Not so fast, metal dude and fish boy.

The other day we talked about how Marvel Studios was possibly going to screw the pooch by casting Adam Sandler to voice Rocket the Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy, but the good news to take away from that was that at least Marvel was actually casting. On the other hand, it’s another day and another rumor for Justice League, which has a writer, villain and possibly a storyline, but still has no director or cast. Oh, and it has a targeted release for the summer of 2015 to nut up to the Avengers sequel, so you could say that this movie is an absolute mess right now.

But DC and Warner Brothers work in baby steps, because they supposedly have the main heroes finally picked out. According to the comic movie scoops at Latino Review, 2015 is going to be a terrible year for Aquaman fans.

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I have no idea how this movie will work.

As we discussed on Friday, any comic book movie that will be made in the wake of The Avengers is going to be compared to Marvel’s megahit and the producers are going to want to emulate it. The exception to this rule is Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises, because his Batman trilogy stands alone compared to most other comic book films. Nolan has not only given us a darker, deeper version of the classic Bruce Wayne story, but he’s done it with a Midas touch, grossing more than $1.4 billion between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

So with Warner Bros. desperate to get the ball re-rolling on a Justice League film to capitalize on some of that sweet, sweet Avengers coin, studio executives and fan boys alike want to know if Nolan will lend his touch to DC’s grand collection of heroes.

“No, none at all,” Nolan said. “We’re finished with all we’re doing with Batman. This is the end of our take on this character.”

Aw, crap.

“Batman will outlive us all, and our interpretation was ours. Obviously, we consider it definitive and kind of finished. The great thing about Batman is he lives on for future generations to reinterpret, and obviously, Warners will have to decide in the future what they’re going to do with him,” Nolan said. “We’ve had our say on the character. …

“I’ve got no plans to do anything more, and certainly, no involvement with any Justice League project.” (Via EW)

Nolan also wrote the story for and is producing the upcoming Man of Steel, which stars Henry Cavill and is directed by Zack Snyder. It should be safe to say that we’re finally looking at a quality Superman film, but after that last disaster of a reboot and Kevin Smith’s famous giant spider story, we’re allowed to be a little bit skeptical.

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Just weeks after he forced us to gay marry each other by threatening to raise gas prices again, President Obama has apparently been leaning on DC Comics. Because now, Green Lantern is officially “a gay.” DAMN YOU, OBAMA! GO BACK TA AFERKA, MUSLIN!

One of DC Comics oldest heroes is super-coming out.
The original Green Lantern – a DC Comics mainstay for the past 70 years – will be revealed to be a gay man in next week’s issue of “Earth 2.”
Alan Scott – formerly a married father of two who first appeared in 1940 – tips readers off to his sexuality early on in the comic when he gives his boyfriend a welcome home kiss.
“He’s very much the character he was. He’s still the pinnacle of bravery and idealism. He’s also gay,” “Earth 2″ writer James Robinson told The Post.
The Emerald Guardian’s sexuality was rebooted along with the rest of his fictional universe as part of DC’s “New 52″ initiative aimed at rejuvenating their characters.
Robinson said he decided to make the change because making the character young again meant erasing Scott’s gay superhero son out of existence.
“The only downside of his being young was we lose his son, Obsidian, who’s gay. So I thought, ‘Why not make Alan Scott gay?’” Robinson recalled. “That was the seed that started it.”
He ran his idea by the bosses at DC, “who signed off on it without hesitation.” [NYPost]

Damn these militant homos and their queer agenda! (Before God damns them, I mean). Can’t we straights have anything anymore?? When I pick up a Green Lantern comic, I expect to read about a hot buff dude in tights who wears a magic promise ring he got from a purple-headed alien for being without fear, not something gay.

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Pictured: They don't know how she does it.

And now for your daily dose of easy Schadenfreude, the top 15 flops of 2011. While it’s easy and fun to tap dance on the grave of most of these ass piles (pour a little rum out for The Rum Diary – *I* liked it), remember: justice won’t truly be served until everyone involved in the making of New Year’s Eve gets shot out of a cannon.

1. Mars Needs Moms
Studio: Disney
Release Date: March 11, 2011
Budget: $150 million
Worldwide Gross: $39 million

2. Sucker Punch
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens
Release Date: March 25, 2011
Budget: $82 million
Worldwide gross: $89.8 million

3. Arthur
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Garner
Release Date: April 8, 2011
Budget: $40 million-plus
Worldwide Gross: $45.7 million

4. Green Lantern
Studio: Warner Bros.
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively
Release Date: June 17, 2011
Budget: $200 million
Worldwide Gross: $219.9 million

5. Cowboys & Aliens
Studio: DreamWorks/Universal
Stars: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford
Release Date: July 29, 2011
Budget: $163 million
Worldwide Gross: $178.8

6. Glee: The 3D Concert Movie
Studio: Fox
Stars: Lea Michele, Chris Colfer, Darren Criss
Release Date: Aug. 12
Budget: $9 million
Worldwide Gross: $18.7 millon

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While Bill Simmons might try to blame it on Ryan Reynolds not being a “real movie star,” Green Lantern was the closest thing you’ll ever see to a failure of concept, where nothing anyone did could overcome the lameness of the central conflict, a battle between two abstract concepts (“will” and “fear”) as represented by two abstract entities (green jizz fog for will, yellow jizz fog for fear). But Hollywood execs are pretty smart, so I’m sure this will be something they’ll correct in the sequel (don’t say they shouldn’t make a sequel, we both know that’s too much to hope for), right? Oh what’s that? Their plan is to make it “darker and edgier?” Oh.. Well, uh… that works too, I guess.

Despite the big-budget superhero movie’s disappointing box office performance so far, Warner Bros. executives still want to find a way to make a sequel work. Bringing superheroes from its DC Comics unit to the big screen is a top priority for the studio, and executives believe that the problem with “Green Lantern” was in execution, not concept. They even have ideas on how to turn things around next time.

“We had a decent opening so we learned there is an audience,” said Warner Bros. film group President Jeff Robinov, pointing to the film’s box office debut of $53 million. “To go forward we need to make it a little edgier and darker with more emphasis on action…. And we have to find a way to balance the time the movie spends in space versus on Earth.” |LATimes|

That’ll fix it! Ten bucks says that means that Ryan Reynolds will be wearing sunglasses and riding a motorcycle in the next trailer.

Hollywood's idea of "edgy."