So Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movie has a poster now. Here it is. Tagline: “Holmes for the holiday.” Ha, get it? It’s cute ’cause it’s stupid, like a dog that falls down. Speaking of dogs, I would hug the sh-t out of that bulldog up there.
[via Cinematical]
This new, longer trailer for Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes showed up on YouTube this morning, but there’s nothing I hate more than a YouTube video with the embedding disabled, so I waited for someone else to rip it and now I’m using that. Oh I’m sorry, was I boring you with details? God forbid you actually take an interest in how my day was.
I thought the old cut of the trailer looked more promising, where Robert Downey takes a puff on his pipe and immediately jumps out of a window. In this one, they show him running across the room and commando rolling first, and it seems less goofy and slapstick and more “serious action movie.” But aside from that, and the generic-action-epic music, it still looks mostly comedic. Which is the right direction when you’re dealing with Robert Downey Jr. beating people up with a cane. I remain cautiously optimistic. But I swear to God the first person to call it a “bromance” movie is getting punched in the throat.
(The first rule of gay fight club? You don’t even wanna know, dude.)
Sherlock Holmes, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, comes out Christmas Day. I’m cautiously optimistic — it could be good, or it could be sort of meh, like Guy Ritchie’s body of work since Snatch. But that’s the thing about Hollywood: they don’t even wait for the goose to lay the golden egg before they start pumping it full of hormones and jamming a shoehorn up its ass* nowadays.
Three months ahead of the release of its Robert Downey Jr. action pic, Warners is developing a new installment. The studio is poised to bring on Kieran and Michele Mulroney, the scribes who are penning its “Justice League: Mortal” [barf] tentpole, to pen a draft of the new tale. Brad Pitt has had discussions with producers to star as Holmes’ nemesis Moriarty in the new pic, say people familiar with the project, though there is no deal in place for him to take the part.
Guy Ritchie helms the pic, and Downey stars as the title character; Jude Law plays protege Watson, and Rachel McAdams stars as love interest Irene Adler. Much of the talent is expected to return in the new pic, as could Ritchie as director. [THR]
“Is expected…” “Could return” — these are the key words. Basically, the studio thinks Sherlock Holmes is going to do well, so they want to make sequel. But getting the cast and director locked down is a complicated process with lots of negotiation about salary and scheduling and stuff. So they’re starting the process early, by paying two guys who had nothing to do with the original script a lot of money to write a script for the sequel, which they’re probably going to throw out and re-write as soon as Ritchie and the rest are locked down and they bring in writers they like. But as they say in Hollywood, you gotta piss money down the toilet for no reason to make money.
*a butthorn?
Guy Ritchie has agreed to direct a film adaptation of the DC Comic Lobo for Warner Bros, which is interesting, because if I were him, I’d be down at the print shop making business cards that said “Director of Snatch.” Anyway, apparently the character was originally meant to be a parody, though it’s unclear whether the film will be. From Wiki:
An alien, Lobo works as an interstellar mercenary and bounty hunter. Although introduced as a hardened, rarely-used noir villain in the 1980s, he languished in limbo until his revival as an anti-hero biker in the early 1990s. The character enjoyed a short run as one of DC’s most popular characters throughout the 1990s. This version of Lobo was intended to be an over-the-top parody of Marvel Comics superhero Wolverine. “I have no idea why Lobo took off,” [co-creator Keith] Giffen once said in an interview. Referring to the 1990s incarnation of Lobo he created, he said, “I came up with him as an indictment of the Punisher, Wolverine, hero prototype and somehow he caught on as the high violence poster boy. Go figure.”
Today in pointless speculation news, the New York Post wonders whether Robert Downey Jr.’s newer, ‘gayer’ Sherlock Holmes will have an effect on its box office gross. Wait, what?
Downey has revealed the crimebuster will sleep with and have sweaty grappling scenes with Watson, played by Jude Law, in “Sherlock Holmes,” due out Christmas Day.
“We’re two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s bad-ass,” Downey told Britain’s News of the World. Added Law: “Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.”
But Michael Medved, a former Post movie critic, says Downey and Law must be joking. “I think they’re just trying to generate controversy . . . They know that making Holmes and Watson homosexual will take away two-thirds of their box office.” Medved told us. “There’s not a seething, bubbling hunger to see straight stars impersonating homosexuals.” [NYPost]
Medved added, “There isn’t a greasy, throbbing desire for all this gay stuff thickening inside anyone’s jeans, okay? There aren’t beads of yearning for it running down the crack of anyone’s ass in the male-only steam room. I don’t have a secret passion for it on the weekends that I keep from my wife and kids. Trust me on this one, I’m not gay. I mean, uh, Sherlock Holmes is gay? That’s gross.”
