"Yo fly Gina, now I'mma turn it sideways."

Gina Carano is currently on her way to Comic Con to make it 1,000% sexier but until Vince comes back with his inevitable interview with her, featuring questions like, “Why don’t you love me?” and “500 feet?!?!”, we’ll have to settle for some new images that have been released for her upcoming movie debut, Haywire. The film was originally supposed to be released earlier this year but has been pushed back to January 20, 2012 because of distribution and studio issues. It’s fine, though. We can wait forever for Gina.

Haywire also stars Ewan MacGregor, Michael F. Assbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton, and Michael Douglas. And, of course, our boy Channing Tatum. Carano plays Mallory Kane, an elite government agent who suddenly finds herself double-crossed by her bosses and partners.

After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive. Using her black-ops military training, she devises an ingenious—and dangerous—trap. But when things go haywire [That’s the name of the movie! – Ed.], Mallory realizes she’ll be killed in the blink of an eye unless she finds a way to turn the tables on her ruthless adversary. (Via Indiewire)

While that synopsis sure does sound fun, I thought I would take it a step further and ask our good friend Channing Tatum, or C-Tates as he had spelled in the platinum grill he gave me at the BET Awards, to walk us through these new Haywire photos.

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WarmingGlow covered Tracy Morgan’s appearance on Kimmell, which was very funny, but so was his Daily Show interview above.  They don’t talk about the movie, but he does mention wanting to open a strip club with fat guys called “Chickendales.”  Also, “I’m old school, I don’t be pullin’ out.”

Matt Damon set to play Robert Kennedy in a biopic.  “Awright, which one a you hahd ons shawt my brothah?”  Top of the list to play Sirhan Sirhan?  You guessed it, Michelle Rodriguez.  |DeadlineHollywood|

If you follow the clues and meet up with a guy in a “Tron Lives” shirt and punch the special code into the official website, you’ll get to see the Tron Legacy trailer! Or you could just wait for some giant dork to do that for you and watch it online a half hour later.  If I see anyone in a Tron Lives shirt I’m pulling his pants down. |Techland|

Mickey Rourke is in talks to play Conan‘s father in Conan the Barbarian.  Don’t do it, Mick.  Aw, who am I kidding, I’ll still love you, as long as you’re still nice to small animals, swear, and continue to dress like a gay pirate. |Yahoo|

Jonah Hill is set for The Sitter, from Eastbound & Down/Pineapple Express director David Gordon Green.  Sources say Hill was originally set to play The Stander, but quickly became fatigued. Haha, I love you, obvious fat jokes. |FilmSchoolRejects|

And finally, here are some pictures from the set of The Knockout, starring Gina Carano.  She’s the only girl who can give me a raging boner, then karate kick it in half like a flimsy board. |photos at BloodyElbow, spy video at WatchKalibRun|

(larger versions below)

The magazine industry has been choking on giant horse balls lately, say industry experts, but ESPN has found the obvious solution: come out with a “body issue” and put Gina Carano topless on the cover.  My favorite part of it is that there’s an ever-so-faint dusting of camel toe.  Like they didn’t want it to reek of camel toe, so they just sort of sprayed the camel toe into the air and wafted it toward them.  What’s that you say?  This is a movie blog and not just a forum for my thoughts on camel toes?  Oh, well, uh, she’s also going to be in that Steven Soderbergh spy movie, Knockout.

“My feeling was, If I don’t do this, somebody else will,” says the Oscar-winning director. “I felt, somebody is going to look at her and go, ‘She should be in a movie!’ And I felt like, Why shouldn’t I be the person saying that?  If you start following the female mma fighters, Gina pops out pretty noticeably,” says Soderbergh [pointing to his boner]. “I’d been wanting to make a spy action film for a while, but hadn’t really determined what I was going to bring to it that would distinguish it. Then I thought, ‘Why don’t I just build it around her? She can actually break people in half.’ I was interested in doing something ultra-realistic.” [EmpireMag]

I love realism.  Why just the other day my friend was telling me about his interview at the CIA.  “So, Mr. Anderson,” they told him, “I see you already have a lot of experience as an analyst.  Plus you’ve spent a lot of time in the field, and, you speak fluent Arabic. That’s all great. But I’m gonna be honest with you, there’s another candidate out there in a sports bra who promised to choke me until I jizz myself.  I’m sure you understand.”  And you know what?  That candidate was me.

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(In retrospect, “Cutie McPretty” wasn’t the most intimidating nickname)

The last we heard about Rampage playing BA Baracus in the A-Team movie, The Sun had reported he’d been cast, then his publicist denied it.  His casting has since been de-facto confirmed as he pulled out (and Rampage hates pulling out) of his fight at UFC 107 so he could film the movie.  Which prompted a typical reaction from UFC president and awesome cuss-word-user Dana White:

“I hate it with a [expletive] passion…You’re a fighter; you’re not a movie star. It’s so [expletive] funny because fighters want to be movie stars, and movie stars want to act like they’re fighters. Get a [expletive] grip. You’re a fighter, and you’re (not) a [expletive] movie star. Alright?” [via Fightlinker]

Someone once gave the same speech to Kate Hudson.  In sexier news, Steven Soderbergh has cast Gina Carano in his aptly titled “Knockout,” which makes me worry that she won’t have time to film the movie I wrote for her, “Rear Naked Choke.”  (It’s autobiographical).

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Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• Louis CK has a new TV series coming to FX, with at least 12 episodes in development.  Watch it while eating dirt cookies (they’re a delicacy in some countries, you know). |WarmingGlow|
• 25 Awesome Protest Signs |HolyTaco|
• 50 reasons Gina Carano should stay out of the cage |Gunaxin|
• NSFW shower scene from the film Sorority Row |ScreenJunkies|
• The 12 Worst Fantasy First-Round Picks Ever |OpenSports|
• Video: “Denis Clemente’s Crazy HORSE Shot Off Scoreboard”.  Aww, come on guys.  The horse wasn’t hurting anybody up there. |HoopDoctors|
• If your show sucks, just add silicone. |InGameNow|
• The music industry: doomed, or screwed? |SmokingSection|

~ robopanda