Actual cast photo.

As Vince had previously written, Conan star Jason Momoa was the frontrunner for the role of Drax the Destroyer in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy. However, there were complications with getting that deal done, and as the Hollywood Reporter points out: “Momoa was pegged as the man for the gig in February by online geek blogs — prematurely, it turns out.” Shots fired, bros.

Anyway, director James Gunn and Co. went back to the drawing board to select an actor with the physical attributes to play the gigantic green warrior on a quest to kill the titan Thanos, and it wasn’t that difficult because former WWE Champion Dave Bautista was like, “Hey, I’m gigantic” and Marvel was like, “Sweet, bro.”

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All of the pieces seem to be falling into place rather nicely for Marvel’s giant sci-fi space epic, Guardians of the Galaxy, which will of course be tied into the ever-expanding Avengers universe. With Parks and Rec star Chris Pratt signed on to play the lead character, Star-Lord, they’re just trying to fill in the supporting characters, specifically the voices of the CGI Guardians like Rocket Raccoon and Groot, the giant talking tree.

There was a rumor back in January that Marvel Studios had reached out to Adam Sandler for the voice of Rocket and Jim Carrey for Groot, and while those aren’t exactly the most ideal casting decisions, based on both actors’ recent bodies of work, they at least showed that the studio was devoted to adding serious star power to this comic book’s transition to the big screen.

But just like Jason Momoa, who turned down the role of Drax the Destroyer, we can cross Carrey off the list, too. Promoting The Incredible Burt Wonderstone at SXSW (where Vince is currently trying out pickup lines on Twilight actresses) Carrey shot down that January rumor with authority.

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Last week, Joss Whedon offered fans at the Glasgow Film Festival some insight into the second phase of Marvel’s The Avengers when he said that we can expect to see “death, death and more death”. Hopefully that didn’t bum you out too much, but if it did I might be able to talk you off the ledge with some new information from Marvel’s President of Production, Kevin Feige, regarding the mysterious Guardians of the Galaxy film.

So far we know that Chris Pratt will play Star-Lord in this story of a cosmic team – featuring a giant tree and a talking raccoon – that keeps the galaxy safe from evildoers like Thanos. Hence, Guardians of the Galaxy. Jesus, you’re slow. Thanks to Feige, we also now know that we’re in for a good, old-fashioned Sci-Fi experience.

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With Chris Pratt all set to play Star-Lord opposite a tree man and a talking raccoon (this movie sounds like a stoner’s dream), all Marvel has left to cast in Guardians of the Galaxy are the voices (Adam Sandler was rumored at one point), and Drax the Destroyer. Well now, according to El Mayimbe at Latino Review, (*takes huge drag on inhaler*) Marvel has offered the part to Jason Momoa, aka Conan, aka Khal Drogo. Wait, are all these characters dudes? Sounds more like Guardians of the Guy-laxy if you ask me.

Momoa flew out to London to screen test on Wednesday. It was reported earlier that Isiah Mustafa [Old Spice commercial guy], Dave Bautista [Wrestler], and Brian Patrick [guy with two first names] also tested the role of Drax.

According to sources, Momoa’s screen test went so good [sic] that Marvel offered him the part and his reps have now countered, so the negotiations are ongoing. [LatinoReview]

I’m not that familiar with Drax the Destroyer (is he a ship?), so I melvined this nerd I know named Wikipedia and made him tell me everything. Don’t laugh, if there’s one area where Wikipedia is meticulously accurate, it’s in comic book characters.

Arthur Douglas was a human whose family was attacked and killed by the supervillain Thanos. Needing a champion to combat Thanos, the being known as Kronos took Arthur’s spirit and placed it in a powerful new body, and Drax the Destroyer was born. Drax’s powers included enhanced strength and resilience, flight, and the ability to project energy blasts from his hands. The character often battled Thanos, and on occasion the superheroes Captain Marvel and Adam Warlock. He was also a member of the group known as the Infinity Watch. [Wiki]

So, basically a buff dude with rocket hands. My dream. And it seems do-able for Momoa, who has become Hollywood’s go-to guy whenever they need a big buff dude and The Rock is busy. Momoa definitely brings a certain… Hawaiianness to all his roles. I guess the jury’s still out. He seems reasonably charismatic, but it’s hard to tell what he can do when all he’s been in are a horrific nü metal remake of Conan and played Hate-F*ck McGee on Game of Thrones.

I guess we’ll see. But at the very least, we’ll always have this drunk-off-his-ass UFC interview:

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One of these things is going to be played by Chris Pratt.

While the biggest nerd boner Marvel Studios/Avengers movie rumor of the week is still the idea that the 2016 Incredible Hulk movie will be based on the Planet Hulk series and The Avengers 3 will possibly involve the World War Hulk story, the more realistic news is that it appears that Guardians of the Galaxy finally has a star. In fact, you could say that the film has a Star-Lord, because that’s the role that has been cast. That’s why you could say that.

Set to hit theaters in 2014, Guardians of the Galaxy will reportedly have Parks and Rec goofball Chris Pratt as its lead half-human, half-alien superhero tasked with helping the Avengers take down Thanos. While there’s still no word on who will voice Rocket the Raccoon, I’ve got $5 that says it’s Larry the Cable Guy.

So how do we know that Pratt’s going to be the main man even though we haven’t heard him mentioned once? Because someone just TOLD YA.

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