Dark Horse Comics is releasing a comic based on George Lucas’s rough draft for Star Wars that promises to deliver George Lucas’s original vision for Star Wars. I for one think it’s about time someone finally went back and revisited the Star Wars franchise to make it more the way George Lucas wanted it. I mean why hasn’t someone thought of this sooner?

It’s no April Fools’ prank! Dark Horse is honored to announce a dream project: working with J.W. Rinzler, executive editor at LucasBooks, and artist Mike Mayhew (Avengers) to adapt the rough-draft original screenplay which spawned the biggest franchise in film history!

Three years before his 1977 film, George Lucas put down on paper his first story set in a galaxy far, far away—a tale of fantastic adventures, daring escapes, “lazer swords,” romance, and monsters. A story of Jedi Annikin Starkiller and General Luke Skywalker, an alien named Han Solo, and evil Sith Knights. The screenplay was titled The Star Wars!

“I’m not sure where I first read about The Star Wars—it was years and years ago—but the idea of Luke Skywalker being an older Jedi General, and Han Solo being a six-foot-tall lizard, turned my Star Wars fan brain on its side,” said longtime Star Wars editor Randy Stradley. “I always assumed this would be one of those stories that would be ‘lost to history,’ so getting to work on bringing it to life is kinda like a dream come true.” [ComingSoon]

I’m amazed that George Lucas agrees to stuff like this, because from Greedo shot first, to “I love you” “I love you too,” to Darth Vader shouting “Noooo!”, to pretty much all of the prequels, it seems like every time you hear about going back to “George Lucas’s idea,” that idea turns out to be terrible. The man is at his best when he’s being heavily edited. I do enjoy the idea of Han Solo being a giant lizard, but I say that about everything.

LEIA: I love you!

HAN: (*ear-shattering shriek, disembowels goat with talons*)

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Last week, Vinnie brought us the mysterious story of a package that arrived at the University of Chicago admissions department, addressed to one Henry Walton Jones, Jr., or Indiana Jones as you and I jocks have taken to calling him. Of this strange piece of mail, our brave leader opined that the best explanation for it was simply viral marketing, which led to a number of commenters agreeing that this was something right out of the University of Chicago’s, um, book.

Of course, the rest of us quietly hoped that this was something bigger and better. Maybe it was the beginning of a new chapter of Indiana Jones, one that would make up for Shia LeBeouf swinging on vines through a jungle with a bunch of monkeys or the idea that hiding in a fridge can protect you from a nuclear blast. Maybe, just maybe, this was George Lucas’ and Steven Spielberg’s way of creating a new buzz for the next Indiana Jones adventure, in which our hero gives us the last hurrah that we so desperately deserve…

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When one mega-corporation acquires another supercorporation, we all already know the reason: because they could afford it. But for some reason, we always have to play this game where they send out representatives of the companies to give their best man speeches about all the reasons why these two faceless entities should join in holy matrimony and we pretend like we care. We know already. They both think they’re going to make money on the deal. They’re two lego pieces that fit together. Fine. But it’s always fun to see just how far they’ll go to sell us this sh*t.

Anyway, freshly-minted Lucasfilms President and Star Wars brand manager Kathleen Kennedy sat down with George Lucas to discuss the merger. Assorted quotes:

LUCAS: “Obviously, I’ve been talking about retiring for some years now…”

LUCAS: “I really wanted to put the company somewhere, in a large entity, that would protect it.”

Ooh, you mean, like… AN EMPIRE?

LUCAS: “There’s lots and lots of opportunity at Disney that we wouldn’t have at any other studio.”

LUCAS: “When I made Star Wars many years ago, everybody in Hollywood said ‘Well this is a movie Disney should’ve made.’”

KENNEDY: “Disney defines family entertainment, and in many ways, it’s the best possible company to take Star Wars into the future.”

LUCAS: “I’ve always said I wasn’t going to do more, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t turn it over to Kathy to do more. I have story treatments of [Episodes] seven, eight, and nine…”

OH GOD NO, SOMEBODY BURN THEM.

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Celebrity neighbor feuds are so common that it even has its own tag. First there was Quentin Tarantino complaining that his coked-up spider monkeys could hardly type amidst the noise of Alan Ball’s minah birds. Then it was Reese Witherspoon’s neighbors pissed about her menagerie of mini-donkeys. And don’t even get us started on Danzig and his infamous pile of bricks. Today, there’s news of a new neighbor feud, a long-running one, this time involving George Lucas and his neighbors in wealthy Marin County, California, just across the Golden Gate from FilmDrunk headquarters.

The long and short of it is, George Lucas wanted to build a state-of-the-art production complex on his ranch in San Rafael, but one of those proto-fascist homeowner’s associations that tells people what they can and can’t do on their own property shut him down. Lucas responded by following through on a threat to use the land for low-income housing instead. And to rich people, low-income housing is worse than warm gazpacho. “Muffy, come quick! The yacht’s covered in negro urine!”

Lucas withdrew his plans last month to build a large mission-style movie-making studio on Grady Ranch, [pictured, courtesy of Movies.com] blaming the Lucas Valley Estates Homeowners Association for being Nimbys and torpedoing it.

Several Lucas Valley Estates homeowners had, in fact, said that they considered the historic Lucas-owned farmland their back yards. They claimed the proposed 263,701-square-foot digital technology production complex was too large, would displace too much dirt, would change the course of a creek going through the area, create too much traffic and hadn’t been studied enough.

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It’s not the first time we’ve covered it, so by now you should know that Amanda Lucas, Star Wars George’s 30-year-old daughter (according to legend, he pulled her fully formed out of the pouch under his chin) could probably kick your ass. My fellow San Francisco-area jiu-jitsu practitioner had her fifth fight (fifth according to Sherdog, SI says it was her fourth, not sure why the discrepancy) on Saturday night, and even though her opponent was a 45-year-old Japanese pro wrestler who hadn’t competed in MMA since 2000, Lucas weren’t on no mercy mission, and she took that bitch down with a keylock in the third round for her third straight submission victory and the DEEP open-weight women’s title. According to SI, she plans to stay in Tokyo to support teammate Jake Shields at UFC 144 this weekend when he fights Sexyama.

As for Vader and the Storm Troopers, it isn’t always easy to figure out what the hell MMA writers are trying to say, but it sounds like Amanda wasn’t too excited about it, but reluctantly agreed to help promote the 3D Star Wars re-release in Japan. I guess that made her the heel in the fight.

“I’m not walking out with Darth Vader,” clarifies a polite, but adamant Amanda Lucas.
[...]
In October, despite Amanda making specific requests against it, Deep, the Japanese promotion she currently fights for, spliced one of the world’s most-recognized movie themes into her entrance music for her fight against Mika Harigai.
[...]
“Japanese fans are fanatical about Star Wars. I get it and I appreciate it,” the 30-year-old Amanda said. “I’m very proud of my family and my father’s accomplishments. It’s just about finding that good balance.”
[...]
One can draw conclusions from this matchup choice. Japanese audiences appreciate “good vs. evil” storylines in MMA as much as they do in pro wrestling. Amanda, a media darling at this point, said she wouldn’t be surprised if Darth Vader accompanies Motta to the cage. It won’t be a distraction; she respects that pageantry is encouraged in many facets of Japan’s culture, including its sports.

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