As everyone expected since three seconds after it happened, Kai the Homeless Hitchhiking Hatchet Hero (yes, I know that he prefers to be known as “home-free,” not “homeless,” but it’s a little late for that) has spawned his very own autotune (well, multiple autotunes, this one courtesy of the Gregory Bros). It’s not really surprising that it lends itself well to autotune, since Kai prefaced his interview with a fourth-wall-breaking inspirational message that wouldn’t have been out of place as the spoken-word bridge of any up-with-people pop song. And of course, the interview had a natural chorus, and I think we all already knew what it was. SMASH SMASH SUH-MAAAASH.
I love Kai, but I am a little concerned that all this is going to ruin his life. Above almost all else, the life of a chilled-out drifter relies on anonymity. So as much as I want to know more about him, his message is more powerful if “Kai” remains but a last-nameless, exact-ageless idea, roaming from town to town inspiring the populace with his beautiful words and bashing sex offenders’ heads in with camping tools. It’s important we savor this moment, while his only outstanding warrant is for keeping it real. Be excellent to each other, bros.