The nominees for the 84th Academy Awards gathered for the Oscar luncheon in Beverly Hills yesterday, and while I haven’t yet had the opportunity to attend one of these luncheons, I imagine everyone smells really nice and there are a lot of jokes about saving some food for Russell Crowe. But aside from the normal routine of the nominees being introduced and everyone gathering for photos, there wasn’t anything too noteworthy about yesterday’s event.

However, some of the actors in attendance should be a little worried about the upcoming British Academy of Film and Television Arts Awards on Feb. 12. It appears that the BAFTA awards will feature a new red carpet interviewer – Miss Piggy.

“Imagine the likes of Clooney, Dujardin, Fassbender, Oldman and Pitt achieving the very pinnacle of their careers by getting a chance to speak with the one and only moi — Miss Piggy,” she said.

“Naturally, I will be asking questions that only moi would dare to ask.” (Via the Hindustan Times)

First of all, hell yes. The Muppets should be involved with everything. In fact, if Statler and Waldorf aren’t signed for the Oscars broadcast, I may have to boycott this year. But I will live with the song “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets movie winning for best song so Kermit and the gang can accept. So make that happen, Academy.

Miss Piggy claims that she will be ruthless on the red carpet at the BAFTAs, so much that she even challenged George Clooney to a wrestling match.

“I don’t wrestle girlfriends. However, if George wants to wrestle, bring it on. Best two out of three falls? Winner gets a dinner?”

Just the prospect of that has me giggling with delight. After the jump, an interview of Miss Piggy discussing the red carpet at the BAFTAs and the Muppets’ nominated song.

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Baby don't hurt us.

While I sit here waiting for someone to finally give me the ultimate mashup of movie characters making fart noises, I suppose I can settle for today’s best effort of some of Hollywood’s hunkiest A-list male actors saying, “I love you.” There are also some people in this that have no business having ever been cast as a romantic lead *pauses screen, gives middle finger to Josh Radnor* but this post is all about what you ladies want today (or until the next post).

So why don’t you draw yourself a nice, hot bubble bath, pop a bottle of bubbly, strap on a blindfold, lay back and pretend like Matt Damon, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Colin Firth, Ben Affleck, Shia LeBeouf, Brad Pitt, Zac Efron, Leo DiCaprio, Robert Pattinson, that guy from Scrubs and Paul Rudd are saying those awesome three little words to you. Also, while you’re blondfolded, I’m going to steal your TV.

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"Oh, the Urban Outfitters accessories rack? Right over there."

Forget the Academy Awards, the Golden Globes or even the People’s Choice Awards. When it comes to determining who America’s favorite actor is, the only proper way to do it is with an online poll of 2,237 adults representing four age groups, conducted in just 7 days. And through that foolproof scientific method, we now know that Johnny Depp is America’s favorite actor for the second year running, according to the latest Harris Poll.

Better luck next year, Tom Sizemore!

Age, region, gender and political party and leanings mean different favorite actors. Men cite Clint Eastwood as their favorite while women say it is Johnny Depp. Echo Boomers (those aged 18-34), Gen Xers (aged 35-46) and Baby Boomers (aged 47-65) all say Johnny Depp is their favorite actor while for Matures (those aged 66 and older), George Clooney is their favorite.

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"The Baby Goose on the bus goes hunk, hunk, hunk!"

Opening in Wide Release This Weekend: The Ides of March, Real Steel

Opening in Limited Release This Weekend: The Human Centipede 2

FilmDrunk Recommends: 50/50

This is a pretty tame movie weekend despite huge star power, so the obvious expectation should be that The Ides of March will be the critical darling that is outperformed by Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots: The Movie because your kids think that a robot punching another robot in the balls is HILARIOUS. What say you, on with the lofty expectations?

The Ides of March

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 79% critics, 84% audience “want to see”

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“In a raw and riveting face-off in a hotel kitchen, Mike and Stephen have it out on issues that really are life-and-death. Clooney knows how to ignite sparks and build momentum. And he hands the terrific Gosling an all-stops-out role that challenges him on every level – his ravaged face traces the line from compromise to corruption.” – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

“Gosling is the standout among the A-list ensemble, delivering a riveting, intensely focused performance. He has a wonderful moment when Myers is faced with a fateful decision. The next scene is silent, a medium shot of him walking down the street. From the cadence of his walk, we know the choice he’s made. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an actor at work. – Colin Covert, Minnesota Star Tribune

Armchair Analysis: Nobody ravages Baby Goose’s face. This film is obviously going to receive high praise and generate a great deal of Oscar buzz, but is this really a great time for a political drama? I’d rather watch Pauly Shore in Hail to the Queef the way this country is going, but then… I just can’t say no to Silver Fox and Baby Goose.

Seriously, even my panties get moist looking at this picture…

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The 68th Venice Film Festival begins tomorrow, and the 11-day event will be highlighted by tomorrow’s highly-anticipated premiere of The Ides of March, a political drama starring George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, and a few thousand pairs of moist panties. Clooney and Baby Goose will hit the red carpet in Venice for the debut, and they’ll be followed by co-stars Paul Giamatti and Philip Seymour Hoffman, who will undoubtedly be pelted with rotten vegetables for being so damn unattractive.

Ides will be up against 22 other films for the festival’s Golden Lion award, but there’s no chance that any of them will have a cast as handsome as this. Even if Brad Pitt played every character in Moneyball, it wouldn’t hold a candle to The Ides of March. People keep talking about Madonna’s directorial effort W.E., starring James D’Arcy, but he sure as hell couldn’t break up a fight over artwork in the middle of a street.

Sadly, us ugly people can’t see Ides until October 7, so we’ll just have to hope that when the beautiful people step outside to have their rings kissed and velvet capes stroked, they’ll tell us of the spectacle that they witnessed, undoubtedly in something called 5D, since they were given 7 senses by the gods. Oh to be beautiful. In the meantime, I’ve included the trailer after the jump, and you can feel like royalty as you watch it while drinking a St. Ides Special Brew. Pinkies out.

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