George Clooney’s first movie as a director was Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which was pretty solid, even if screenwriter Charlie Kaufman didn’t like the way he went with it. He followed that up with the critically-acclaimed Good Night and Good Luck (booooring…) and Leatherheads, an old-timey sh*tpile starring John Krasinski. Now he’s back sexing up the director’s chair in Ides of March, a political thriller based on the award-winning Beau Willimon play, Farragut North, which Clooney adapted with co-writer Grant Heslov. Baby Goose plays an idealistic campaign staffer for a first-time presidential candidate, played by George Clooney, who gets a “crash course on dirty politics.” Hey, girl, I know this negative campaigning’s really got you down, but cheer up, I wrote you a poem. It’s about spring.

Ides of March co-stars Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Marisa Tomei, and Paul Giamatti, which is a lot of talent to have in one room. Still, it could go either way. Clooney is one of those guys who might secretly be an idiot, but you’d never know because when you’re that handsome and charming, everything you say comes out sounding like genius insight. “My personal theory is that with the bigger bagels, you can fit more cream cheese.” Oh my God, isn’t he witty?!? Anyway, who am I kidding. I’d be happy if this film was just two hours of Baby Goose looking forlorn.

Aw, poor little butterscotch sundae, he looks so lonely! Quick, someone find Patches.

Fox Searchlight just released the first trailer for The Descendants, starring George Clooney, in the kind of quirky-but-heartfelt, non-traditional family dramedy you’re probably f*cking sick of seeing Fox Searchlight make.  But don’t let me put words in your mouth.  One reason not to dismiss this one as easily is that it’s from director Alexander Payne, of Election, Sideways, About Schmidt and producer of this year’s criminally-underseen Cedar Rapids.  You may recognize his patented “center-framed protagonist running” shot from Broderick in Election, Giamatti (and the naked guy) in Sideways, and probably someone I can’t remember in About Schmidt.  Dear N’Dugu: Do you think this will be any good? Or just good but kind of boring like Win-Win? Write soon. I’ve enclosed some rice.

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Here’s a guy rapping about Con Air.  It seemed like something you’d want to know exists. |via CinemaBlend|

Ben Affleck and George Clooney will wag your dog. Clooney is producing Argo, with Ben Affleck in negotiations to direct, based on a Wired article about how the CIA invented a fake sci-fi movie to rescue six diplomats taken hostage during the Iranian takeover of the American embassy in Tehran in 1979.  Wait, it’s not about Bawston?  Lame.  Did you get the hawstages, cawksuckah?  I’m puttin this whole embassy in my reahview. |THR|

Ralph Fiennes, Javier Bardem in Bond 23??? Earlier this week it was Bardem who’d been offered a role in Bond 23, and then late yesterday the news was that Ralph Fiennes had been offered one (a different part than Bardem, reportedly).   This is of course assuming that MGM has their sh*t together enough to actually make a movie, which seems anything but certain at this point.  I’ll tell you this, though, I will tongue kiss an old man’s balls before I ever pronounce Ralph Fiennes’ name “Rafe.”  Rafe?  Your name’s Ralph, dude.

Fonzi’s kid directed a movie:

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"TELL US WHO RAPED YOU!"

Among the leaked dispatches that came to light during the latest Wikileaks release was a cable from June 2009 detailing how access to American TV and films in Saudi Arabia is doing more to dissuade young people from becoming terrorists than anything else.  Among the TV shows mentioned were Friends, Desperate Housewives, The Late Show with David Letterman, and the CBS and ABC Evening News. After all, who cares about 72 virgins in the afterlife when you can have Matt LeBlanc NOW?

The upshot: American TV shows are much more effective than al-Hurra, a U.S.-funded news channel that often features interviews with U.S. politicians and plenty of programming with a pro-American slant.

“It’s still all about the war of ideas here, and the American programming on MBC and Rotana is winning over ordinary Saudis in a way that al-Hurra and other US propaganda never could,” the cable says. “Saudis are now very interested in the outside world and everybody wants to study in the US if they can. They are fascinated by US culture in a way they never were before.”

Wait, you mean our politicians weren’t the best representation of our people?  Hold on, let me write this down…  Right, we were here for the movies:

During the recent Eid holiday, Rotana’s ‘Fox Movies’ channel repeatedly aired two mawkish US dramas (again with Arabic subtitles) featuring respectful, supportive American husbands dealing with spouses suffering from addiction problems — in one case gambling (lost the kids’ college funds and then told her college professor husband it was because he was boring) and the other alcohol (smashing cars and china when she wasn’t assaulting the husband and child.) These films and others broadcast over the Eid offer models of supportive behavior in relationships, as well as exemplary illustrations of heroic honesty in the face of corruption (‘Michael Clayton’) and respect for the law over self-interest (‘Insomnia.’). [Yahoo]

Anyone have any idea what the college professor movie might be?  I’ve got nothing.  And are we sure these rock throwers weren’t just watching waiting for the inevitable honor killing?  Meanwhile, the CIA reports that the jihadists’ best weapon against us remains Valentine’s Day, starring Queen Latifah and Ashton Kutcher, to whom he refers as “a one-man Al Qaeda recruitment drive.”

JustJared today has the first pictures of Emma Stone going blonde for her role as Gwen Stacy in the upcoming Spider-Man reboot starring Scarfield. Trivia: She’s actually a natural blonde.  But does the carpet match her pubes?  Stay tuned! [more pictures in the slideshow]

George Clooney directing film version of Enron: The Musical. Playwright Lucy Prebble will adapt from her own play.  Some of the British people from the play are pissed that none of them will be involved in the film version, and they’ll probably be even more pissed when this fails miserably.  Unless you work in the Glee kids singing “Don’t Stop Believin’”, no one’s seeing this. |Guardian|

Kathryn Bigelow and Hurt Locker screenwriter Mark Boal are re-teaming. Boal and Bigelow are shopping an “international thriller” that would shoot before Bigelow’s Triple Frontier starts next Fall.  So far, all we know is that it’s based on a true story that appeared in print, and that “the narrative concerns black ops.”  Asked Brett Ratner, CAN THE BLACK OPS ALSO BE SASSY?? |Variety|

Neill Blomkamp reteaming with Sharlto Copley in the sci-fi/horror project Elysium, “an action-based film with sociopolitical themes.”  The concept is being shopped around town with every studio reportedly showing interest.   I’m all for sociopolitical themes, but unless they can be communicated through Sharlto Copley eating cat food and crying, I’m not interested. |ThePlaylist|

Jay Roach to direct a political comedy starring Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell, “about two candidates timed to 2012′s U.S. presidential election.  Remember that Roach has experience in this genre; he replaced Sydney Pollack as the director of HBO’s 2008 Emmy-winning dramedy Recount about the 2000 Bush vs Gore election.”  And he most recently directed Dinner for Schmucks and produced Little Fockers, so I guess the only thing missing is experience in comedy. |Deadline|

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