A week ago, I’d still be convinced this whole Chet Haze thing was an elaborate joke.  I mean, come on, if someone told you to think of the whitest, most un-street background for a fictional rapper, “son of Tom Hanks who attends Northwestern and is named Chet” would be right up there near the top behind one of the Duggars. (Though I could easily imagine a Juggalo Duggar).  He seems like the personification of the fictional persona Burnsy has created for C-Tates.  But to date, as far as anyone can tell, Chet Haze is serious.  Between almost-too-good-to-be-real Tweets such as:

• “Nothin on my mind but the dimesack we blazed”
• “Flippin thru an issue of The New Yorker right now feelin real Waspy lol”
• “Red bull is the henessey of energy drinks”
• and, “Traffic, traffic, looking for my chapstick”

…he announced via his recently-verified Twitter account that he’ll be playing the SXSW fest next month.  He also recently did an interview with Vice for which they met at a Whole Foods. The interviewer thinks Chet is for real, but possibly the “least self-aware person on Earth.”  Some excerpts from that:

Vice: Hi Chet. Tell me about yourself.
Chet Haze: I’m 20 years old, I’m a student at Northwestern University. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and er, I’m a rapper. I make hip-hop.

What are you studying?
Theater. [PERFORMANCE ART! -Ed.]

What made you decide to become a rapper?
It was out of my love and passion for hip-hop, it just happened. It wasn’t a conscious decision, there wasn’t like, a moment with me where I was like, this is what I wanna do. So, it is what I do ya know? I make music.

Talk me through a typical day for Chet Haze.
I go to my classes during the day, I spend some time just chilling, living the college life, doing the social thing. I’m in a fraternity, any other time I have I spend in the studio, making music.

We don’t have fraternities in the UK. I only really know what they are from movies. It’s a bunch of sporty people getting drunk from those red plastic cups and picking on nerds, right?
Haha, it’s basically a group of people who are all really good friends and they all have your back. Ya know?

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At the hotel afterparty following the Horror Hound Weekend in Indianapolis this weekend, someone dared Corey Haim to rap, which makes complete sense considering the people there were by definition fans of things that are horrible.  Haim accepted, because what has he got to lose, and busted some rhymes.  I mean, I guess he rhymed, you can’t really hear anything he says. The guy with the guitar and his friend on the djembe sort of drowned out the vocals.  Which I suppose is for the best.  You can’t have a white-boy jam without a djembe.

[via BloodyGoodHorror]