They may not quote FilmDrunk in Matthew McConaughey’s full-page, for-your-consideration ad in Variety, but if he wins, I will almost certainly take all the credit. I hope this page was scented, like a perfume ad, but sweat and aftershave. [thanks, Larry]

MORNING LINKS
Review: Killing Them Softly, a Cinematic Motörhead Song |Film Drunk|

Frotcast 128: Burnsy’s Corner, Lists with Laremy |Frotcast|

The ‘Rock Is Dead’ Argument Is Dead Wrong. Here Are 12 Reasons Why. |UPROXX|

It’s been weeks and they still haven’t recovered from Corgi Friday being cancelled.
[via The Frogman]

David Blaine Ate Meryl Streep’s Wine Glass At A Party Last Night |Warming Glow|

Real-Life Eric Cartman Plays Canadian Pee-Wee Hockey, Is Not Hilarious |With Leather|

‘Pacific Rim’ Reveals A Whole Bunch Of Giant Robots |Gamma Squad|

Dr. Dre Rakes In $110 Million, Reigns As “The World’s Highest Paid Musician” |Smoking Section|

The Inner Tumult Of Alex Smith |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Viewing photos from way back when feels like entering the Twilight Zone |theChive|

21 GIFs Of Women’s Soccer Star Doing Yoga |Buzzfeed|

So Who Wants To See Lindsay Lohan Being Arrested For Punching A Chick In The Face? |The Superficial|

5 Stars Who Badmouthed Their Own TV |Mental Floss|

Super Mario Beads |Clip Nation|

Your Love Life As Told Through Pizza |College Humor|

Sophie Turner Continues To Have A Wonderful Instagram |IDLYITW|

How To Shop Costco Like Joe Biden |HuffPost|

The 3 Best And Worst Horror Remakes In Movie History |Screen Junkies|

Top 10 Star Trek time travel stories |Fark|

Feast Your Eyes On The Dead Sexy Cast Neil Gaiman Has Assembled For “Neverwhere” |Pajiba|

A Collection of the Best Fan-Made Dark Knight Rises Posters |Unreality|

Introducing the World’s Only Hot Magician |Brobible|

Welcome To The Internet, Cindy The Hiccuping Hypemom |High Definite|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
FAN US on Facebook. SUBSCRIBE to the Frotcast.

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YESH!

Sean Connery has tennis fever! Yesterday, Andy Murray broke Great Britain’s 76-year drought with a US Open win over Novak Djokovic in a finals match that lasted a record four hours and 54 minutes. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, why are you talking about tennis, homo?”

Haha, sorry, bros! It’s only because Sean Connery was there. He may be retired from acting (no word on whether he still stars in his wife’s paintings), but that just gives him more time to spend supporting his fellow Scots, like Andy Murray. “THAT’CH RIGHT, ANDY! SHOW THISH DIRTY SHLAV HOW WE DO IT IN GLASZHGOW! PISH OFF, DJOKO! YER MOTHER’SH A GYPSHY!”

Do I have a gif of Sean Connery fist-pumping like a champ? Of COURSE I do. This could be my finest work:

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CHEAP TRAFFIC-WHORING UPDATE: The other day I made the mistake of not turning Vanessa Hudgens’ striptease into a gif, but I’m not allergic to cash-money so I won’t be making the mistake of trying not to seem pervy ever again. Celebrate my lack of integrity here.

Oh right, the movie. So it seems like we’ve been hearing about Butter forever. Written by Jason A. Micellaf, it was a Black List script about a butter-sculpting contest as an allegory for the 2008 Democratic Primaries. Directed by Jim Field Smith (She’s Out of My League), it’s been almost a year since it played the Toronto Film Festival, but I guess The Weinstein Company wanted to save it for election season. Anyway, if I’m reading this correctly, the little black orphan girl is Barack Obama, Jennifer Garner is Hillary Clinton, Ty Burrell is Bill Clinton, and Olivia Wilde is a composite of Bill Clinton’s mistresses (probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about them). Rob Corddry is the comic relief, which makes him… Joe Biden, I guess? Yeah, let’s go with that.

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From the folks who brought you The FP and Klown comes yet another batshit-looking release called Miami Connection. Boob gifs. Mullets. Kung Fu. Synth pop. Florida. This I promise you, this post has everything.

Drafthouse Films, the film distribution arm of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, announced today their acquisition of North American rights to explosive ’80s martial arts gem Miami Connection. Directed by 9th degree black belt philosopher/author/inspirational speaker Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, the film tells the story of fearless synth rock band Dragon Sound as they embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice in the streets of Orlando. Now in HD from elements sourced by the America Genre Film Archive (AGFA), Miami Connection will have its official re-launch screening at this year’s New York Asian Film Festival on Saturday, July 7th (with Grandmaster Kim in attendance) and will return to cinemas, home video and debut on digital platforms in Q4 of 2012.

I know I say this all the time, but you had me at “crime-crushing justice on the streets of Orlando.” And if that doesn’t convince you, perhaps this gif will:

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I had some court stuff to take care of today, which is why, as you may have noticed, Burnsy was on FilmDrinking duties. I think he did a fine job, as always (finer, even – did you see those storyboards? Magnificent).. That said, some things in this world just demand to be giffed, and Matthe McConaughey nodding at Alex Pretty Fur in the Magic Mike trailer was one of them. So, consider this my contribution to FilmDrunk for the day. I call it “Motivational McConaughey.”

Have something you need to get done but can’t seem to find the inner strength? Motivational McConaughey will be that strength. When times were tough, and there were only one set of greasy footprints in the sand, well that’s because Motivational McConaughey was carrying you, in those chiseled pythons of his. Forever and ever, alright alright alright.