] John Waters or director Adam Shankman. “But I’m glad they’re doing another ‘Hairspray,’ and I’m glad he’s writing it.”

So… we don’t know who’s writing it, what it will be about, or who the director is?  Good work, MTV.  All we know is that it’s being made, and we’re basing that on Queen Latifah?  I heard she isn’t even a real Queen!  Though, on an unrelated note, her name is an anagram for “Anal Queef Hit”.

From an article entitled, "’Hairspray’ director to Travolta foes: you’re grumpy!":

On the eve of the DVD release for hit musical Hairspray, director Adam Shankman has some advice for moviegoers who stayed away from theaters because they dared not dream of John Travolta playing a woman.  Shankman’s advice: quit being such grumps.

"It’s a shame because they were missing out on something that was going to give them a shot in their day," Shankman told Reuters.  "It was an awfully grumpy and surly attitude."

He’s right.  It’s silly to avoid Hairspray because Travolta in drag is creepy. Especially when there are so many other valid reasons.   Like the fact that Shankman’s last three films were Cheaper by the Dozen 2, The Pacifier, and Bringing Down the House, for instance.  Or that it was a film based on a play based on a film.  Still, I’ll be the first to admit that if I was one of the seven dwarves, I’d be Surly.  And if I was one of the three stooges, we’d be Larry, Moe, and Surly.  And if I was a Donovan song, I’d be "Surly-Burly Man".  And if I was a 1991 John Hughes movie starring Jim Belushi, I’d be Surly Sue.  And if I were an aging actress who believed in reincarnation, i’d be Surly Maclaine.  And if I were a proverb, I’d be "The Surly Bird Gets the Worm."  And if I were Patricia Arquette’s character in True Romance, I’d be Alabama Surly.  And – [those responsible have been sacked.]

I also like how the Reuters headline writers tried to make him look extra fruity.