When your movie includes Tom Cruise dangling from world’s tallest building (Tom Cruise is that spec next to the helicopter), it seems like a no-brainer to include that in the marketing material. But so far, Paramount seemed content to play up other aspects of Mission Impossible IV (“GHOST PROTOCOL!”), such as Tom Cruise wearing a hoodie, or Tom Cruise wearing white pants. (“This summer… Justice shops at Banana Express!”). Finally they’ve hit us with the money shot in the newest poster, which shows Tom Cruise climbing the 2,717-foot Burj Khalifa building in Dubai. So big ups to Tom for having the massive balls it took to do this, even if he is wearing capri pants. Or are those pedal pushers? I confess I’m a little rusty in my three-quarter length pants vocabulary. In any case, it opens December 21st.

“Must… keep… climbing. Too many… gays down there…”

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This week in This Week in Posters: we’ve got a bundle of new Harold and Kumar Posters, Mission Impossible IV, Margin Call, Katherine Heigl rears her ugly head, and most importantly, DOLPHIN TALE! Enjoy.

Holy. Sh*t. Now, I know most of you probably aren’t as excited for this movie as I am (see also: my favorite gif), but between the little boy touching the robot-tailed dolphin’s nose in an homage to the Sistine Chapel and the delightful German translation (“HERR DOKTOR! FIX MEIN FREUND DER DELFIN! FIX MEIN DELFIN VIST EINE SCHPROCKETS!!“), this poster made me squeal so hard I nearly passed out. THE DOLPHIN’S BIONIC TALE HELPS TO INSPIRE INJURED SOLDIERS! A NE’ER-DO-WELL GETS A SECOND CHANCE AND A LITTLE BOY LEARNS THE POWER OF LOVE! THANK YOU, MARINE BIOLOGIST HARRY CONNICK JR.!

“Nach der wunderbaren, ze liefenchangen dem delfin!”

“Nein! Dem delfin eez MEINliefenchangen!”

(*sprockets dance*)

Mark my words, this is going to be the movie of the year. Dolphin Tale is going to be so inspirational it makes Seabiscuit look like a Dogme movie. (thanks to Stinky Peet for the fake German)

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Paramount released this new publicity still from Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, starring Tom Cruise, Paula Patton, Simon Pegg, and Jeremy Renner, from director Brad Bird (Ratatouille), opening December 21st. Here we see Cruise’s Ethan Hunt grilling Renner’s Brandt on whether there are indeed gays in there.

This Christmas… Justice wears white pants.

"Are you ready to rock???" "AS LONG AS THERE AREN'T ANY GAYS IN THERE!"

Here’s the first picture of Tom Cruise in Rock of Ages, an adaptation of the Broadway musical of the same name in which Cruise plays heavy metal singer Stacee Jaxx.  Co-starring Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand, Rock of Ages comes from criminally under-recognized hack Adam Shankman, who started his career as a choreographer, then made The Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez, then was allowed to direct six more movies.  It’s one of the all-time great Hollywood success stories. Rock of Ages centers around a love story between characters played by Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough, set during “the rock music scene of 1987.”  Said Shankman of casting Boneta:

“It’s that feeling you get when you realized you’ve discovered lightning in a bottle,” Shankman just told me about Boneta’s audition. “It reminds me of when Zac Efron auditioned for Hairspray, Channing Tatum for Step Up and Liam Hemsworth auditioned for The Last Song. When the guy walks in, the guy walks in!”

This is going to be worse than Chernobyl.

In a desperate hope that people might starting giving a sh*t about the franchise, Paramount has cast The Hurt Locker‘s Jeremy Renner in Mission Impossible IV.  It shoots in the fall with Brad Bird (Ratatouille, The Incredibles) directing and JJ Abrams producing.  Jeez, imagine if we could get this level of talent working on something that wasn’t a fourth sequel to an adaptation of a 60s TV show, huh?

Renner will star alongside Tom Cruise in the fourth installment of a franchise that will begin production in the fall. It is the second major role for Renner coming out of his  turn as the reckless explosives specialist in the Oscar-winning The Hurt Locker. Renner also will star in Marvel Studios’ The Avengers, playing the role of Hawkeye. Renner will next be seen in the Ben Affleck-directed The Town, the GK Films-produced drama that Warner Bros opens September 17.

Paramount has struggled to find the right co-star to play an operative opposite Cruise, and one factor was to selecting an actor who could potentially carry the series down the line, should Cruise’s Ethan Hunt character not continue to be the emphasis. [Deadline]

“Down the line”?  Jesus christ, you’ve already got four of them.  How many franchises produced good movies after the fourth?  The only one I can think of is Phattys Rhymes and Dimes, and as good as Jeremy Renner is, he’s no Brian Pumper.  For his part, Cruise is said to be delighted by the casting of Renner (who was “outed” by the National Enquirer earlier this year), inviting his new co-star out to watch the latest matches of American football at the local tavern, as long as there aren’t any gays in there.