Entertainment Tonight has been hard at work this week, sending not one, but two of their trained seals to the set of Iron Man 2, where they asked the stars the tough questions, like “How’s your diet going?” and “Why come you’re so pretty?” (There’s briefly a cool part at the 56-second mark where Whiplash cuts a Rolls Royce in half with his whips). They didn’t talk to Mickey Rourke, probably because if E.T. anchors get dog fur on their clothes they melt like the wicked witch, but they spent plenty of time with Gwyneth Paltrow, who we see as the only person on the set breathing into a gas mask. Probably because her lungs are more important than yours, they live in England, you know. She also had this to say:
“Pepper’s evolving a little bit in her look, you know, but she’s still rocking all the high heels. I can’t believe that I can put on a bathing suit, or wear these costumes that are tiny and short or whatever, and still feel good about myself!”
It’s true, Gwyneth, you’re so amazing! Come on, everyone, let’s build a Paltrow monument that you can see from space! It’s almost as if she has all day to exercise and have private chefs cook her healthy food while immigrants take care of her kids or something. Anyway, ScreenRant has a nice, spoilery breakdown of what clues to the Iron Man 2 plot this video may have revealed. You know, if you’re some kind of Schloimo Dorkowicz.
Robert Downey and Sam Jackson on the set of Iron Man 2. Oh I know, I was as excited as you are. |via FilmSchoolRejects|
Sam Jackson set to play a pirate negotiator. Said the actor “Why won’t these muthaf*ckin pirates, give my back my muthaf*ckin’ boat!” |Variety|
American Apparel CEO denies trying to smear Woody Allen. “I have deep respect for Mr. Allen who is a source of inspiration to me,” he insists. “The billboards and images from the Annie Hall movie were intended to be a parody/social statement and comedic satire to provoke discussion and public discourse about the baseless claims that had been made against American Apparel and myself, society’s reaction to lawsuits that delve into an individual’s private sexual life and the media’s sensationalism of such matters.” He’s totally right. As soon as I saw the billboard I said, “Hey guys, did you see that picture of Woody Allen with a beard? It’s funny because the American Apparel guy is innocent.” |Yahoo|
Jason Statham officially onboard for remake of Charles Bronson’s The Mechanic. Said the Stath “Oi, oy reckon after aw dis toime droivin’ round in flash sazz wagons, it wis about toime Da Stafe learnt ‘ow to fix ‘em, donnit.” |Empire|
Iron Man 2 to feature Gwyneth Paltrow in a dominatrix outfit. I guess that works, she’s clearly a ballbuster. I mean, she’s married to the guy from Coldplay, no one who still had his balls could make music like that. |Comicbookmovie|
Mickey Carroll, the last surviving Wizard of Oz munchkin dead at 85. Rest in peace, little guy. |source|
Director of Saw and Repo the Genetic Opera remaking Troma’s Mother’s Day. I can’t wait to avoid anyone who’s excited about this. |Variety|
Megan Fox promises not to be like that showboatin’ bitch Scarlett Johansson. I say we settle this via naked cat fight. Or by seeing who can go the longest without talking.. |People|
New posters for Transformers (via Yahoo), Inglourious Basterds, District 9 (via Yahoo), and Antichrist (via Horror.ca).
In Two Lovers, Joaquin Phoenix is caught in a love triangle between Gwyneth Paltrow and Vinessa Shaw. Must be an Isosceles triangle, youknowwhatahmsayin? *holds up fist, looks around for math pound*
As you can see, Vinessa Shaw is pretty hot in spite of her annoying misspelled name. Alternate title for this movie? It’s So Hard to Say Bye Good.
Why yes, making this picture was a waste of time, thank you for noticing
Gwyneth Paltrow told the press recently that she’s taken it upon herself to console her fellow pretentious fake Brit Madonna after her break up with Guy Ritchie.
“She’s a very good friend. I’m supporting her in all the ways that I can. I’m just there for her. I speak to her a lot,” Paltrow said as she attended the premiere of her film “Two Lovers” at London’s Film Festival.
Like Madonna, Paltrow — who’s married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin — lives partly in London. [AP]
Paltrow added, “Cor blimey, Madge, oy wiz roight knackered ta hear aboutcha split wiff da mista. Oy wiz loike, ‘Oy, ah you takin da piss?’ But fock’n hell, oy knoiw what it’s loike whin a bloke leaves. Feels loike ya fell doon a lift and got knobbed by a lorrie, innit? Hahd ta cope whin everyfing goes pear shaped, ‘specially ahfter yous stahted out arse ova tits fer each ovvas. But ‘ey, bish bash bosh, Bob’s your uncle, dis loife don git any easier, does it? Just keep a stiff uppa lip an troy not ta let any bum fodder cockups burgle ya dosh, d’ya know what oy mean?”
Seconds later, a shirtless JASON STATHAM crashed through a plate glass window, punched the crap out of everyone, and did a million pull ups.
From the Wondercon convention in San Francisco, this is the newest poster for Iron Man, directed by Jon Favreau and starring Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, and Gwyneth Paltrow.
It features the Iron Man helmet in three different incarnations. I’m hoping Paltrow has one of these on for the duration of the movie.
