Fox Searchlight’s Gentleman Broncos, directed by Napoleon Dynamite‘s Jared Hess and starring Flight of the Conchords‘ Jemaine Clement, opened this weekend on two screens, grossing $11,502 dollars.  Which isn’t  horrible in terms of per-screen average.  It was supposed to go wider this weekend, but after getting horrible reviews, it pulled out of first Chicago and then Dallas and now Seattle too (no word on whether it still plans squirt all over Tucson).  Here were some of the positive reviews:

“A juvenile, crass and silly mess that’s occasionally irritating to watch, intermittingly funny and over-the-top, but nonetheless amusing and wildly imaginative.” Source (6.25 out of 10)

“Its quirkiness preceding and very nearly swallowing it whole, Gentlemen Broncos is less warped than it thinks it is yet still provides enough bizarre, painstakingly designed schlock to tickle the willing.” Source (3 out of 5)

Roman Polanski with a bullhorn sez, “DID SOMEONE SAY ‘TICKLE THE WILLING?’”  Meanwhile, I think my favorite review was this one from UGO:

“Jared Hess is now, after Rudolf Hess, my most hated Hess.”

Ah, yes, what would we movie critics do without pointed Nazi references?  “If I were a holocaust Jew and had been given the choice between seeing this movie again and a shower, this reviewer would surely have chosen the shower.”  Anyway, don’t weep for Jared Hess, as he’s still rich in love and support from his family.  By which I mean he’s Mormon so I assume he has lots of wives.

(Get a job.)

The only major release this week is This is It, the Michael Jackson movie.  I have no interest in seeing it (not because of a knee-jerk about him being a pedophile or anything like that, I’m just really, really sick of hearing about him) and I can’t imagine why anyone would, but it already made $2.2 million.  And it’ll probably make a lot more because, hey, no competition.  The only good thing I can imagine about it is seeing the dedication “For Blanket.”

The big limited releases are Gentleman Broncos, which is looking like a stinker, and Boondock Saints II, which, as I’ve already noted, is like watching a gorilla finger paint.  Black Dynamite is still playing in New York, L.A., Atlanta, Chicago, Philadelphia, and Seattle.  Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s Friday and I’m going to go get drunk.  Oh, and here’s a picture a dog dressed like Jackie O.  Happy Halloween.

[via NYMag]

After the jump, I’ve got a brand new promotional clip from Gentleman Broncos, starring Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords.  To refresh your memory, Gentleman Broncos comes from Jared and Jerusha Hess, the mormon husband and wife filmmaking team behind Napoleon Dynamite.  Clement plays Dr. Ronald Chevalier, a fantasy novelist.  In this clip, he describes his creative process:

“To inspire myself, I turn to myself, and my own original compositions. This chord conjures up a family of electronic dogs, scavenging for a home. This suggests a planet, with 50 moons.  This, an android, who discovers feelings.”

In theory I know I should find this funny, but good god is it dry.  It almost makes me wish someone would get hit in the nuts, or a cross-dressing black guy in a fat suit would chase someone around with a rolling pin.  Oh lawdy, chile, I done tripped an’ fell on mah sweet potata pie, now mah britches is ruined!
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Mike White, the really pale dude from School of Rock (pictured), and Napoleon Dynamite team Jared and Jerusha Hess (who are Mormons, scientifically proven to be the whitest religion, even whiter than Southern Baptists and snake handlers*), will be collaborating on the upcoming comedy Gentleman Broncos.

The Hesses previously collaborated with White on Nacho Libre (fart noise).

The film returns to the indie NAPOLEON roots and follows a high school outcast who’s an aspiring fantasy author. He attends a fantasy convention to show off his work and finds his supposed masterpiece – "Yeast Lords" – ripped off by legendary novelist Ronald Chevalier, who has turned desperate for ideas.  [JoBlo]

After a lukewarm response to their last movie, this could be the Hess’ last chance to prove they’re not a one-trick pony.  Meanwhile, the guy who played Kip offered to blow me for crack money.  I let him do it, but I didn’t give him the money because what do I look like, an enabler? 

^{*The Heaven’s Gate cult also briefly challenged for the title}