I was going to call this post a Friday Free For All, my usual slot for awesome, non-movie-related video, but then I realized that both of today’s are movie related.  Do I get extra credit?  First, there’s the montage you see above, a surprisingly entertaining recut of Lost Boys in which every line is “Micheal.”  Holy hell do they say “Michael” a lot in that movie.  In fact, I bet they say “Michael” even more in Lost Boys than they do in Michael.  And that’s a shame, really.  But just when you’re all like, “Wait, are they seriously going to make a Lost Boys video with no reference to Greasy Sax Dude?”  BOOM!  There’s Greasy Sax Dude, honkin’ and a-thrustin’, all over your face!

After the jump, find out how the Jews make their matzoh.  (Spoiler alert: from the blood of Christian children! Duh!)

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Long before he showed up on Saturday Night Live or Eastbound and Down, Greasy Sax Dude, aka Timmy Cappello, the sax player from the intro to Lost Boys, was a fixture here on FilmDrunk.  I’m not trying to brag or say anyone ripped me off, I just wanted to congratulate my readers for being in a place that’s always on the cutting edge of remembering stuff from the 80s.

Reader Larry recently discovered that Cappello has a doppleganger down in Palo Alto who does his honkin’ and thrustin’ on the fields of gridiron.  Stanford destroyed Virginia Tech 40 – 12 in last night’s Orange Bowl, but credit Tech for holding the fullback Marecic to just four yards on three carries with one touchdown.  A guy that slippery can’t be easy to tackle.

Marecic's touchdown dance

I’ve been using the clip of Greasy Sax Man, aka Timmy Capello, honkin’ ‘n thrustin’ in the opening of Lost Boys since 2007.  It’s one of my favorite clips, on account of the fact that Timmy Capello’s hips don’t lie, and neither does his crotch bulge.  He has a very honest crotch.  Anyway, last night, he showed up on SNL in the form of Jon Hamm as “Sergio” in the SNL Digital Short.  Obviously, I’m flattered that SNL would choose to share in the joy of Greasy Sax, (I’m all about sharing, that’s why I stole my site text from an old SNL bit) especially in the Digital Short, which is the best part of the show 99% of the time.  I’d just like to thank them for not putting Kenan Thompson in the sketch, which would’ve been like slapping my face while raping my mother. With a greasy sax.

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This is a little video called Raising 2012, made by this guy.  The one great thing to come out of 2012 being so terrible is how much random people on the internet have been able to improve it with simple editing choices.  See also: 2012 without FX, 2012 – the Disaster Porn trailer for examples.  This time around, the only change was to sub in some music from Raising Arizona, and yet… it’s SO MUCH BETTER!  I also would’ve accepted “Yakety Sax.”  In fact, and I’m just gonna lay this out there because it’s my dream, close your eyes and imagine:  Greasy Sax Man playing “Yakety Sax” in the top right corner of the trailer, greenscreen vignette-style, like those old sign language translators.  Oh wouldn’t it… beee niiiiice….

UPDATE: Now with more Yakety Sax (bottom video)
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That’s right, it’s Greasy Sax Man, and that means Lost Boys news.

No one actually watches Lost Boys sequels (except Chodin when I pay him*), but they keep making them anyway, presumably as a way to keep Corey Feldman from making music.  Anyway, here’s the plot of Lost Boys 3: The Thirst.  See if you can spot the Twilight reference:

“When veteran vampire hunter Edgar Frog [Corey Feldman] finds himself destitute and almost friendless, he thinks his life has hit bottom – but wealthy vampire-romance novelist Gwen Liebling offers him a small fortune to go on the vampire hunt of a lifetime and rescue her son Peter from the Alpha Vampire D.J. Dusk. With the help of his friends Zoe, Lars and Blake, Edgar heads into a bloody battle to exterminate evil.” [via Bloody-Disgusting]

So… who wants to bet me that D.J. Dusk is an actual Disc Jockey? Anyone?  Anyway, it sounds pretty bad, I know.  But keep in mind it’s protecting us from this:

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