Earlier today, I received an email from the fine people at Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine regarding their selections for the annual “Men of the Year” feature, or however they refer to it. Ben Affleck was named Director of the Year for Argo, and you can tell it’s a distinguishing honor because he has a sprinkle of salt in his pepper. And singer Rihanna was named Obsession of the Year, and I don’t know what that means, because I feel like she needs a vacation.

But the big winner was our favorite rec center savior, Channing Tatum, who was named Movie Star of the Year, and nobody can deny how much he absolutely deserves that honor. His films The Vow, 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike each grossed more than $100 million, and his presence (or lack thereof) managed to derail the summer release of Paramount’s blockbuster, GI Joe: Retaliation, because his fans were irate that his character Duke was being killed off.

So does the good news stop there? HELL NAW. According to Gossip Cop, our beloved C-Tates will bring home his greatest honor yet when People Magazine will reportedly announce tomorrow that he is the 2012 Sexiest Man Alive. Respek.

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Olivia Wilde made the cover of British GQ’s new Comedy Special issue devoted to “Kings of Comedy… and Olivia Wilde, Brooklyn Decker, Anna Faris, and Diora Baird.” Normally I’d make fun of that terrible attempt at pandering to the lowest common denominator, but come on – have you seen Kate Upton in the Carl’s Jr. commercial? I’m more concerned with the inclusion of Owen Wilson on the list of “Kings.” Did they at least mention the people who wrote the lines that make him seem funny? It’s only fair.

Wilde, though, while not the first woman I’d mention when discussing sexy female comedic actresses (Hello, Malin Akerman), really should be shoehorned into any subject possible for the sake of getting her to make her boobs jiggle, because that’s what this is all about. For some glorious reason, GQ had Wilde record a three-second video that feature her simply touching both of her boobs. Jason Sudeikis, you are one lucky bastard.

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‘Kristen Stewart Wows in Sexy Bikini.’ That was the Yahoo headline I read, which, curiously, accompanied this photo of 21-year-old Twilight heartthrobburn victim Kristin Stewart on the cover of British GQ. In which she sexily wears whatever that baggy thing covering her bikini bottoms is sexily pulled up above her belly button, higher than my grandpa on his way to bowling match. I guess diaper + training bra = sexy, according to some people.

Okay, now that say it out loud, it does sound pretty hot. To quote Joe King, “Grandma… I want you to fill up the whole diaper.”

This is probably a little too inside baseball, but the Twittersphere is all full of vinegar and vagina sand today over GQ writer Edith Zimmerman’s profile of Chris Evans, with whom she got drunk and kind of swooned over.  Now, predictably, people are whining about her “unprofessionalism.”  Which neglects to mention that “professionalism” in journalism is usually just a synonym for “dishonesty” or “obfuscation.”  When someone’s actually honest about being smitten and starstruck by a handsome movie star instead of just portraying their idea of “boring entertainment reporter,” the “terrible” result is an actor profile that people might actually want to read.  (Also, anyone who uses the word “horrified” to describe anything other than war crimes can pretty much go f*ck themselves).  Aaaaanyhooooo, long story short, it’s a fun article, and Chris Evans seems cool.  Here’s my favorite bit:

“The point is that when I see a sunset or a waterfall or something, for a split second it’s so great, because for a little bit I’m out of my brain, and it’s got nothing to do with me. I’m not trying to figure it out, you know what I mean? And I wonder if I can somehow find a way to maintain that mind stillness.”

“That’s what alcohol is for, right?” I said, which was too cute and too prescient.

“Boom.” He high-fived me. It’s hard to say which he did more: high-five when he was pleased about a joke of his or mine, or make jerk-off gestures when he was sick of hearing himself talk.

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Haha, good one, Jeff Bridges.  Hey, heard any good jokes lately?

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