Bigger, Stronger, Faster* is a documentary by Chris Bell (trailer after the jump), a guy whose other credits include writing WWF Raw is War in 1997.  I can only imagine that involved sitting around a table going, “Okay, how ‘bout The Rock adopts a bulldog puppy and then Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up and runs it over in his truck?  I mean, there’s definitely gonna be a Peoples’ Elbow, but it’d be nice if it had some backstory, you know what I mean?”

Anyway, the movie premiered at Sundance, but doesn’t appear to have a theatrical release date set.  If the trailer is any indication, this will go further than the normal Drugs Are Bad, Mmm’Kay? discourse in which steroids are normally discussed. 

I mean, I hope it will. Because every time you do a bad piece about steroids, Sylvester Stallone rips an angel’s wings off.  … LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

Bestweekever created this helpful compilation in order to bring it to your attention that Leatherheads fumbled this weekend.  It was an obvious metaphor, but that didn’t stop anyone from re-using it, because it was just too sexy.

In their defense, Concussions force ‘Leatherheads’ into early retirement; later killed by brain tumor resulting from prolonged HGH abuse probably didn’t fit in the banner box.

[Thanks to 'RoboPanda' for the tip] 

IGN has this latest publicity still (click thumbnail below for full size) from X-Men Origins: Wolverine – directed by Gavin Hood, opening May 2009.

The slight-yet-muscular build, the leather jacket-wifebeater combo, the stubble and chest hair, the vaguely sexual sounding name (Hugh Jackman!) – Jesus, he’s like a fruity caricature of a manly man.  He could’ve been the most famous gay porn star the world has ever known.  He’s less a man than a work of art – chiseled out of dicks by Truman Capote. 

Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it.  GRR, LESBIAN PORNO!

No Country for Old Men was one of the big winners at last night’s excitement and wonder-filled SAG Awards, taking home cast honors and a supporting actor trophy for Javier Bardem.

Two weeks after the glam-free Golden Globes "news conference," the presence Sunday night of blue-chip Hollywood stars such as presenter Tom Cruise, a pregnant Cate Blanchett, and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (in a flowing, is-she-or-isn’t-she dress that did little to quell twins rumors*) reminded that the SAGs may stand as the highlight of Hollywood’s film-honors season — if the writers strike undermines the Oscars, that is.

But the SAG show itself was generally free of labor talk, with only [Actress Julie] Christie addressing the matter openly among the winners.  "It’s lovely to receive an award from your own union," she said, "especially at a time when we’re being so forcefully reminded how important unions are." [via Yahoo]

God only knows what horrors they’d face without a union.  I shudder when I think of Christian Bale forced to work long, shirtless hours in the spark factory, and then I get an erection.  But not in a gay way, more in a professional respect for a handsome man sort of way; a heteroection, really.  GRR, FOOTBALL.  (Full list of winners after the jump)   

*That Angelina Jolie has lovely twins (NWS) has never been disputed, to my knowledge.

Via Yahoo/AP – commentary in [brackets]. 

Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood."  [Shocker, I know.]

Actress: Julie Christie, "Away From Her." [I don’t know who this person or what this movie is, and I write a movie blog for a living.]

Supporting actor: Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men." [Sort of a no-brainer again, but it’s hard to believe Phillip Semen Hoffmore wasn’t even nominated for Charlie Wilson’s War]

Supporting actress: Ruby Dee, "American Gangster." [I had to check Wikipedia to see if she was any relation to Billy Dee Williams.  She’s not, but it does say she was in an “open marriage” to Ossie Davis, which is kind of sweet.  But not if you picture it, because she’s really old.]

Cast: "No Country for Old Men." [No arguments here]

Stunt ensemble: "The Bourne Ultimatum." [They should come up with a word for “ensemble” that’s not French and gay sounding]

___

Television:

Actor in a movie or miniseries: Kevin Kline, "As You Like It." [His middle name is Keith and he hates minorities]

Actress in a movie or miniseries: Queen Latifah, "Life Support." [The statuettes are kinda small so they just abbreviated it “Queefah” on her trophy.]

Actor in a drama series: James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos." [Sure, why not]

Actress in a drama series: Edie Falco, "The Sopranos." [They used to call her “Speedy Falco” in high school.  She was a slut. BONG.]

Actor in a comedy series: Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock."  [Something something Rude Little Pig something something]

Actress in a comedy series: Tina Fey, "30 Rock." [I like her.  There, I said it.  She doesn’t look like a Tina though.  Little known fact: her daughter, Alice Zenobia Richmond, was originally named Xenophobia Richmond.]

Drama series cast: "The Sopranos." [How’s TV going to seem relevant now that this is off the air?  Discuss.]

Comedy series cast: "The Office." [Does the alcoholic redhead chick turn anyone else on?  Just me then?]

Stunt ensemble: "24." [That would explain everything]
___

Lifetime Achievement: Charles Durning [Linking this to his picture or IMDB page so you know who he is would probably cheapen his achievements, wouldn’t it?]

AOL has the HD trailer for Baby Mama, starring Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.  (opens April 25th)

Being a big fan of Mean Girls, 30 Rock (except for Judah Friedlander, whose entire character seems to consist of having his mouth open and wearing funny hats – I hate that guy), and pretty much all things Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, I’m kind of excited for this.

Crap, that totally makes me gay, doesn’t it.  Sorry, Ladies.  GRR, FIXING THE SINK!