"Read between the lines, bro."

I didn’t read the books, so I don’t know that much about The Hunger Games, directed by Pleasantville/Seabiscuit‘s Gary Ross, other than that Lionsgate wants it to become the next Twilight. Judging by the just-released trailer, it seems to be severely lacking in vampires, abstinence, heartburn faces, or even the most vaguely ethnic temptation wolves. But it does have some neato made-up names you could imagine on a Duggar or Palin, like “Prim,” and “Katniss.” Still, it’s no “Renesmee.” That’s like a combination of “Renee” and “Esmee!”

Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the evil Capitol of the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. A twisted punishment for a past uprising and an ongoing government intimidation tactic, The Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which “Tributes” must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). If she’s ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.

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The first teaser for The Hunger Games premiered last night at the MTV VMAs (watch it below), and you could practically hear MTV praying for this to become the new Twilight. It was directed by Gary Ross (Seabiscuit, Pleasantville) and stars nubile Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence, so at least that’s an upgrade over Pouty McLipbite. According to IMDB, it also stars Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson, and Elizabeth Banks. Yay, Caucasians!

In a dystopian future America is now Panem, a nation made up of twelve impoverished districts, all ruled by a militant capitol where technology and excess are a way of life. Every year the capitol holds a televised battle royal, where one male and female teenager from the twelve districts must battle to the death for the pleasure of capitol. When a young hunter from District 12 named Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) sacrifices herself to save her little sister from the games, she embarks on a brave fight for survival that could change a nation. [Screenrant]

When I first heard about it, I thought it sounded like your basic post-apocalyptic, battle-to-the-death movie that they release every four months. But this time, it’s based on a book. Ooh la la!

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The word around the campfire today is that Sony is developing a Venom movie as a Spider-Man 3 spinoff.  Venom, who was played by Topher Grace and was such an interesting part of Spider-Man 3 that I didn’t even remember it, actually died in the movie.  But that hardly matters.  As Rob Lowe’s character says in Thank You for Smoking, “So what?  That’s one line of dialog.  ‘Thank god we invented the… you know, whatever device.’”

Gary Ross [Pleasantville, Seabiscuit] is writing “Venom” as a potential directing vehicle. Ross is already writing “Spider-Man 4” for the studio.  In the comics, Venom is a gooey alien parasite that bonds with Peter Parker and later his newsroom rival, among other people, becoming one of more popular villains in “Spider-Man’s” rogue gallery.  Topher Grace portrayed the character in the 2007 movie, which ended with both the human and the alien symbiote apparently destroyed in an explosion. [Variety]

So… am I supposed to be more or less excited about this than about Spider-Man 4?  Because I gotta tell you, I’m feelin pretty shrugswardly about both of them.  And I should be the target audience.  I’m not even the kind of guy who (*air quotes*) had sex with (*air quotes*) girls in (*air quotes*) high school.

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Tobey Maguire will star in The Crusaders, a film not about righteously slaughtering Muslims, but rather the landmark 1954 supreme court decision Brown vs. Board of Education.  Seabiscuit-Pleasantville director Gary Ross will direct a script by Recount‘s Danny Strong.

Maguire would play Jack Greenberg, who, as an idealistic lawyer fresh out of law school, joined with NAACP Legal Defense Fund head and future Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall to win a Supreme Court case that ruled segregation in American schools illegal. …The project [will be] based on Greenberg’s memoirs "Crusader in the Courts." [Variety]

The Supreme Court’s decision desegregated public schools, paving the way for an education system whose quality and egalitarianism even today are the envy of countries all over the former Yugoslavia.  In any case, I figure you have to be a pretty humble guy to name your memoir "Crusader in the Courts".  Coincidentally, the memoirs of yours truly will be hitting bookshelves any day now.  Keep a lookout for Rhinoceros on the Toilet, available wherever fine memoirs are sold.