Via /Film, the site Kropserkel is selling soap just like the Fight Club soap, an idea so obvious I can’t believe no one’s thought of it before.  They also make sure to note that it is NOT made the same way it is in the film, so if you want to clean yourself with women’s fat asses, you’ll have to have your sister shower with you (*blows vuvuzela*).

Meanwhile, LuxuryLaneSoap is selling soap shaped like Han Solo encased in carbonite, which is a much less obvious idea and pretty awesome looking.

Each soap is hand poured and then detailed with pure, skin safe matte and metallic pigments. These are made one at a time with A LOT of love. For a limited time I am offering a version of this soap with an Aurebesh label. Be sure to note which version you are purchasing when adding to cart. Aprox. 4.2 inches x 2.25 inches and an inch thick. Approximately 5 oz / 142 g ? Made fresh daily! Vegan ?

Does it come with salicylic acid to fight acne?  Ha, just kidding. I’m sure the people buying Star Wars collector’s items will have no problem keeping their soap inside the plastic case to keep it from losing value.

“See this soap?  (*takes bite of Hot Pocket*)  It’s 100% vegan.”

I don’t know, bros, maybe I just inhaled too much Axe Body Spray fumes, but this premise sounds so awesome that I spit Steven Seagal energy drink all over my computer.

TMU Pictures is moving forward with the action-adventure film “War Birds.”  Michael Chait wrote the original story and will produce and direct the screenplay written by Josh Staman and Bryan Binder. J. Todd Harris (“Bottle Shock”) and screenwriter Richard Jefferies (“Tron Legacy”), who will polish the script, are producing.

“Birds” follows an Air Force veteran-turned-reckless airshow re-enactment pilot as he gets pulled into the underground culture of illegal, real-life aerial combat. Shooting is scheduled for the summer in Michigan using all real airplanes and aerial sequences, including authentic P-51 Mustangs, P-38 Lightnings, F4U Corsairs and a B-17 Flying Fortress as well as modern military helicopters and jets. [THR]

UNDERGROUND AERIAL COMBAT, OOOH WHA-AAH AAH-AAH!!!  That is the metalest oxymoron I’ve ever heard.  It’s a good thing this idea didn’t get… *puts on sunglasses* …shot down.  YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

*Shotguns Mountain Dew, BASE jumps off skyscraper*

A couple months ago, a bomb blew out the window of a Starbucks on the Upper East Side in Manhattan.  No one was injured, and it probably would’ve been pretty badass to watch.  Now they’re saying the culprit was some kind of Fight Club copycat.  A 10-years-too late copycat, apparently.

The explosion appears to have been modeled on a scene [a scene? did they blow up a Starbucks in Fight Club? I don't remember that part] from the 1999 film “Fight Club,” the New York Police Department said. The predawn Memorial Day blast, from an explosive device, damaged a sidewalk bench and shattered windows at the shop, but no one was injured.

The teenager, Kyle Shaw, 17, of 250 West 27th Street in the Chelsea section of Manhattan, charged with arson, criminal possession of a weapon and criminal mischief, Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly said.

Wait, you can print a 17-year-old’s name and address in the newspaper now?

Mr. Shaw was arrested near his home, and the authorities found on him a DVD of “Fight Club” and a box of sparklers as well as a newspaper clipping reporting on the Starbucks bombing. Mr. Shaw had bragged to friends that he was responsible for the bombing, police said, and had started an underground fight club modeled on the one in the 1999 film.  “His statements indicated he was launching his own Project Mayhem,” police said. [NY Times]

Yeah?  What tipped you off, the sparklers?  See, this is why I’m glad I didn’t grow up in New York.  I’m not saying planting bombs at Starbucks is okay, but what’s a kid supposed to do when he doesn’t have a bonfire to throw trashbags full of gasoline and aerosol cans into?  Seriously, tell me, I’m from the country, I don’t know these things.  (It also helps to keep a couple shotguns handy in case the aerosol cans don’t blow up right away.  So I hear).

Seven employees at a Texas imbecile asylum (that’s what they’re called nowadays, right?) have been suspended for allegedly staging a retard fight club.

“Corpus Christi Police Captain Tim Wilson says the fight clubs were uncovered when someone gave an off-duty police officer a cell phone containing videos of fights at the Corpus Christi State School. Wilson says the videos show mentally disabled adult clients punching, shoving, and striking each other while the employees watch.” [Breitbart]

“Authorities say vivid video footage captured on cellphone cameras shows staffers goading young mentally disabled male residents of the institution into physical altercations, then shoving them at each other until fights ensued.” [DallasNews both via /Film]

I think any type of fighting, even dueling, is acceptable as long as both parties are willing combatants.  And if no one’s being forced to fight, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to watch.  With retarded people it’s a tough call.  It’s hard to say whether they have the mental capacity necessary to know what they’re getting themselves into.  Plus, it’s hard to get them to sit still long enough to attach the blades to their forelimbs.

IGN just premiered the UK poster for Choke, starring Sam Rockwell, based on the book by Chuck Palahniuk.  The new Choke poster’s very much like the old Choke poster, the main difference being that the new one has panties.  Oddly enough, the panties-halfway-down version seems way dirtier than the completely naked version.  Maybe because I’m imagining that they’re moist.  I guess what I’m trying to say is, all of a sudden I really want to bone a black chick.