Forbes today released their list of Hollywood’s most overpaid actors, finding that Eddie Murphy topped the list, with Katherine Heigl a distant second. I believe Forbes performed the study in conjunction with No Duh Magazine, with help from grant by the No Sh*t Institute’s Department of the Plainly Obvious. This after Murphy toplined Forbes’ number two bomb (hee hee! “number two bomb!”) of the year, A Thousand Words (The Oogieloves should really get some kind of award for managing to be worse than A Thousand Words).

Here’s the list, with the number meaning the amount of box office return for every dollar that actor was paid:

1. Eddie Murphy, $2.30
2. Katherine Heigl, $3.40
3. Reese Witherspoon, $3.90
4. Sandra Bullock, $5
5. Jack Black, $5.20
6. Nic Cage, $6
7. Adam Sandler, $6.30
8. Denzel Washington, $6.30
9. Ben Stiller, $6.50
10. Sarah Jessica Parker, $7

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Forbes just released their list of the year’s 10 biggest flops (defining loss here as a percentage of budget, rather than total loss), which you can see below. The year is almost over, so there aren’t many films left that can out-bomb these bombs. All that’s left are Anna Karenina, Life of Pi, Twilight, Red Dawn, Rise of the Guardians, Silver Linings Playbook, Hitchcock, Killing Them Softly, Lay the Favorite, Playing for Keeps, The Hobbit, Hyde Park on the Hudson, The Guilt Trip, Zero Dark Thirty, Jack Reacher, Les Mis, Django, and Promised Land. Phew, okay, that’s actually a lot. But I believe in you, Red Dawn.

We used data from Box Office Mojo to see which films earned the smallest percentage of their budgets at the box office. Keep in mind that to begin to even imagine breaking even a film needs to earn at least twice its production budget at the box office. These 10 films didn’t come close. [Cloud Atlas is still in theaters, so it doesn't technically count yet, but I included it anyway.]

1. “The Oogieloves,” (Box office: $1 million; production budget: $20 million)

2. “A Thousand Words,” (Box office: $20 million; production budget: $40 million)/ “Cloud Atlas” (Box office: $24 million; production budget: $100 million)

3. “Dredd” (Box office: $28 million; production budget: $50 million)

4. “Big Miracle” (Box office: $25 million: production budget: $40 million)

5. “Wanderlust” (Box office: $21 million; production budget: $30 million)

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ACTING!

*monocle falls to the floor*

That’s right, Kristen Stewart is Hollywood’s highest-paid actress. To get their result, Forbes compiled their best estimates of upfront pay, profit participation, residuals, endorsements and advertising work, without deducting for agents fees, manager fees (which actually does seem like an important factor not to include), or vajazzling. Between May 2011 and May 2012, Kristen Stewart earned $34.5 million, edging out last year’s number ones (it was a tie), Angelina Jolie and Sarah Jessica Parker. No, Kristen Stewart isn’t a very good actress (something I’ve already covered in great detail), but then, she’s still a lot better than Taylor Lautner. And look on the bright side: at least Katherine Heigl didn’t make the list this year.

1. Kristen Stewart, $34.5 million
2. Cameron Diaz, $34 million
3. Sandra Bullock, $25 million
4. Angelina Jolie, $20 million
5. Charlize Theron, $18 million
6. Julia Roberts, $16 million
7. Sarah Jessica Parker, $15 million
8. Meryl Streep, $12 million
9. Kristen Wiig, $12 million
10. Jennifer Aniston, $11 million

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Now I realize this is going to sound farfetched, but apparently there’s more than just a few ways to burn through a large amount of money very quickly: purchasing excess amounts of black tar heroin, investing poorly in a sh**ty rapper’s vodka company, cramming all that money up a body cavity -or, if you happen to reside in Hollywood, you can always just grossly overpay the star of your next big (supposed) blockbuster. Yeah, that’s also a great way to get rid of a bunch of cash -but just how much money constitutes a bunch? Well, in an apparent attempt to answer that question (and inspire mass suicides everywhere) Forbes just released their 2010 list of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors. You know, just to really help put into perspective how truly underpaid you are at your day job. And just to lay any rumors to rest, neither Nic Cage or Billy Zane made the list this year, sorry.

To formulate their list, Forbes first started with the 36 highest-earning actors from Hollywood. To qualify, during the past five years, each actor would have to have starred in, at least, three films that opened in more than 500 theaters. After this initial categorization, they then began to factor in various other details like penis length and bench press ability.

We used data gathered for our annual Celebrity 100 list to calculate each star’s estimated earnings on each film (including up-front pay and any earnings from the movie’s box-office receipts, DVD and TV sales). We then looked at each movie’s estimated budget [...] and box-office, DVD and television earnings to figure out an operating income for each film.

We added up each star’s compensation on his or her last three films and the operating income on those films, an divided total operating income by the star’s total compensation to come up with a return-on-investment number. The final number represents an average of how much a studio earns for every dollar paid.

Forbes fails to mention how many interns bludgeoned themselves to death with graphing calculators, during the research, but I can only assume the final count was north of ten.

Top 10 Overpaid Actors after the cut.

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Remember when your mom was on welfare and your family couldn’t afford real Fruit Loops, so you had to buy those “Fruit Rings” that came in a big trash bag?  According to Forbes, Shia Labeouf is that fruit ring.  He tops the list of actors who offer the biggest box-office returns for their price.  Hiring him is like getting a four-finger discount*.  Here’s the list:

1. Shia LaBeouf – $81
2. Anne Hathaway – $64
3. Daniel Radcliffe – $61
4. Robert Downey Jr. – $33
5. Cate Blanchett – $27
6. Jennifer Aniston – $21
7. Meryl Streep – $21
8. Johnny Depp – $18
9. Nicholas Cage – $17
10. Sarah Jessica Parker – $17

The numbers mean Shia Labeouf brings in $81 for every dollar that he’s paid.  Of course, a lot of his value comes from a movie like Transformers 2, where he could’ve been replaced by an upturned broom with a smiley face drawn on it in crayon and it still would’ve made $300 million.  Don’t ask me why.  I think it’s some kind of retard magic.
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