Note: That is not Bruce Willis

Wes Anderson, whom I love, because I ride my bike around San Francisco hopping from coffee shop to coffee shop writing arch blog posts, has a new film going into production, but even the most virulent anti-hipster would have to concede that this sounds pretty awesome.  Focus Features has acquired the US distribution rights to Moonlight Kingdom, according to the latest press release (with plans to sell the international rights at Cannes), and get a load of this cast:

Set on an island off the coast of New England in the 1960s, Moonrise Kingdom follows a young boy and girl falling in love. When they are moved to run away together, various factions of the town mobilize to search for them and the town is turned upside down – which might not be such a bad thing. Bruce Willis plays the town sheriff; two-time Academy Award nominee Edward Norton is cast as a camp leader; Academy Award nominee Bill Murray and Academy Award winner Frances McDormand portray the young girl’s parents; the cast also includes Academy Award winner Tilda Swinton and Jason Schwartzman. The young boy and girl are played by Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward.

If there isn’t a slow-motion running away sequence set to a Rolling Stones song and title cards with big yellow text, I will choke myself with Wes Anderson’s ascot.  I’m interested to see how Bill Murray plays “concerned parent”, though.  The role would seem to rob Bill Murray of his most appealing quality, being pleasantly aloof and not giving a f*ck. When it comes to f*ck giving, Bill Murray is the stingiest.

Yo girl, I challenge yo triflin' punk ass.

Despite my best wishes, Channing Tatum has some new buzz around him as Focus Features is pimping their golden boy’s epic Roman adventure, The Eagle of the Ninth, set for a Feb. 25 release next year. Tatum will play the son of… what’s that? OK, OK, get off my back already… Channing would much rather explain his next role himself, so I apologize in advance:

Awwwwwwwww yeah, ya boi C-Tate up in the bizznatch like a snizznatch! The FilmDrank Man Skank wit da feets dat can’t be beats all up in ya grills today wiff Da Eagle of Da Ninf, and naw girl dat ain’t no Tiger Woods film, haha for real. Yo girl, I’m playin’ Marcus Aquila, and like my pops goes missin’, which is legit, like when yo pops went out for a pack of Newports and he ain’t never come home neither. Yo girl, I’m sorry I brought that up. I’ll make you feel better by letting me gets a beej.

Yo Hollywood News, watch yo daughter do work, son:

“The Eagle of the Ninth” will open Feb. 25. A Roman epic adventure, “Ninth” is set in 140 AD, 20 years after the unexplained disappearance of the entire Ninth Legion in the mountains of Scotland. Young centurion Marcus Aquila (Channing Tatum) arrives from Rome to solve the mystery and restore the reputation of his father, the commander of the Ninth. Accompanied only by his British slave, Esca (Jamie Bell), Marcus sets out across Hadrian’s Wall into the uncharted highlands of Caledonia – to confront its savage tribes, make peace with his father’s memory, and retrieve the lost legion’s golden emblem, the Eagle of the Ninth. The movie also stars Donald Sutherland, Mark Strong, and Tahar Rahim.

Yo girl, I’m kinda pissed, right? At first I thought that was Rakim with Eric B., nawmsayin’? But naw, just some punk ass pretender, so I was all like, Yo FilmDrank, I’m gonna bust a rhyme flava tight to explain my new movie. Yo girl, I hope you ain’t wearing no Aqua Net because I’m about to spit fire:

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This is the trailer for Babies, a documentary about, you guessed it, babies.

Simultaneously follows four babies around the world — from birth to first steps. The children are, respectively, in order of on-screen introduction: Ponijao, who lives with her family near Opuwo, Namibia; Bayarjargal, who resides with his family in Mongolia, near Bayanchandmani; Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan; and Hattie, who resides with her family in the United States, in San Francisco. [Yahoo]

I’m not that into babies, because as Patton Oswalt says, they’re just miniature shirtless humans wearing bags of crap around their waists.  But if you called this Puppies, I’d already have a ticket.  I mean just look at this sh-t:

I’d buy whatever he was selling, even if it was baby poison. Read the rest of this entry »