The Coen Brothers are currently writing a remake of Gambit, which is sadly not another X-Men spinoff, but a remake of a 1966 Michael Caine/Shirley McClaine film set to be directed by The Last Station‘s Michael Hoffman.  The last time the Coens wrote a movie they didn’t direct was 1985′s Crimewave for Sam Raimi (unless you count Ethan’s co-writing credit on The Naked Man, about a wrestling chiropractor played by Michael Rapaport.

Aaaanyway, Gambit is set to star Colin Firth, and now, Deadline reports, Cameron Diaz has hopped aboard.

Firth plays a London art curator who plans to con a wealthy collector into buying a phony Monet painting. He enlists a Texas steer roper (Diaz) to pose as a woman whose grandfather liberated the painting at the end of WWII. [Deadline]

Normally I don’t find Cameron Diaz’ acting terribly distracting, and since it’s quite possible that I too will be old one day (the jury’s still out, really), it doesn’t feel right to rip on her for being old.  However, I will say that there comes a time when you probably shouldn’t be playing the fresh-faced new secretary anymore, and that time is right around your 37th birthday.  I don’t know if that means she should be playing a Texas steer roper, but at least she isn’t playing a “precocious young steer roper.”   She doesn’t seem very country, but compared to Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz is Richard Petty.

Sidenote: If you turn off the lights and say those three names three times into a mirror, a demon will spit tobacco juice in your latte.

Macgruber has two new trailers. I didn’t feel like posting them today because I’ve already posted like eight of these, and the new one is a PG version.  Which means they refer to Val Kilmer’s character, Dieter von Cunth, as “He goes by the name Dieter.”  Are we that puritanical that we can’t even say “Cunth”?  I know  people whose actual last names are “Kuntz” and “Slutsky”.  Crap, now I’m too busy giggling to remember what my point was. |ComingSoon|

Doug Liman may direct a Gambit movie based on a Coen Brothers’ script.  The script is a remake of a 1966 film in which Caine “played a cat burglar who tries to rob a billionaire of his priceless statue and enlists the help of a waitress who is a dead ringer for the victim’s late wife.”  Wait, what?  No exploding playing cards based on the comic-book character?  Pass.  Doug Liman was also listed as an executive producer on the Knight Rider TV remake, proving that no one in Hollywood ever fails at anything badly enough to get fired.|Deadline|

Ang Lee will direct Life of Pi IN 3D!  A good chunk of the book is kind of like Castaway, but with an Indian boy stuck on a life boat with a zebra, a hyena, and a tiger.  So, uh… good luck with that. |IndieWire|

Sharlto Copley says the District 9 sequel shoots in two years.  “There’s a million ways you can go. Neil’s actually very interested in prequels as well.  Neil wants it and I want it. Neil’s doing another film first. Then I think if everything goes according to plan we’ll do the second film in about two years time. That story can go in so many different ways. There’s a whole universe. I’m sure a lot of writers say that, but we actually have an entire universe.”  Do you?  As much as everyone throws that around, does anyone actually know what the f*ck that even means?  Whatever, dude.  Just explode some more prawns and everything’s cool.  |Empire|

_{Wolverine is Homophobic Turtle’s favorite character.}

After the jump, I’ve got the brand new trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, with lots more footage of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool, Taylor Kitsch as Gambit, and… uh… Will.i.am (I want to disembowel someone with a claw hammer every time I have to type that stupid f-cking faggity name) as John Wraithe/Kestrel/some kind of black, gay cowboy.  Needless to say, I don’t have high hopes for this movie.  For one thing, it’s a Fox movie and Fox’s execs breastfed lead paint as children (how else do you explain this poster?).  For another, it’s got a goddamned Black Eyed Pea in it.  AGAIN.  Having a Black Eyed Pea in your movie is the unwanted gay advance of death. What idiot thinks this is a good idea?  The comic book crowd is guaranteed to hate it, and Black Eye Peas fans aren’t showing up in droves to watch their favorite singer pretend to be someone else.  I like the Misfits, doesn’t mean I want to watch Glenn Danzig play Thor.  (though that actually might be kind of awesome.)

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^{Homophobic Turtle sees nothing wrong with flexing and grimacing… though his shell feels harder all of a sudden.}

I’m cautiously optimistic about the Wolverine movie.  But it’s hard not to notice that the new trailer has more grimacing and flexing in it than Everybody Does Raymond (great flick, btw).  I know Wolverine’s supposed to be a really manly dude and all, but there’s a fine line between acting really manly and acting like a gay cocktease. I mean… so I’ve heard. From a homosexual. Who I stress, I’m just friends with.  GRRR, WRESTLING PARTNER!

Also: Fox made this. Ruh roh. (Video below)

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There have already been three X-Men movies, and even while the last one was pulling random mutants like a dude who throws sticks and a gay guy with angel wings out its ass, there was no Gambit.  Gambit’s finally in the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and here we have our first picture. As you can see, he’s played by Canadian Taylor Kitsch, previously of Friday Night Lights. I think the character would be more fun if instead of cards he carried around a sack full of baby chicks

[Empire via Wearemoviegeeks]