(I move we cast a hot chick with no acting talent and then make her look terrible. All in favor say “Unnnghh”)

Fox has announced that it will be rebooting Fantastic Four.  The upside is that the rebooted version couldn’t be much worse than the two they already made.  Ha, just kidding, this is Fox, where making things worse is job one.  (Job two?  Don’t drool).

Though Marvel Entertainment owns and finances properties like “Iron Man” and “Thor,” Fox controls “Fantastic Four” in perpetuity — as long as it continues making the films. Fox has the same arrangement on Marvel Comics properties “X-Men,” “Daredevil” and “Silver Surfer.”

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The Fantastic Four movies are the perfect counterpoint to stuff like The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2 in the argument over whether comic-book movies are good or bad.  What kind of idiots would want to reboot that mongoloid orgy, you ask?  Guess.  Go ahead.  Come on, if you’ve been reading this site longer than a day I’m sure you’ll get it.  That’s right, of course it’s Fox.  Says rumor source IESB:

The two films previously released never really caught on with the fans and the studio is reportedly looking to completely retool, recast and recrew the franchise.  The franchise is looking to be “less bubble gum” this time round following the Iron Man template, which was a complete success in reviews and box office take but a bit darker when it came to its superhero.

If Fox is doing it, expect the re-do to be just as bad as the do.  That is to say, more do-do.  (See what I did there?) If you don’t believe me, just take a look at a clip from Dragonball after the jump.  That’s a recent, comic-booky Fox project.  And yet, it looks like it was filmed in the 30s. In all seriousness, what the hell is going on at that company? They must spend their board meetings playing head’s up 7up.
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