Guess which one’s an Oscar winner

With lots of new films hitting DVD today, there’s something for every discerning fan of cinema.  Besides The Paperboy (pictured above) we’ve got new films with Jake Gyllenhaal, Patton Oswalt, Danny Trejo, and Olivia Thirlby.  There’s films about universal soldiers, imposters, fat kids, phone-sex workers, and samurais.  There’s warriors of witchcraft and witch’s brew, and even one of this year’s Oscar-nominated films.

The DVDs:
End Of Watch
The Paperboy
Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning
Nature Calls
Death Race 3: Inferno
Searching For Sugar Man
For A Good Time, Call…
Nobody Walks
The Imposter
Officer Down
Tai Chi Zero
Fat Kid Rules The World
Hara-Kiri: Death Of A Samurai
Hansel & Gretel: Warriors Of Witchcraft
Night Of The Templar
Derby Dogs
Hold Your Breath
Dead Sushi
Witch’s Brew
Zombie Ed

Streaming: Check out your choices here.

Can’t remember which one of these films is an Oscar-nominee?  Continue reading to find out.  Want to know why nobody walks?  Maybe it’s because fat kids rule the world, but you should continue reading just to be sure.  If you don’t really care and just want something to stream on Netflix, click the link above, but you’ll be missing out on a movie that gets the Dove Seal of Approval, despite featuring attempted vehicular manslaughter and scenes of people being covered in human excrement.  The choice is yours. Read the rest of this entry »

"Maybe come back to my place, watch 'I, Robot' and I'll put my penis in your armpit."

Opening Everywhere: The Possession, For a Good Time Call

Opened Wednesday: Lawless

Not Opening Anywhere: Doggie B

FilmDrunk Suggests: I suggest that you write every Hollywood studio exec, your congressman, senators, President Obama, Mitt Romney, whoever runs Canada (just in case), your uncle who always talks about how he knows powerful people, and anyone in the Target break room that will listen to you and demand that Doggie B be released nationwide. It is an atrocity that we can’t readily see this film.

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I watched this short today, The Saddest Boy in the World, only to find out once I researched it that it’s been online for two months and was actually shot in 2006. Okay, so it’s not “news,” but it was news to me and I thought it was pretty fun so I’m posting it GOD STOP YELLING AT ME I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!

The world has conspired against poor Timothy Higgins and he has no choice but to hang himself. Always the dramatist, he chooses his own 9th birthday party as his stage. If you find this funny, good. If you’re offended, it’s okay—our paths were never meant to cross. [Vimeo]

I don’t know about you, but a little kid in a birthday hat putting a noose around his neck that smash cuts to a title card that says “THE SADDEST BOY IN THE WORLD” is smack bang right in the middle of my f*cking wheelhouse. It’s sort of like watching Wes Anderson tell a dead baby joke. Which, again, yes please.

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It’s time for another installment of This Week in Posters, and this week C-Tates and friends are here to kick this party off right! (*thrusts hips, throws shirt at audience, trips over coffee table*) The official theater rules for my press screening say shirts are required, but I think I saw a lot laaawbreakers in the mirror. (*rubs belly*)

Prediction: Nine months from next week, there will be a spike in the birth rate. This will be known as the “Magic Mike Spike.”

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