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The magazine industry has been choking on giant horse balls lately, say industry experts, but ESPN has found the obvious solution: come out with a “body issue” and put Gina Carano topless on the cover. My favorite part of it is that there’s an ever-so-faint dusting of camel toe. Like they didn’t want it to reek of camel toe, so they just sort of sprayed the camel toe into the air and wafted it toward them. What’s that you say? This is a movie blog and not just a forum for my thoughts on camel toes? Oh, well, uh, she’s also going to be in that Steven Soderbergh spy movie, Knockout.
“My feeling was, If I don’t do this, somebody else will,” says the Oscar-winning director. “I felt, somebody is going to look at her and go, ‘She should be in a movie!’ And I felt like, Why shouldn’t I be the person saying that? If you start following the female mma fighters, Gina pops out pretty noticeably,” says Soderbergh [pointing to his boner]. “I’d been wanting to make a spy action film for a while, but hadn’t really determined what I was going to bring to it that would distinguish it. Then I thought, ‘Why don’t I just build it around her? She can actually break people in half.’ I was interested in doing something ultra-realistic.” [EmpireMag]
I love realism. Why just the other day my friend was telling me about his interview at the CIA. “So, Mr. Anderson,” they told him, “I see you already have a lot of experience as an analyst. Plus you’ve spent a lot of time in the field, and, you speak fluent Arabic. That’s all great. But I’m gonna be honest with you, there’s another candidate out there in a sports bra who promised to choke me until I jizz myself. I’m sure you understand.” And you know what? That candidate was me.
(In retrospect, “Cutie McPretty” wasn’t the most intimidating nickname)
The last we heard about Rampage playing BA Baracus in the A-Team movie, The Sun had reported he’d been cast, then his publicist denied it. His casting has since been de-facto confirmed as he pulled out (and Rampage hates pulling out) of his fight at UFC 107 so he could film the movie. Which prompted a typical reaction from UFC president and awesome cuss-word-user Dana White:
“I hate it with a [expletive] passion…You’re a fighter; you’re not a movie star. It’s so [expletive] funny because fighters want to be movie stars, and movie stars want to act like they’re fighters. Get a [expletive] grip. You’re a fighter, and you’re (not) a [expletive] movie star. Alright?” [via Fightlinker]
Someone once gave the same speech to Kate Hudson. In sexier news, Steven Soderbergh has cast Gina Carano in his aptly titled “Knockout,” which makes me worry that she won’t have time to film the movie I wrote for her, “Rear Naked Choke.” (It’s autobiographical).
Daily Circle Jerk Links:
~ robopanda
If Black Dynamite star Michael Jai White doesn’t become the next big action hero, the terrorists have won. This is the trailer for the direct-to-DVD fight flick, Blood and Bone. Starring MICHAEL JAI WHITE, as… ISAIAH BONE. You might also notice a couple cameos by professional giant black guys Kimbo Slice and Bob Sapp. But pay special attention to the 1:17 mark, where Michael Jai White KICKS FOUR GUYS IN THE FACE BEFORE HE HITS THE GROUND! OOH WHA-AA AA-AA!
White stars as an ex-con drawn into LA’s underground fight rings to fulfill a promise to a dead friend and leaves a pretty hefty count of broken bones and bloody noses behind him. [Twitch]
So basically, it’s like the black version of Never Back Down, which automatically makes it roughly 10 times cooler than Never Back Down. Plus, no Cam Gigandet, which is worth another 15. Oh, and Gina Carano guest stars, which means I get to post my favorite gif:
Penis… So confused…
The TV-to-film adaptation we’ve all been waiting for is finally here. No, not Arrested Development, dumbass, American Gladiators. I mean, no one in their right mind could watch that show and not think “Hey, this should be a movie!”
The film will be based on the TV show that first aired in 1988 and has been on the air every year except one during the past 20 years. Most recently, NBC aired a primetime installment in 2008. The show has aired in more than 90 countries, with the format adapted for the local market in 14 of them [in the Mexican version they shoot tacos instead of tennis balls -Ed.].
Former Legendary Pictures chief marketing officer Scott Mednick is producing “American Gladiators.” The goal is to create an action story that takes place inside the world Ferraro has created. “I look forward to creating a compelling story that launches a whole new set of characters,” Mednick said. [Variety]
Sources close to the project are describing it as “Like Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, except super gay and with giant Q-Tips.”
