Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• Louis CK has a new TV series coming to FX, with at least 12 episodes in development.  Watch it while eating dirt cookies (they’re a delicacy in some countries, you know). |WarmingGlow|
• 25 Awesome Protest Signs |HolyTaco|
• 50 reasons Gina Carano should stay out of the cage |Gunaxin|
• NSFW shower scene from the film Sorority Row |ScreenJunkies|
• The 12 Worst Fantasy First-Round Picks Ever |OpenSports|
• Video: “Denis Clemente’s Crazy HORSE Shot Off Scoreboard”.  Aww, come on guys.  The horse wasn’t hurting anybody up there. |HoopDoctors|
• If your show sucks, just add silicone. |InGameNow|
• The music industry: doomed, or screwed? |SmokingSection|

~ robopanda

If Black Dynamite star Michael Jai White doesn’t become the next big action hero, the terrorists have won.  This is the trailer for the direct-to-DVD fight flick, Blood and Bone.  Starring MICHAEL JAI WHITE, as… ISAIAH BONE.  You might also notice a couple cameos by professional giant black guys Kimbo Slice and Bob Sapp. But pay special attention to the 1:17 mark, where Michael Jai White KICKS FOUR GUYS IN THE FACE BEFORE HE HITS THE GROUND!  OOH WHA-AA AA-AA!

White stars as an ex-con drawn into LA’s underground fight rings to fulfill a promise to a dead friend and leaves a pretty hefty count of broken bones and bloody noses behind him.  [Twitch]

So basically, it’s like the black version of Never Back Down, which automatically makes it roughly 10 times cooler than Never Back Down.  Plus, no Cam Gigandet, which is worth another 15.  Oh, and Gina Carano guest stars, which means I get to post my favorite gif:

Read the rest of this entry »

Penis… So confused…

The TV-to-film adaptation we’ve all been waiting for is finally here. No, not Arrested Development, dumbass, American Gladiators.  I mean, no one in their right mind could watch that show and not think “Hey, this should be a movie!”

The film will be based on the TV show that first aired in 1988 and has been on the air every year except one during the past 20 years. Most recently, NBC aired a primetime installment in 2008. The show has aired in more than 90 countries, with the format adapted for the local market in 14 of them [in the Mexican version they shoot tacos instead of tennis balls -Ed.].

Former Legendary Pictures chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing “American Gladiators.” The goal is to create an action story that takes place inside the world Ferraro has created.  “I look forward to creating a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters,” Mednick said. [Variety]

Sources close to the project are describing it as “Like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, except super gay and with giant Q-Tips.”

This picture of Megan Fox is from the set of Jennifer’s Body, and unfortunately doesn’t show much, unless you have a face fetish or some such perversion.  In other pictures of hot chicks non-news news, here’s a shot of Mickey Rourke talking to Gina Carano at the Strikeforce fight in San Jose Saturday.  I want to hug them both, but for drastically different reasons.  And finally, Mike Judge’s Extract has a new poster.  Get it?  One of the nuts is smashed because in the movie, a guy gets his nut smashed.  Pretty clever, huh?  I thought so.

[Megan Fox source = comingsoon, Carano/Rourke via AllElbows (lots more photos there), Extract via Hitfix]

The San Francisco Chronicle today has an article about lesbian MMA porn.  Awesome as that sounds, it’s also filled with sentences like this:

Since then, director Shine Louise Houston wasn’t exactly stroking a white fluffy cat while hot boi minions programmed the dyke robot army with the gay (porn) agenda that keeps the red states blushing.

If you can figure out what the hell that means you should find a hose because your pants are on fire. It’s always an interesting strategy to describe people in terms of what they’re not doing.  “Where’s grandpa?  Well, let’s just say he isn’t exactly behind the barn giving a hobo a hysterectomy.”  Wait, what?  Are you trying to be coy? ….AAAAANYWAY, back to lesbian MMA porn. The film in question is called Champion: Love Hurts, and its star is an honest-to-God MMA fighter.

[sic] Syd Blakovich portrays Jessie Eaton, a cold, womanizing MMA fighter who’s never lost a round in the ring.

Meanwhile, Blakovich’s promoter insists that Blakovich look and act “less gay” — even forcing the butch fighter to do a photo shoot in a dress, makeup and heels to try and win mainstream acceptance.

The film is packed with hot, raging queer sex and scorching, authentic orgasms — the heart-pounding scene with Madison Young and thigh-clenching solo by Jiz Lee are unforgettable — and it’s also filled with intense fight scenes. Big strap-ons, and flying fists.

I had a moment to chat with Blakovich about her real life, where she’s a world-touring champion cage fighter (and lesbian/genderqueer porn star). She told me that being told to look and act “less gay” isn’t just a plot point, explaining “In my own fighting career, I was initially asked by my manager to keep the queer porn under wraps because a lot of the MMA circuit is run by pretty conservative and homophobic people, but we both soon realized that in this day in age with the internet that really isn’t possible. So now, I am pretty out about it all.” [/sic]

I think I speak for everyone when I say that this film would be a lot better if Gina Carano was in it.  And that women’s MMA would be greatly improved by the addition of some big strap-ons.  I further posit that both these chicks earned their red belts a long time ago, if you catch my drift.  Okay I need to stop now.

[Thanks to BDarbs for the tip.  Just the tip.]