‘Kristen Stewart Wows in Sexy Bikini.’ That was the Yahoo headline I read, which, curiously, accompanied this photo of 21-year-old Twilight heartthrobburn victim Kristin Stewart on the cover of British GQ. In which she sexily wears whatever that baggy thing covering her bikini bottoms is sexily pulled up above her belly button, higher than my grandpa on his way to bowling match. I guess diaper + training bra = sexy, according to some people.

Okay, now that say it out loud, it does sound pretty hot. To quote Joe King, “Grandma… I want you to fill up the whole diaper.”

This is probably a little too inside baseball, but the Twittersphere is all full of vinegar and vagina sand today over GQ writer Edith Zimmerman’s profile of Chris Evans, with whom she got drunk and kind of swooned over.  Now, predictably, people are whining about her “unprofessionalism.”  Which neglects to mention that “professionalism” in journalism is usually just a synonym for “dishonesty” or “obfuscation.”  When someone’s actually honest about being smitten and starstruck by a handsome movie star instead of just portraying their idea of “boring entertainment reporter,” the “terrible” result is an actor profile that people might actually want to read.  (Also, anyone who uses the word “horrified” to describe anything other than war crimes can pretty much go f*ck themselves).  Aaaaanyhooooo, long story short, it’s a fun article, and Chris Evans seems cool.  Here’s my favorite bit:

“The point is that when I see a sunset or a waterfall or something, for a split second it’s so great, because for a little bit I’m out of my brain, and it’s got nothing to do with me. I’m not trying to figure it out, you know what I mean? And I wonder if I can somehow find a way to maintain that mind stillness.”

“That’s what alcohol is for, right?” I said, which was too cute and too prescient.

“Boom.” He high-fived me. It’s hard to say which he did more: high-five when he was pleased about a joke of his or mine, or make jerk-off gestures when he was sick of hearing himself talk.

Read the rest of this entry »

Haha, good one, Jeff Bridges.  Hey, heard any good jokes lately?

Read the rest of this entry »

Brüno recently did a photoshoot for the latest issue of GQ in which goofed around with L.A.’s Birmingham high school football team.  Now the school superindendent is angry about it because… uh… it takes the attention away from the fact that most of his students can’t read?

The stunt has incensed Los Angeles Unified School District Supt. Ramon C. Cortines, adding fuel to a debate over whether Birmingham, in Lake Balboa, should be allowed to convert to a charter school. The charter conversion is up for a vote before the school board Wednesday. “This recent GQ thing has not helped matters,” Cortines said today. “We’ve allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances, either.” [LATimes]

Actually, the students used you.  Namely your jerseys.  Wait, what’s this about charter school?

[Birmingham HS] has broken away from the nation’s second-largest school district. The move came one day after officials with the Los Angeles Unified School District disciplined two administrators over violating the district’s policy on using the school’s name in the film. The charter proposal ends the district’s authority over school employees, so the disciplinary action will be moot. [Yahoo]

Wow, so a school gets one magazine spread and suddenly it’s too good to hang with the schools it grew up with?  Sounds like L.A. alright.  Stay tuned for next week, when Birmingham High develops an eating disorder and f*cks David Spade.

The current issue of GQ has a feature and photo spread on Evan Rachel Wood – whom you may remember from The Wrestler, Thirteen, and her pervy Marilyn Manson video – and they were kind enough to send over some photos.  They say...

Evan Rachel Wood is that rare and ruinous combination of innocent girl next door and kinky neighbor down the street. [...] Recently, she was linked with her Wrestler co-star, the 56-year-old Mickey Rourke. “There was no truth to it, and it was so annoying,” says Wood, now 21, who is back with Manson after “taking some time” away from the relationship. Of Rourke, she says: “The friendship was intimate and nice, and this makes it weird.”

I say: I like this picture where she’s kinda spread eagled the best.  It makes me picture her vagina for some reason.  I guess I’m old fashioned like that.