Warner Bros. Targets New Audience

Written by Ashley Burns / 07.26.10

3D

Over the weekend, Chris Nolan’s Inception held on to the top spot at the box office, beating out Angelina Jolie in skin tight outfits in Salt, but Leo DiCaprio and Co. shouldn’t get too comfortable at the top. This Friday, Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore hits theaters in – you guessed it – 3D action. To celebrate this sequel, nine years after the original, Warner Bros. held a special screening for dogs at the Empire Cinema in Leicester Square. Dogs, of course, are experts at pulling the popcorn trick on themselves.

The original Cats and Dogs grossed $200 million worldwide, and with FilmDrunk favorite Nick Nolte leading the voice cast on this live action romp, we should expect $200 million in liquor store robberies. Nolte is joined by James Marsden, Christina Applegate and a slew of other people you’ve heard of and would say, “Look at that guy getting work” if I listed all of them.

Tell us why this sequel is so special, studio press release via Variety:

Read the rest of this entry »

17 Comments TAGS: , , , ,

C-Tate To Avatar In New Avatar Avatar

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.24.10
"Yo girl, I'm orbitin' Uranus."

"Yo girl, I'm orbitin' Uranus."

[It wouldn't be a Channing Tatum story without commentary from C-Tates himself.  Enjoy.]

Yo girl, check this sh*t out… Space. Da final frontier. Deez are the voyages of the C-Tate Enterthighs. Haha, AWWWWWWWW YEAH, YA BOI! C-TATES! Yo girl, I ain’t get yo hopes up makin’ you think I was goin’ all Star Trek on yo fine ass, right? Nah, I’m all up in the stank on dis new science friction dig called Ion, for real. It ain’t like dat Saturn yo moms drives neither, all breakin’ down when she’s drunk and sh*t. Yo girl, dis movie’s like the next Avatar, ya heard?

Check it, I play dis gettin’ ass-tronaut, and I’m like, Yo I loves this girl, but she’s all dyin’ and it’s whack cuz I wants to keep hittin’ the bootay, and she’ll probably be played by some skank trick like Blake Lively, and she’ll be all like, Yo C-Tate you such a good actor, why don’t you put it in my butt? And I’m all like, Yo girl, I’m for realz leadin’ man type now, proper. So I’m like jumpin’ ‘round dimensions and sh*t, hoppin’ from Earf to Earf, right? And I’m all up in some alien slizzies, deep impact you know this!

Yo Heat Vision Blog, prepare for re-entry wit yo exclusive ass:

Read the rest of this entry »

11 Comments TAGS: , , ,

Doug Liman Fingered for ‘Musketeers’

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.02.10

musketeers

Some stories need to be told again and again, so Warner Bros. is currently in talks with Bourne Identity director Doug Liman to once again capture the tale of the Three Musketeers. This version of Alexandre Dumas’ legendary story of Athos, Porthos, Aramis and their Mexican cousin Picos de Gallos, is currently uncast, as WB tries to lock down the predecessor to the Paul Greengrass seizure-cam Bourne films.

Take it away Variety:

Project was set up at the studio earlier this year by producer Lionel Wigram, who hired screenwriter Peter Straughan (“The Men Who Stare at Goats”) and Bridget O’Connor to update the swashbuckling tale. Wigram, who also produced “Sherlock Holmes” for Warners, has a first-look deal with the studio.

But come on, Warner Bros. If you’re going to remake a movie that’s been remade 600 times, you need something different. You need to take it to a new level. You need to… CHANGE THE GAME. But won’t someone step forward and change the Three Musketeers game already?

Brit helmer Paul Anderson is also prepping a 3D version of the tale for Summit with the backing of Germany’s Constantin.

Oh snap! I can read the New York Post headline now: “Limey Upstages Liman.” Paul W.S. Anderson is currently wrapping up Death Race: Frankenstein Lives and Resident Evil: Afterlife. Before he gets to work on his Musketeers project, he’s bringing the iconic Nintendo video game Castlevania to the big screen. I guess what I’m trying to say here is *long fart noise*.

- Burnsy

14 Comments TAGS: , , , , ,

HURT LOCKER IS A GAME CHANGER NOW TOO

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.03.10

hurt-locker-JeremyRenner
(When Jeremy Renner goes down on a woman, he doesn’t do it half way)

My Google alert for “game-changer” went off another 100 times this morning, and surprisingly, one of the articles it pinged wasn’t about James Cameron.  It was about The Hurt Locker.  From NY Daily News:

Nominated yesterday for nine Academy Awards — tying “Avatar” — Kathryn Bigelow’s action drama may be a game-changer, [You said the secret word! You said the secret word! *flails around in circles*] an Iraq film that’s a true artistic success, if not a financial one. (The movie, now on DVD, has taken in less than $20 million since its limited release last summer, just about breaking even.)

Though the film is smart and gripping, one of its greatest strengths is that it doesn’t traffic in classic war-movie stereotypes (wide-eyed recruits, grizzled vets, bullet-filled battles). The patrols that Best Actor nominee Jeremy Renner and his team go on as bomb disposal experts in 2004 Baghdad rarely put them into traditional combat. There is instead a constant, unseen tension that breeds a kind of adrenaline addiction.

You! She learned it from watching you, James!  *sponsored by the Partnership for a game-changer-free America*

On a serious note, hearing that The Hurt Locker barely broke even makes my eyelid twitch.  There is nothing about that movie that wouldn’t play to a broad audience.  Any theater owner who wouldn’t play it should have their balls removed, as they clearly aren’t using them anyway.  God, it makes me so mad. I’ve got half a mind to punch my kitty-of-the-month calendar right in its stupid, furry face.  Auugggghhh! I’m so full of impotent rage!!    *drinks coffee really fast*

26 Comments TAGS: , , ,

Sign Up

Follow Us