My mind is blown anew pretty much any time Miley Cyrus opens her mouth. “This chick is famous for singing?” I ask myself every time I hear that grating voice of hers. She sounds like a horse kicked her in the face and she swallowed her nose. UNPLUG YOUR DAMNED NOSE! Anyway, it seems I’m not alone in my bafflement, as Karl Stefanovic of Australia’s Nine News morning program does a pretty good Miley Cyrus impression of his own. And let’s face it, everything’s funnier with an Australian accent. (“Beautiful and talented,” really?).

In my Karl Stefanovic research, I discovered that he’s won a “Gold Logie,” “considered by some the most prestigious award in the Australian television industry.” My God, that is the most Australian-sounding thing I’ve ever heard.

“Yeh, mate, the Gold Logie. It comimorahtes the tahme Big Bill Rogahs wiz voted loudest cattle drovah, and awl the blokes from Maroolabah hocked gobbahs on ‘is jumpah. Big Bill’s woidely considahed oztraalia’s fihst news anchah, on account of how ‘e’d take the piss outta everyone. We’ve been givin’ the gold logie evah since that day, back in noint-een eighty two.”

UPDATE: How did I not realize this was the same guy who told the Dalai Lama pizza joke? This guy rules.

OOOOH WHA-AH AA-AAT do we have here? That’s right, it’s MMA! With MOTORCROSS BIKES FLYING OVER THE CAGE!

This hybrid event was called ‘Backflips & Beatdowns 2′ and it was held in Billings, Montana. It all went down this past weekend and it featured quads and motorcycles jumping off an incredibly high ramp that was placed directly next to an MMA cage.[MiddleEasy]

And just when you think it COULDN’T GET MORE XXXTREEME, that’s when we bring in THE SHARK TANK FULL OF SLUTS! Sponsored by Monster Energy Drink and Vivid Video, it’s SLUT SHARK CAGE TANK BATTLE BIKE 7!!! You won’t know whether to backflip, beatdown or beat off! THE BADDEST BIKES! THE CRAZIEST FIGHTS! THE SLUTTIEST SHARKS! JESUS DIDN’T TAP! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! (*explosion sound*) (*toilet flush*) (*wilhelm scream*)

NOT PHOTOSHOPPED

Okay, okay, I made up that last part about the sharks. But if you enjoy sweaty shirtless men punching each other in the face and wrestling as much as *I* do, come check out our UFC 146 Live Thread over at WithLeather, which I’ll be co-hosting with my cyber-grappling buddy, fighter and writer Danny Boy Downes. It starts tomorrow night at PUNCH o’clock, sucka.

If you’ve been listening to the Frotcast, you know one of our favorite things ever are those isolated vocal tracks that have been going around the internet. It started with David Lee Roth singing his own back-up on Runnin’ with the Devil (OOOH BABY YOU KNOW I AIN’ LYIN AAAAAH AHAAAAAAAAA!), and it got even hotter this week with the guy from Smash Mouth (CALIFONYA GOT SUNSHINE! HANGIN’ OUT WITCHO FRIENDS!). Sorry, Steve Harwell, you are forever “the guy from Smash Mouth.” In any case, someone took the two tracks and did the obvious thing and cut them together. Two great tastes that go well together! It’s exactly what you’d expect, and I cannot stop laughing.

This is neither here nor there, but if I ever get rich, I’m going to pay Fred Schneider from the B-52s to follow me around, narrating everything I do. “He SAID he WANTS, a CUP of COFFAAAAYYYY!”

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It’s been a busy week in Busey news (see: Gary Busey plays a pro-wrestling vampire, Gary Busey gets into a fist fight over what kind of couches they have in heaven), so I thought this week, in lieu of a Friday Free For All video, I’d present to you instead an out-of-context word from Gary Busey. Sort of like a Moment of Zen on the old Daily Show.

Here it is, your out-of-context word with Gary Busey:

This has been: Your out-of-context word from Gary Busey.

By the way, have I ever told you want “panda” means, Butthorn? PANDA: Plush Asexual Nougaty Dream Animal, PANDA. Speaking of the Beatles, you wanna buy a suitcase full of panda meat? (*smoke bomb, jumps through plate-glass window*)
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Here’s the latest from our friends at 5secondFilms. It stars Weird Al Yankovic, it’s called ‘Weird Owl,’ and I think you’d have to agree that it’s one of the finest films in the history of five-second cinema. I’d like to think it was heavily influenced by my own zero-second film, Max Von Sea Doo. I watched this with the director’s commentary on, and I learned that Weird Owl actually comes from a whole family of actors.  His cousin was the eagle who stole Sandra Bullock’s Blackberry in The Proposal.