Fox Searchlight just released the first trailer for The Descendants, starring George Clooney, in the kind of quirky-but-heartfelt, non-traditional family dramedy you’re probably f*cking sick of seeing Fox Searchlight make.  But don’t let me put words in your mouth.  One reason not to dismiss this one as easily is that it’s from director Alexander Payne, of Election, Sideways, About Schmidt and producer of this year’s criminally-underseen Cedar Rapids.  You may recognize his patented “center-framed protagonist running” shot from Broderick in Election, Giamatti (and the naked guy) in Sideways, and probably someone I can’t remember in About Schmidt.  Dear N’Dugu: Do you think this will be any good? Or just good but kind of boring like Win-Win? Write soon. I’ve enclosed some rice.

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Fox Searchlight’s Gentleman Broncos, directed by Napoleon Dynamite‘s Jared Hess and starring Flight of the Conchords‘ Jemaine Clement, opened this weekend on two screens, grossing $11,502 dollars.  Which isn’t  horrible in terms of per-screen average.  It was supposed to go wider this weekend, but after getting horrible reviews, it pulled out of first Chicago and then Dallas and now Seattle too (no word on whether it still plans squirt all over Tucson).  Here were some of the positive reviews:

“A juvenile, crass and silly mess that’s occasionally irritating to watch, intermittingly funny and over-the-top, but nonetheless amusing and wildly imaginative.” Source (6.25 out of 10)

“Its quirkiness preceding and very nearly swallowing it whole, Gentlemen Broncos is less warped than it thinks it is yet still provides enough bizarre, painstakingly designed schlock to tickle the willing.” Source (3 out of 5)

Roman Polanski with a bullhorn sez, “DID SOMEONE SAY ‘TICKLE THE WILLING?’”  Meanwhile, I think my favorite review was this one from UGO:

“Jared Hess is now, after Rudolf Hess, my most hated Hess.”

Ah, yes, what would we movie critics do without pointed Nazi references?  “If I were a holocaust Jew and had been given the choice between seeing this movie again and a shower, this reviewer would surely have chosen the shower.”  Anyway, don’t weep for Jared Hess, as he’s still rich in love and support from his family.  By which I mean he’s Mormon so I assume he has lots of wives.

Fox Searchlight is negotiating for the rights to a biopic about The Ramones, which is awesome because they make by far my favorite t-shirts at Target. Great logos.

The specialty division is in negotiations to board a project about the life of the Ramones, based on a memoir titled “I Slept With Joey Ramone” by the musician’s brother — and, notably, featuring the band’s tunes. Written by Joey Ramone’s brother Mickey Leigh and longtime punk writer and Ramones chronicler Legs McNeil, the book centers on the life of Joey Ramone, aka Jeffrey Hyman.  The memoir is set to be published by Simon & Schuster imprint Fireside in December.  Manager-producer Rory Rosegarten is a former exec producer on “Everybody Loves Raymond” who negotiated several years ago to buy the rights to the book as it was being written and, most critically, the rights to the music. [Variety]

Of course, there was already Rock N Roll High School (which Howard Stern wants to remake — with script by Alex Winter!), and the 2004 documentary End of the Century, so one wonders why we’d need a biopic. Also, almost the whole band is dead. But hey, those t-shirts ain’t gonna sell themselves, right?  After all, this a a producer on Everybody Loves Raymond we’re talking here.  Maybe they could call it Everybody Loves Raymones. Oof, it hurt to type that.  I apologize.  Also, there’s this:

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First of all, I’m not a Diablo Cody hater. Aside from the annoyingly kitschy dialog at the beginning and the overbearing hipster rock throughout (whose inclusion probably had nothing to do with Cody), I actually enjoyed Juno.  There, I said it.  Still, this story’s about a movie I’m pretty sure they’ve already made 10 times.

Fox Searchlight has acquired rights to the upcoming [i.e., not even out yet] novel “Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament” by S.G. Browne. Cody will produce the zombie romantic comedy, marking her third collaboration with the studio following “Juno” and the upcoming Megan Fox starrer “Jennifer’s Body.”  [which was about "a cheerleader possessed by a demon who begins feeding off the boys in a Minnesota farming town."]
“Breathers” centers on a recently deceased Everyman and newly minted zombie who is having trouble adjusting to his new existence. All that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls. [Variety]

OMG, that sounds so cute and hip and fetch!  We could call it a zomrombedy! And there’ll be tons of hilarious self-help references!  This is going to be the most kickin and blingy and meta and iPod and web 2.0 movie evar! I’m totally going to American Apparel this afternoon to get an outfit for the premiere.