This cat kind of sucks at drinking, though I find his attempts strangely mesmerizing.  I hear Nic Cage uses his forehead in much the same way.  -Thanks to Pete for the tip

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS:

• If you like Chris Hardwick better than Daniel Tosh you’re not my friend, but in any case, the part where the watermelons exploded was pretty effin sweet. |G4|
• Believe it or not, fighting giraffes are pretty gangster. |Recall|
• Patrick Swayze’s five best movie fights.  It’s funny, no one uses the back fist or the double fist in movie fights anymore.  Those were huge in the 80s. |WorldofIsaac|
• Of course they’re making a DJ Hero video game.  Now instead of being a dipsh’t fauxmey, you can pretend to be one in a video game.  |rockonthestreets|
• Try the Kanye West apology generator before this meme is played out six hours from now.  |Atom|
• Pretty sure College Humor’s Facebook status chains are fake, but they’re fun if you suspend disbelief for a few minutes.  Kinda like me when I tell you you’re the only one for me, baby. |CollegeHumor|
• What crappy Gossip Girl character are you?  I’m Drago Rocky Chelios, esq.  Not a character, you say?  Just wait.  |ScreenJunkies|
• And finally, 25 visits from Pedo Bear. |HolyTaco|

Jason Reitman directs movies about every two years, which seems about right for staying relevant without overextending yourself.  This is the first clip from Up in the Air, his follow-up to Juno and Thank You for Smoking (the rare movie adaptation that’s actually better than the book). It’s based on a 2001 Walter Kirn novel about a guy on a personal quest to rack up a million frequent flyer miles.  In the clip, George Clooney and Vera Farmiga talk miles, upgrades, and the latest hotel trend — an atmosphere that is “faux-homey,” or “fauxmey.”  The term seems unnecessary as it relates to travel, but “faux-homey”? I think we’ve finally found the politically correct replacement for “wigger.” Used in a sentence: I went to Ben Lyons’ and Danny Masterson’s DJ show last night, and man can those fauxmeys spin!

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