Here’s a guy getting kicked in the face, set to Guile music from Street Fighter. All it needs is that one guy who looked like he was jerking off in the background. Impressive, landing that clean a head kick in a river fight. By the way, “I’LL F*CK SAUCE YOU UP!” is my new favorite threat. |via Fightlinker|

MORNING LINKS
Aaron Sorkin’s lost Amazon product reviews uncovered |Film Drunk|

The guys recount some of the worst jobs they’ve ever had. |Frotcast|

At least someone is grateful for the potato their Great Aunt Annie sent them. [via Awesomephilia]

The Rolling Stones Covered The Beatles For The First Time In 48 Years |UPROXX|

The Saddest Moment Of This Season Of ‘Sons Of Anarchy’ Happened Off-Screen |Warming Glow|

Women Pole Dancing For Charity? Yes Please
|With Leather|

Watch This Paralyzed Dog Walk Again After A Cell Transplant |Gamma Squad|

Chris Brown Deletes Twitter Account After Saying He Wants To Sh*t On A Woman’s Eye |The Superficial|

The Best Moments From NFL Week 12 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Please nobody tell these girls how their clothes are suposed to work |theChive|

31 Kids Who Are Too Clever For Their Own Good |Buzzfeed|

5 Sauces That Changed The Way We Eat |Mental Floss|

One Person Really Enjoyed Liz & Dick |IDLYITW|

10 Things Chris Brown Can Do Now That He’s Off Twitter |College Humor|

The 30 Greatest Mustachioed Movie Villains Of All Time |Screen Junkies|

Minimalist video game posters. For nerds who no longer live at home |Fark|

Rockin for Russia |Holy Taco|

The Jack Nicholson Joker Origin Game |Videogum|

My Five Favorite Love Interests From Superhero Films |Unreality|

FREAKING HUGE Pee Wee Football Player Plows Over a Defender with a Truck Stick For the Ages |Brobible|

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If you read FilmDrunk, you already know how much we dig on Terrence Howard’s wisdom, and hats, man.  I mean this cat truly has the soul of a poet, man. So when he spreads his wings and flies?  We just try to spread around the droppings, man.  To fertilize the Earth. Are you hip?  Here it goes… (*snappity snappity bongo mike hiss hi hat*)

[From press day for Fighting]  “I ride life like it’s a beautiful go-cart. Me and my friends, we’ll get out there and make a go-cart. You spend so much time finding pieces to make the go-cart, and sometimes it don’t work. But then, all of a sudden, you’ve got a go-cart that’s working. And right when you start riding down the hill, your mother calls you and tells you that you gotta come in. The little boy has to stop, right then and there. So, he comes in and he’s angry and sullen in the face. I’m having such a great time in my life right now. I’m making go-carts, you know? And then, when they call me and make me come to work, I walk in there, I slam doors and I do all those things that a little bad kid would do.”

Oh man. A go cart.  With beautiful long hair. And white-washed tires… all full of kids… that you ride with your friends. That’s so deep man.  So true.  You’re like a bottomless pit of wisdom – with a pool at the bottom. Where we wash away our superficialities.  Tell us more, man.

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A new batch of clips from Fighting aka OMG OMG Channing Tatum Shirtless aka Freddy Got Fisted was released today, including the one above, entitled “Shawn fights the Korean opponent.”  Which is odd, because the “Korean opponent” is actually Cung Le, who’s Vietnamese-American and a former Sanshou champion (Sanshou being a Chinese variation of kickboxing that incorporates trips and wrestling throws and oh god why do I know this).  The best part is watching Terrence Howard in the background.  You can tell his soul has a hard time absorbing all this violence.  He just thinks the world would be a silkier place if cats could learn to love each other.  Now dig this vibe, man.  *bongo playing*
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Fighting stars Channing Tatum as a “tough street kid” who gets mentored in the fight game by Terrence Howard (though in real life, the only thing Terrence Howard beats is a djembe).  So basically it’s Never Back Down but set in New York and with a lighter-skinned black guy (the white guys look basically the same). MTV says…

Channing Tatum is seemingly everywhere these days, with his high-profile starring turn in “G.I. Joe” coming up this summer. But before then he’ll be taking it to the streets in “Fighting.” In the film, Channing plays a young criminal who becomes immersed in the bare knuckle world of underground fighting.

A bare-knuckle world?  Good heavens!  I’ll stick to wearing white gloves and attending fashionable tea parties, thank you very much.

Now, it’s not like I expect anything good to come from Channing Tatum’s Karate-Kid-meets-MMA-meets-bodies-hitting-floor flick Fighting, but still: what in the f-ck is this supposed to be?  It looks like the Rocky statue with Channing Tatum’s face poorly grafted on.  This movie has one selling point.  ONE.  Channing Tatum shirtless.  So to recap: for the poster, they took the man candy, redrew his face so it looks all f-cked up and retarded, and then, just in case someone might still be interested, stuck a shirt on him.  It’s like they’re trying to get hired at Fox or something.  I don’t want to succumb to easy hyperbole here, but whoever dreamed up this poster should be poisoned, shot, stabbed, burned, shot out of a cannon, and punched in the face.  Not necessarily in that order.

Tagline: “Some dreams are worth the fight.”  (You know, especially if your dream is to be a fighter) (Hurrrrr…).

[via Cinematical]