This weekend, two of my favorite entities, Cinefamily and EverythingisTerrible, are joining forces for the 2nd annual Everything Is festival in LA, featuring Andrew WK, Neil Hamburger, a panel with Conan O’Brien’s writers, and a ridiculous amount of awesome, harder-to-describe stuff, including screenings of Sledgehammer and Brain Bludgeon sponsored by our buddy Evan Husney from Severin Films, and collections of movie supercuts including a few from our very own Oliver Noble.  If you’re cool, you should go.  …You are cool, aren’t you?  Oh man. I’m starting to wonder if this whole invite was a mistake.

The video here is their idea of a trailer for the event.  It features John Cassavetes’ performance in the 1982 film, Incubus, and his portrayal of a man with a singular obsession: sperm.  Seriously, everything is always sperm sperm sperm with this guy. He eats, sleeps, drinks and sh*ts sperm. Not only just “sperm”, but “an incredible amount of sperm” and “a hell of a lot sperm,” and “buckets and buckets of sperm.”  Talking about sperm is one thing, but constantly including quantities just takes it to another level.  Why do I get the feeling I’ve seen this film already?  Anyway, here’s Cinefamily’s description of the festival:

It’s a kind of gonzo convention for the most insane collectors of film and video ephemera (all of our friends basically), mixed in with with all of our favorite people on frontier of the comedy scene — people pushing the envelope of what comedy even is. Is that funny or just f*ckin’ weird? [Cinefamily]

And because I’m such a nice guy, I’ve got three tickets to the event of your choice, for the first person who can email me and tell me what movie is being parodied in the credits of this video. That’s right, three. You can bring your significant other and whatever pretty young thing you pick up at the truck stop.

Read the rest of this entry »

I try not to tell you what to do around here too much, but one piece of advice I think you’ll find helpful is that you should always try to cover your fleshy torso with fabric (DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO). To encourage this sound piece of shirt-wearing advice, Uproxx has partnered with JackThreads to offer you shirts at a glorious discount.

If you’re one of the first 10 people to sign up for both the Uproxx Daily Breakdown (in the sidebar, above right, under Sad Keanu) and JackThreads (IMPORTANT NOTE: USE THE SAME EMAIL ADDRESS, PLZ…), you can score $10 towards any shirt on JackThreads.  Currently, they’ve got a sale going on these Tank Theory shirts (see banner) which are pretty sweet and wolf-covered, like my wang.

So if you want to get yourself something to cover your body with, go ahead and sign yourself up.  If you don’t want to cover your body with anything, and you’re a girl, take some pictures and send them to me.  Either way, Jesus loves you.

What up.  I have to post this one more time before they pick a winner.  Good luck.

Here on FilmDrunk, I never plug stuff for profit or agree to say nice things about movies in exchange for schwag or access.  But one of my main principles is that principles go straight out the window when free booze is involved.  Here’s the deal, just click on this link for a chance to win a bar full of free booze from Thrillist.  Okay, maybe not a bar full, I mean, not enough to fill my bar; but certainly more than you can smuggle to the movies in a trenchcoat.  They’re only doing this for FilmDrunk, so the odds won’t be like winning the lottery or touching a girl’s boob.  So what’s Thrillist?  Glad you asked, dickweed!

Thrillist is a free daily email that sifts through the crap to find the best of what’s new in your city and on the web. Each day, you’ll get info on the best new bars, restaurants, events, gear, and services. Whatever it is, we promise it won’t suck.

As part of the promotion, I’m not allowed to win.  But according to the rules, I’m also not not allowed to show up at the winner’s house in a crotchless speedo yelling “Hey, fags, when’s the gangbang?”

Here on FilmDrunk, I never plug stuff for profit or agree to say nice things about movies in exchange for schwag or access.  But one of my main principles is that principles go straight out the window when free booze is involved.  Here’s the deal, just click on this link for a chance to win a bar full of free booze from Thrillist.  Okay, maybe not a bar full, I mean, not enough to fill my bar; but certainly more than you can smuggle to the movies in a trenchcoat.  They’re only doing this for FilmDrunk, so the odds won’t be like winning the lottery or touching a girl’s boob.

So what’s Thrillist?  Glad you asked, dickweed!

Thrillist is a free daily email that sifts through the crap to find the best of what’s new in your city and on the web. Each day, you’ll get info on the best new bars, restaurants, events, gear, and services. Whatever it is, we promise it won’t suck.

As part of the promotion, I’m not allowed to win.  But the rules didn’t say anything about not showing up at the winner’s house in a crotchless speedo yelling “Hey, fags, when’s the gangbang?”