Wherefore art thou, Ally Sheedy?

If I want to see a modern take on 1986′s Short Circuit, I’ll just watch Wall E again (the definitive “cute robot” story). But where we see progress, Hollywood sees remake potential, which is why they’ve been working on a Short Circuit “reboot” (THAT’S NOT A REAL THING! STOP ACTING LIKE IT’S A REAL THING!) since 2008. The latest news is that the director of Hop and Alvin and the Chipmunks is in negotiations to direct, which should be great, because the first Alvin teaser opened with a chipmunk putting a turd in its mouth (seriously, it did). Can robots fart? Well they can now.

Dimension Films is making a deal with Tim Hill to direct its reboot of Short Circuit, the 1986 film about an experimental robot manufactured to be a weapon until a lightning strike fills it with intelligence. It runs away and befriends a fractured family, the military in hot pursuit. Hill directed the Illumination pic Hop and Fox’s Alvin and the Chipmunks. Dimension optioned the remake rights in 2009, originally signing Paul Blart: Mall Cop helmer Steve Carr and screenwriter Dan Milano. The project has languished and Hill is being brought in to supervise a new script and get the iconic robot Johnny 5 moving. [Deadline]

The guy from Paul Blart is out, so they got the guy from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Jeez, was Leni Riefenstahl busy? Los Locos kick your ass! Los Locos kick your face! Los Locos put on sunglasses and dance to hip hop. Los Locos start loading gypsies into train cars.
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Bubba Smith, probably best known as Hightower in the Police Academy movies, died yesterday in his home at the age of 66. No cause of death has yet been named, but the results of his autopsy should be known late today or tomorrow. I think I speak for everyone when I say that this is a tragedy, and if God was fair, it would’ve been that son of a bitch Guttenberg.

Smith was found dead at his Baldwin Hills home. No cause of death has been determined and there were no initial indications of foul play. Smith was 66.
A caretaker found Smith dead at his home Wednesday afternoon, police said.
A 6-foot-7, 280-pound defensive end, Smith was the No. 1 NFL draft pick from Michigan State University when he joined the Baltimore Colts in 1967.
He played five seasons for the Colts, which included their upset loss to the New York Jets in Super Bowl III and a victory over the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl V. He spent two seasons with the Oakland Raiders and two more with the Houston Oilers before a knee injury ended his career in 1976.
After football, Smith was recruited to the ranks of former professional athletes who appeared as themselves in commercials for Miller Lite beer. He and fellow NFL veteran Dick Butkus were cast as inept golfers and polo players in the TV spots. Smith also was featured solo in one commercial extolling the virtues of the beer, beaming into the camera, “I also love the easy-opening cans,” while ripping off the top of the can.
Despite a lucrative contract and widespread popularity, Smith, who didn’t drink, walked away from the job out of concerns that the spots were contributing to alcohol consumption.
He turned to acting in movies and TV, playing Moses Hightower in six “Police Academy” movies. He also appeared in a number of TV series, including “Half-Nelson,” “Blue Thunder” and “Good Times.”
His brother Tody, a star at USC and in the NFL, later became Bubba’s agent. He died at 50 in 1999. [LATimes]

I’ll always remember Bubba Smith as the good former-football-player-turned-actor-in-a-police-procedural-parody movie, the one who didn’t kill people.

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I’m reusing this picture of Will Smith and Celine Dion because I can’t be the only one fascinated by it.  Three words: Leather Hammer Pants.  Game over, man, game over.

Frank Martin’s (Statham’s character in Transporter) 8 Rules to Being Badass.  Of course, this ignores the number one rule of Jason Statham: Oy don’t follow fock’n rules, now doesn’ oy?  No shir’, no rules, innit, ya cunts. [ScreenJunkies]

Robert Downey on The Avengers: “If we don’t get it right, it’s really going to suck.”  Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.  You must’ve seen Fantastic Four.  Seriously though, he’s actually playing Sherlock.  [Filmonic]

The MTV guy asks Hugh Jackman about rumors that he’s gay – and shockingly, it turns out to be the least awkward interview he’s ever done.  Hugh Jackman seems cool.  You gotta respect a guy who feels the need to flap his arms for 10 minutes because someone used the word “vulture”.  [MTV]

A gallery of “For Your Consideration” ads – and no you’re not hallucinating, one of them actually is Mamma Mia for best picture.  That’s balls.  Also, I would do naughty things to Amanda Seyfried (like watch her go pee!).  [AwardsDaily]

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