Confession time: I love 8 Mile.  I watch it every damn time it comes on HBO and have half the rap battles memorized (“This guy’s a gangsta? His real name’s Clarence.”).  The only non-actor I can remember who basically played himself as well as Eminem did in 8 Mile was Howard Stern in Private Parts.  Yes, I realize that’s a pretty small list. But dammit, Eminem is coming back to movies, and that makes me happy.  …No, no, that’s okay, I’ll stuff myself in the locker.

Eight years later [after 8 Mile], Eminem is primed to make his return — a sexy return at that. It’s not a highly personal tale, nor an ’8 Mile’ sequel, but rather Fernando Meirelles’ upcoming sex-themed drama, ’360,’ placing him face to face with some of Hollywood’s best talent. Meirelles is the man behind ‘City of God,’ ‘The Constant Gardener’ and ‘Blindness,’ and he’s already tapped both Rachel Weisz and Anthony Hopkins for roles. Now, with the latest report from Production Weekly’s Twitter feed, we’ve got Eminem and Frances McDormand circling. [Moviefone]

City of God might be in my all-time top 10, but I don’t even want to see this movie. I just want visit the set and see B Rabbit and Tony Hops have a rap battle in front of the lunch truck.  And then maybe have France McDormand tell Em he’s a “dope rapper” in her Fargo voice.  …Yes, a boy can dream.  Oh would you look at that, spilled nacho cheese on my shirt.

Blindness opens this Friday and of course blind people are pissed because it’s super offensive.

Blind people quarantined in a mental asylum, attacking each other, soiling themselves, trading sex for food. For Marc Maurer, who’s blind, such a scenario — as shown in the movie “Blindness” — is not a clever allegory for a breakdown in society.

“The movie portrays blind people as monsters, and I believe it to be a lie,” said Maurer, president of the Baltimore-based National Federation of the Blind. “Blindness doesn’t turn decent people into monsters.”

The organization plans to protest the movie… Blind people and their allies will hand out fliers and carry signs. Among the slogans: “I’m not an actor. But I play a blind person in real life.”

The movie reinforces inaccurate stereotypes, including that the blind cannot care for themselves and are perpetually disoriented, according to the NFB.

“We face a 70% unemployment rate and other social problems because people don’t think we can do anything, and this movie is not going to help — at all,” said Christopher Danielsen, a spokesman for the organization.

Based on the 1995 novel by Nobel Prize winner Jose Saramago, “Blindness” imagines a mysterious epidemic that causes people to see nothing but fuzzy white light — resulting in a collapse of the social order in an unnamed city. Julianne Moore stars as the wife of an eye doctor (Mark Ruffalo) who loses his sight; she feigns blindness to stay with her husband and eventually leads a revolt of the quarantined patients.

The book was praised for its use of blindness as a metaphor for the lack of clear communication and respect for human dignity in modern society. [THR]

These A-holes are just like the Tropic Thunder and Towelhead protestors.  I mean, where do they get off protesting a movie they haven’t even seen? **tap dances off stage**

Fernando Meirelles directed The Constant Gardener and one of my favorite movies, City of God. Miramax today released the teaser for his latest, Blindness. It’s about a virus turns everyone blind, and the trailer ends with the line:

The only thing more terrifying than blindness is being the only one who can see.

Yeah, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree there.  I’d much rather be the one guy with sight.  You could go up to people and be like, "Hey, can you hold this for a second?"  and then put your dick in their hand.  We used to do that all the time with the blind kid at my elementary school.  I think he killed himself last year, but everyone agreed that the dick-in-the-hand thing was pretty funny.