The Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges movie, which was once set to star Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and Sean Penn, before Sean Penn Haiti’d the entire project, just released its first official image, with replacement cast Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos, and Sean Hayes. So… What do you think? I mean, I don’t want to start bashing this thing before I’ve seen any of it, but isn’t this a little weird? Trying to mimick the original Three Stooges clothes and haircuts seems a little like sticking a guy in a black turtleneck and pretending he’s George Carlin. It’d be fine for a dramatization of Carlin’s life, but it seems like it’d be asking a lot for us to laugh at his Carlin-esque jokes.

Even the Stooges, when when it was Larry, Moe, and Shemp, or Larry, Moe, and Joe Besser, they didn’t really try to make you think you were watching the same lineup (they sort of did with Curly Joe, but even then it was a little different). Even if it’s really funny, it’s seems like it’s going to be hard for people to get past the basic cognitive dissonance of going, “Hey! Those aren’t the Stooges!” But then, what do I know, I’m just a pampered debutante.

The comedy is not a biopic but instead is shot in three segments in the style of their film shorts from the ’30s and ’40s and places the trio in contemporary times as they struggle to save the orphanage where they were raised. The Farrellys, known for R-rated ribaldry, have vowed to keep the humor at a PG level. But with Larry David as a vindictive nun, an appearance by the kids of The Jersey Shore and even that hunky Old Spice guy in the cast, the slapstick should still run amok. [USA Today]

“Wait, so you’re telling me it’s going to be a contemporary orphanage run by nuns?”

“Right! And, the cast of Jersey Shore will be there!”

“…Check, please.”

Two years ago, the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges was set to star Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey, a strange but undeniably A-list cast.  Then Sean Penn decided he was taking a career hiatus, moved to Haiti, and started banging Scarlett Johansson, which is probably awesome for him, but the Three Stooges cast fell apart.  The film is finally set to start shooting this month, with Will Sasso from Mad TV/Sh*t My Dad Says as Curly, Sean Hayes from Will and Grace as Larry, and Chris Diamantopoulos as Mo (that’s the first time I’ve ever typed that guy’s name — how’d I do?).  Luckily, they’ve also signed Larry David in a supporting role, because otherwise this sounds like a TV movie:

They’re closing in on a deal with Larry David to play Mother Mengele, the unfortunate nun who runs the orphanage where the Stooges grow up and learn to create mayhem. The Seinfeld co-creator will join Jane Lynch, who plays Mother Superior. [Deadline]

Knowing Larry David, who I’ve never seen play anyone but himself, I’m guessing that other than dressing him up like a woman he’ll be playing the character Norm MacDonald-style, that I’m-not-going-to-insult-you-by-pretending-I’m-even-trying method of acting (which works for them).  It will also be interesting to see the Stooges move away from broad slapstick gags and more towards long conversations about the etiquette of double-dipping and whether they respect wood.

When the Farrelly Brothers’ Three Stooges movie first came together a couple years ago, at least if it was going to be a disaster, having Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey in the cast ensured that it’d still be a big deal.  Then Sean Penn got a divorce, then changed his mind twice, then actually got divorced, and then moved to Haiti and started banging Scarlett Johansson, and the project lost its stars and was thrown into limbo.  Now it’s coming back together (set to shoot in a month) with Will Sasso from Mad TV/Sh!t My Dad Says as Curly, Sean Hayes from Will & Grace as Larry, and a Moe as yet to get determined.  That’s right, they found a ‘mo, but he’s playing Larry. (*rimshot, slide whistle, apology letter to GLAAD*)

No filmmakers have put more time into a Stooges film than the Farrellys. They’ve been working on script drafts for about 12 years. The Farrellys feel they overcame the structural problems by breaking the film up into three 27-minute-long segments. The feature tells a single story, but the breaks give the audience a chance to catch its breath. The structure also lends the feel of the abbreviated running time of the original Stooges shorts, and gives the Farrellys the chance to use all three of the signature Stooges theme songs. “There will be non-stop slapping, more in the tone of Dumb and Dumber than anything else we’ve done,” Peter Farrelly told me recently. “Our goal is 85 minutes of laughs in a film that will be very respectful of who the Stooges were. It’s by far the riskiest project we’ve ever done, without question, but it is also the one closest to our hearts.” [Deadline]

Well, uh… good luck.  Nothing against the current cast (I did love Will Sasso in Drop Dead Gorgeous), but they make it feel more like a basic-cable biopic than the huge dramatic actors cast against type.  Farrelly Brothers’ movies have felt outdated since the early 2000s, but maybe doing something overtly retro will suit them better?  I don’t know.  Trying to recapture the magic of the Three Stooges is like catching lightning in a bottle, or trying to save a coffee can filled with farts in your freezer.  Comedy is kind of like farts, when you think about it, in that no one fully understands their properties, but that’s what makes them so beautiful. (*walks off humming “What a Wonderful World”*)

After the jump, you can watch the red-band trailer for the Farrelly Brother’s Hall Pass, which opens next Friday.  Thank God this one’s a little better than the first trailer, because watching the guys who made Kingpin stoop to tired pot-brownie jokes is like watching Mike Tyson get his ass kicked by a white kid outside a Dairy Queen. (Or like seeing anything Ice Cube has done since 2004).  This one’s better because at least with the vulgarity included, it has actual punch lines.  Broad sex comedy doesn’t work without swear words and crude talk, it just looks like Old Dogs.  Now it looks damn near watchable.  Not that my hopes are too high.  These are the same guys who put Carlos Mencia in their last movie.  My favorite part was when the guy who made a living off being Mexican couldn’t do a Mexican accent.

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The Farrelly Brothers had an impressive string of movies I thought were really funny back in the 90s (Kingpin, Dumb and Dumber, Something About Mary, the script for the forgotten and underrated Outside Providence).   I’m not sure why their style of comedy doesn’t work anymore, exactly, but it’s hard to watch them try to force that same kind of movie past its sell-by date over and over again (Heartbreak Kid, anyone?).  Anyway, this one’s called Hall Pass, and it stars Owen Wilson and the eminently likable Jason Sudeikis as guys whose wives give them a week off from their marriage to do whatever they want.   They get so excited that they start eating pot brownies and wearing motorcycle helmets indoors like two 13-year-olds who’ve never heard of a prostitute.

[via Apple]